Kml, can you explain me, when dit you found out when you were finally done with it? How did that feel, can you explain me a bit the process of how this went?
Me(45)EXH(44) M:15 T:18, S19, S16 & S16 04/19-02/20 ILYB & OW1 12/20-08/22 OW2 (+pregnant-his child) 03/22-Divorce official 06/22-08/23 Reconnecting 09/23-possible back with OW2
In my case, it was a “three strikes” thing. See, my ex had slept with an old girlfriend the night before we were married - something that caused drama in the first year of our marriage but that I forgave him for and we moved past. Then he had an affair 17 years into our marriage - I found DB, worked hard on our marriage and myself, and we reconciled. We actually had several good years. Then 7 years later he had two concussions, asked for a divorce, and left after a few months. By that time I felt I had done everything possible to save my marriage, and that after three times, there would be NOTHING he could say or do that would ever cause me to trust him again. The day he filed the divorce papers I was done.
I actually wish now that I’d divorced him when he’d had the previous affair. I’d thought I was reconciling for the kids sake as well as for myself, but my kids told me much later that they were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think it was just as much stress for them as if we had split then. ( And my ex had never moved out of the house, and his affair only lasted 2-3 months).
My mantra at the time was “let go or be dragged”.
And I’ve come to recognize since my divorce that my ex is a narcissist. My life is so much better not having to walk on eggshells around him, trying to keep him happy. I wish I had not wasted so many years on him.
Well, my oldest son, who lives with me, has finally been exposed to Covid. A coworker at the grocery store has Covid. Luckily my son’s contact with them isn’t a lot but he has to go get tested today.
Good guy that he is, he’s already planned out how to avoid possibly exposing us. Because he works night shift we don’t cross paths much anyway, but he’ll mask when he’s outside his room, eat outside, avoid the kitchen, decontaminate surfaces. Luckily he had the Moderna vaccine which turns out to have a lower breakthrough infection rate than Pfizer. He’s really quite considerate of CMM.
kml, sorry to hear about your son's exposure. I will assume he'll be fine given it was a short exposure and he had Moderna, but it's always a bit worrying when it's your own kids. Glad he's being so aware and considerate. You raised him to be non-narcissistic despite your ex!
Yes, thank goodness my kids are all sweet souls. This one especially. He should be fine unless one of his closer coworkers has contracted it already and exposed him - the identified case works in the deli of the grocery store and he works stocking shelves, so they would only have fairly fleeting contacts in the break room and at the time cards. And he's pretty good about wearing his mask when other people are close. He's already gone to get his test.
But I was very proud of him, he had already figured out the steps to protect us in the house while he waits for his results. It's actually surprising that this is the first time he's had to get tested, even though he's worked all through the pandemic. And I'm sure glad that CMM got his booster shot two weeks ago.
