Homecare agency had to cancel at last minute today, fortunately my new patient this afternoon cancelled so I was able to get home before my son’s bedtime. CMM must be feeling a little better today, he’s online ordering a fruit basket lol!
Honestly, my oldest son has been such a giant help - I couldn’t do this without him. He’s a good soil, and it’s fortuitous that he works the graveyard shift.
I haven’t heard anything back from my ex. (I did send him a text yesterday letting him know I had sent him an email and he acknowledged that, so I presume he has read it). This is his typical M.O. when he’s going to say no - a long pause, keeping everyone on tenterhooks, while he composes a response which paints him as the poor put upon person instead of a cheap father who won’t help his kids. Oh well. I should be used to the idea that this is who he is now.
I empathize with your situation and having to carry the financial load when it comes to your kids needing help. I just had to buy SD21 a new bed. Her mom can't afford it and even if she asked her dad, she knows he would say no. Not that she asked me...she just told me that the bed she had did not fit into her room at her new place. I know she can't afford a new one though so there really wasn't another option. I would do the same for S13 and D13 if they were her age and in the same situation but at least in their case, their dad would maybe pay for half. I didn't even bother asking him. He's well aware that when she needs financial help, I'm the person that helps her and has never offered to help me out with that in the past. The fact that she isn't on speaking terms with him currently, gives him a free pass in his mind to not have anything to do with her. I'm sure she will be forgotten on her birthday (turns 22 on Sunday) and Christmas this year as well.
Hopefully you get the homecare issues sorted soon. (((HUGS)))
Yeah DJ - it’s crazy your ex wouldn’t step up for such a relatively small thing as a bed - it’s great though that SD knows you’ve got her back and that’s why you have such a good relationship with the kid.
I’ve bought beds, cars , paid for all to be on my cell phone plan, therapy appointments, etc etc. And not because they were lazy or entitled but because they all have struggles and it’s simply not as easy to get by as a young person in the US as it was when I was in my 20’s. I’ve also rented UHaul trucks and moved them multiple times. It’s really just insulting that my ex, who cheated on me and made more than twice what I do, feels the need to stick me with all these costs. But more importantly, his relationship with the kids is crumbling as a result of the way he treats them. I hate that he hurts them like that.
The Homecare should all get worked out. I only have a couple more days this month that need coverage - I’ve managed to reschedule almost all my afternoon patients. This last minute cancellation was unusual.
Well, I sent that email to my ex Wednesday - now it’s Saturday and he hasn’t responded. Grrrrrr.
Things with CMM are up and down. Overall this week he’s looked much better than the previous week. He’s eating a little bit more. But in the middle of the night he tells me “it feels like my bones are twisting and my insides are melting”. Monday afternoon he has the meeting with the second MD who has to sign off on the Aid in Dying paperwork. CMM seems to be counting the days until his waiting period is over, but simultaneously noting that he feels pretty good half the time.
Well, CMM's prescription (for the Aid in Dying) has been submitted to the pharmacy as his waiting period is up. I'm very careful not to encourage him, nor to make him feel he has to stay for me. He's not eating much and still isn't sleeping much at night, but otherwise stable. His oxygen levels are surprisingly good (albeit on 9-10 liters of oxygen) but even when he's sleeping he wakes often to cough up phlegm. He's made plans to have a sushi lunch with my son this weekend for son's birthday, so apparently he doesn't plan on exiting before then. My preference, if he is going to go through with this, would be for him to wait until after Xmas, when I have a week off and could tend to everything. However, that could be a long couple of weeks away for him, I won't ask it because I really want him to make all these decisions on his own timeline. And I'm very aware that most people who get the meds don't take them. I suspect CMM will though - he has a lifelong fear of drowning or suffocating.
kml, saying a prayer that CMM stays through the holidays, because he's feeling comfortable enough and enjoying them enough. Glad he's able to look forward to things still, such as your son's birthday!
Continued prayers and hugs for both of you, kml. Wishing you both peace in this transition.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I just read this quote, it really speaks to me. I feel as if, after what seemed like the worst happened (the breakup of my marriage ) that I learned to fall like a cat - and have been falling like a cat ever since. “When a cat falls out of a tree, it lets go of itself. The cat becomes completely relaxed, and lands lightly on the ground. But if a cat were about to fall out of a tree and suddenly make up its mind that it didn’t want to fall, it would become tense and rigid, and would be just a bag of broken bones upon landing.In the same way, it is the philosophy of the Tao that we are all falling off a tree, at every moment of our lives. As a matter of fact, the moment we were born we were kicked off a precipice and we are falling, and there is nothing that can stop it. So instead of living in a state of chronic tension, and clinging to all sorts of things that are actually falling with us because the whole world is impermanent, be like a cat.” – What is Tao?, Alan Watts
