Rope dropping and grey rocks

[97Hope]

Isn’t that “nothing” feeling amazing Hope??? You have to go through a bunch of s*it to get there but once you do, the world is your oyster. Good luck with the new professional opportunity!! Hope it works out.

It is GLORIOUS!!! Good to 'see' you!!!

[DnJ]

Hello Hope

Oh my. Cousin and cousin’s wife. SMH.

Nicely done speaking with DIL. Yes, her boundaries are being pushed.

Had a great time with the grandsons G8, G5. I picked them up from school yesterday and kept them with me today. I noticed G8 asking a LOT of questions about his gpa and I. When we got married, how we met, why we were now unmarried...etc. He said "Gpa said you don't like him anymore and that's why you won't come to his house". Hmmm. Wanted to tell him that I love his gpa, but don't agree with his choices, but didn't know if that was age appropriate.

Kids have questions. The best one can do is answer them honestly and age appropriately. For if not, their thirsty minds will find or make up the answers elsewhere.

“Gpa said you don't like him anymore and that's why you won't come to his house". This is true. You can love someone and not like them. It’s ok to tell G8 such a thing. No need to justify or explain the why part of it all.

It is pretty easy to see such a statement would bring follow up questions. At the tender age of eight, grandkid is wondering how it all affects him. Just hug him and tell him you love him. And Gpa loves him too, if he asks. It’s just Gpa sometimes has trouble showing it, if that comes up or is appropriate. Although for most folks who go off the deep end, emoting love and compassion becomes difficult. They lose quite a bit in their haste towards a new shinny life.

The role of grandparent is different than that of parent. And therefore one explains and answers differently.

Congratulations on the house. And the day shift. And the feeling of freedom. Love reading about your great life.

D

[97Hope]

(((D))) you always bring a peaceful easy feeling to the thread.

Thank you for the reassurance and understanding re: grands. I filled DIL and S29 in on our conversations so they may handle how they prefer. I stuffed them so full of food and kept them busy so we really didn't have a lot of down time. And they discovered that 'alexa' can play any sound they want, so we spent a nice bit of time asking her to play all kinds of obnoxious noises. LOL

It is a great life. I used to read your sitch and yearn for the peace and calm that seems to surround your homelife. Now I have slowly created the same.

[97Hope]

I have had a nice, relaxing Sunday. Did some reading on here and now headed out for an extra job. The pay is amazing and the schedule is perfect - they post jobs, and if I'm off, I grab it. It's usually a 3-4 hour job, so it's not even a big deal. With youngest still away, it's perfect.

A neighbor asked me a question as I was walking in last night. I answered the question and then he told me that I'm sexy. Ummm...ok. (He's 30). Then he found me on facebook and sent a message request.

I hate being called sexy. What is that? One of my sister's sleezy boyfriends used to say that to me (I was 14!!) so it's a trigger for me. By trigger, I mean, makes me want to pull one...but anyway - ladies, does this creep you out too? Guys, do you use that to 'compliment' women you aren't in a relationship with? I liked it when it was from my XH while we were together. Holy carp I'm so not ready to date in this world. I have all the questions.

I am looking forward to the move. Less than a month! lol Said neighbor and his GIRLFRIEND live across the hall. Good grief.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and avoids all the creepers. xo

[DnJ]

Hello Hope

No, I do not use “you look sexy” to compliment a women I’m not in a relationship with.

That kind of talk, to my way of thinking, is hitting upon that person. As in I want to be in a relationship with you. However, that particular avenue of ice breaking would not be used by me. It has a creeper vibe about it. Shows the depth of your neighbour, IMO.

Of course, I’m not a 30 year old and may have a wee bit more vocabulary, and experience, to draw from. Lol.

D

[bttrfly]

nope don't like that from a guy who lives with his GF. Huge creep factor for me.

[bttrfly]

to be more clear, not a big fan of that from a guy i'm not in a committed relationship with. otherwise, it's a lame pick up line.

[97Hope]

Thanks for the input, everyone! Yes, D, I don't believe he has the communication range that you do. LOL

bttrfly - I don't like it. Full stop.


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Pretty good week. Training exercise on Monday night. I was tired, but it was exhilarating! Meeting with a supervisor tonight to talk about my future.

Exciting times around here. Looking forward to closing on the house (9/29) and a move before 10/22 when my lease is up.

Getting some things out of storage unit tomorrow. That's another cost down with the house. Puts me at even between the apartment and the storage unit = mortgage.

Have a new opportunity for more side jobs. It seems all my prayers have been answered.

Financial.
Peace.
Being ok with what EX does/doesn't do.


Feeling thankful tonight. Have a nice party to attend tomorrow evening and then work all weekend. Actually glad for it. It's nice to be back on days and I need to stay busy right now. Seems when I'm off I lay about too much. Won't be able to when I move, as I will have an actual lawn to tend to.

Hope everyone is well.

[Dawn70]

As usual, ditto bttrfly. HUGE creep factor for anyone other than my current romantic partner (in this case, my husband) telling me I'm sexy. Anyone else saying it is a lame pick-up line and ick...hard pass.

Sounds like everything is coming up Hope and good for you! Onward and upward!

[97Hope]

Thanks, Dawn!!

I was just reading your other post about the LBS not the only one needing a reset/break. Completely agree.

Bttrfly also mentioned how her X went bonkers when it was final. From what I hear through the kids, like you I don't ask but they do talk, my X is doubling down on forcing the OW into their lives while having breakdowns even in front of kids when she isn't around.

He spent no time alone, didn't even monkey branch. He was all in in both trees. (insert Mr. Yuk emoji here). At any rate, his chickens are coming home to roost now. He can't look at photos without crying and has had several breakdowns in front of kids. Can't handle being alone with himself and his thoughts etc. That sounds like me in the beginning of the process.


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So, lesson learned - take time to grieve. Spend time with yourself. Get comfortable with the quiet alone time. It can be a major factor in healing and moving forward.

I see so many people hop right in to a new relationship and that seems to create all manner of problems.

Of course it's lonely at first. Solution isn't to use someone else to keep the lonely at bay. Solution is to embrace being alone, and discover how not to be lonely. One is geography, the other is a mindset.

When we use people to manage our emotions, we never learn how to manage them on our own.

My opinion, of course. Just something I keep seeing.

When I think about dating, I ask myself, would I date me, given all the information?