I don't have any actual advice for your deposition since I didn't even have to go to court for my D. I would just echo what everyone else is saying about standing strong and breaking down later, away from him. Remember that you and your kids are better off. I also think CW made a good point that your STBX will likely cop to things that are easy to prove, but will skirt things that you can't prove or would be very difficult to prove, so don't go in expecting that he is just going to bare his entire soul to clean it all. My dad always uses the phrase "expect the best, but prepare for the worst" and I think that applies here. Best of luck!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
If you think you will have a bad adrenaline rush when you are in the presence of your ex - if you tend to et shaky and sweaty palms and rapid heart rate - talk to your doctor about the possibility of taking a low dose beta-blocker (unless you have asthma - it's contra-indicated for asthma).
This is how we treat stage fright - the patient takes a low dose (like 10 mg propranolol) of a beta blocker about an hour before performing. Beta blockers are blood pressure medications which work by blocking adrenaline effects. At these low doses, they can lessen the racing heart/sweaty palms/ shaking hands that some people experience when under stress. The lack of those physical symptoms, in turn, makes it easier to feel in control. It might help you feel calmer and react less to your ex.
If you think you will have a bad adrenaline rush when you are in the presence of your ex - if you tend to et shaky and sweaty palms and rapid heart rate - talk to your doctor about the possibility of taking a low dose beta-blocker (unless you have asthma - it's contra-indicated for asthma).
This is how we treat stage fright - the patient takes a low dose (like 10 mg propranolol) of a beta blocker about an hour before performing. Beta blockers are blood pressure medications which work by blocking adrenaline effects. At these low doses, they can lessen the racing heart/sweaty palms/ shaking hands that some people experience when under stress. The lack of those physical symptoms, in turn, makes it easier to feel in control. It might help you feel calmer and react less to your ex.
I called my dr and she gave me xanax. Wasn't my first choice but that's what she gave me. Dummy me took a whole pill just to see how I'd react and it put me down for 24 hours. Not fun.
When my anxiety gets high I talk too much and that is not a good thing.
I don't have any actual advice for your deposition since I didn't even have to go to court for my D. I would just echo what everyone else is saying about standing strong and breaking down later, away from him. Remember that you and your kids are better off. I also think CW made a good point that your STBX will likely cop to things that are easy to prove, but will skirt things that you can't prove or would be very difficult to prove, so don't go in expecting that he is just going to bare his entire soul to clean it all. My dad always uses the phrase "expect the best, but prepare for the worst" and I think that applies here. Best of luck!
I'm jealous. I didn't think I'd have to go to court either and yet here I am.
He's an accomplished liar so I'm not even sure what the point of this is. I will say my attorney is scary. She's nice to me but I wouldn't want to go up against her. I work in a court and everyone tells me she's a shark. She will make you look like an idiot and she's good at what she does.
I'm not even sure what the point of this is. He's an accomplished liar.. She will make you look like an idiot and she's good at what she does.
It sounds like you hope to catch him in a lie. It makes sense that you would hire a better attorney--yours need to get him off balance, his just needs to get him to stick to his written account. I'll have my fingers crossed for your success.
I called my dr and she gave me xanax. Wasn't my first choice but that's what she gave me. Dummy me took a whole pill just to see how I'd react and it put me down for 24 hours. Not fun.
Yeah, I don't recommend that because it can make you loopy. Ask for the beta blocker instead - it won't affect your brain.
I’m a big girl and a redhead so I tend to have a higher tolerance for meds and Xanax knocked me on my @$$. I took one the afternoon the doctor prescribed them and slept for about 36 hours straight and still felt groggy and drunk when I finally got up. So, be careful.
As far as not going to court, I realize I was very lucky, but we didn’t have custody issues and those sorts of things to deal with and he owned the house prior to our marriage and I owned my car prior to marriage so our only “assets” were all the stuff in the house, most of which he didn’t want because he was moving in with his new chippy. Ours was very quick and easy but again, I know I’m in the minority on that and very lucky.
You’ll be in my positive thoughts and prayers.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I’m a big girl and a redhead so I tend to have a higher tolerance for meds and Xanax knocked me on my @$$. I took one the afternoon the doctor prescribed them and slept for about 36 hours straight and still felt groggy and drunk when I finally got up. So, be careful.
Xanax was awful so I will not be doing that again. I have a prescription for lorazepam but I only take .25mg as needed. Yesterday I took .5mg as a test and I did okay. I was calm, a bit sleepy but nothing I couldn't push through. I need to be QUIET.
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As far as not going to court, I realize I was very lucky, but we didn’t have custody issues and those sorts of things to deal with and he owned the house prior to our marriage and I owned my car prior to marriage so our only “assets” were all the stuff in the house, most of which he didn’t want because he was moving in with his new chippy. Ours was very quick and easy but again, I know I’m in the minority on that and very lucky.
Mine is a nothing divorce and should have been done in 4 months because we'd already agreed on a settlement that was in his favor. Oh how naive I was. Since then the kids and I have learned his words are meaningless.
