glad you went out and had fun. My goal of seeing the Hoodoo Gurus is once again thwarted. The show we bought tickets for in 2019 has been cancelled. It was re-scheduled on two occasions. My guess is the band can't leave Australia due to that country's restrictions. Bummer. It was a sold out show with strict Covid precautions in place.
Happy Thanksgiving, a tad early.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 H moved out 4/24/15 D Final 12/23/16
Had a nice (early) Thanksgiving dinner with my kids today. Met my youngest son’s new girlfriend, I like her very much. That son seems the happiest and healthiest he’s been in a long time. It’s a load off my mind. It was good to have all three sons together.
Spoke on the phone with the hospice doctor who will initiate the Aid in Dying paperwork for CMM (our state has a relatively new assisted dying law. ) CMM is well aware that most people who request the meds don't take them, but believes he will feel better knowing he has that option if it becomes intolerable. Turns out, the doctor was on the faculty in the family medicine program at my school when I was a medical student, great guy, I remember him well. He says he came out of retirement to do this work - god bless him.
Ugh - rough nite. CMM became confused last night. I’m not sure if the cause but it came along with a bad bout of myoclonus, which he gets if his morphine level is too high with other meds. So I’m guessing he messed up his pills yesterday and took too much of something. (He stubbornly insists on taking his own meds - he’s ocd and has a system - but I’m gonna have to insist on laying them out in a pill box now. ). His oxygen levels are fine so that’s not the cause.
Anyway - he got mad at me in his confusion - he wanted me to walk his oxygen hose to the bathroom to prove it would reach but since he was attached to the other end of course I could only go halfway. He couldn’t understand that and became stubborn and refused to come to bed, instead sitting in his office chair and falling asleep there. So he woke me up once when he tried to climb into bed later and fell on the carpeted floor and took off his oxygen cannula. Finally I got him tucked into bed and went back to sleep. Then at 4 am he rolled on top of me and then insisted on continuing to roll right off the bed on my side. That was a whole other project to get him up off the floor and tucked back in on his side of the bed.
He’s a little better this morning but not completely clear. Tomorrow is the visit from the doctor about aid in dying meds and I need him to be back to his baseline mental state for that!
I’m glad I have these days off, hoping he returns to his senses before I go back to work Monday. This would be a lot for my son to handle if he’s still like this Monday.
Well, I thought this was going to be a temporary thing but CMM remains confused all day. I think we may have abruptly entered a new phase of the dying process. Yesterday he was planning a sushi lunch for today with my son. Today he could barely eat three pieces and slept most of the day. I thought initially it might have been due to him making a medication error but I managed his meds today and that doesn’t appear to be the cause. And although his oxygen levels were good last night, they’re slipping today.
I’m prepared but honestly wasn’t expecting this abrupt decline quite so soon.
The abruptness of CMM’s transition sounds a bit shocking; not unexpected, rather the speed of the decline. I do hope he regains enough awareness and is not too confused so to be able to sign the paperwork for aid in dying medication. He may or may not actually utilize it, it’s having the option and availability which will bring some further comfort.
Thinking of you, CMM, and son. You’ve for sure got your hands full, and are one levelheaded gal. (((Hug)))
May you and your’s be blessed.
Now: Me54 XW50 S24 S23 S21 D19
Oct 8/17-BD, Moves in w/OM, Leaves Kids Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15 M26 T29 Dec 9/17-Legal Separation Oct 3/18-W Files Apr 6/19-Divorced