Rebuilding and renewal - 5

[AndrewP]

Happy dance! Got a modest raise. And a "pep talk".

It's pretty much agreed between my boss and I that I am technically overpaid for the role that I am currently doing but given that there is a chance I'll be pulled back in to corporate and that he envisions an even broader role for me than what I'm doing, it could be considered to be more or less in line.

I'm glad that salaries are confidential - a lot of people would be getting their noses out of joint otherwise.

The "pep talk" was basically around how I need to do better and make less mistakes. Something we both agree on. To do that means being able to build the broader vision of what is going on with the plant, our customers, our partners and not just for the immediate day, but looking out to the longer term.

It's tough though. Things change so quickly and unexpectedly and it's hard to keep track of the bouncing balls. I get roughly 350 emails a day - most of which I can ignore but many of which need to add to the collective knowledge of the flow of the business. And of course things keep flowing even when I take my eyes off to try to achieve something.

We both agree that progress has been made. It's only been a number of months - I honestly don't recall how long - so just need to keep plugging away. And part of my confidence is not only that I know I'm capable of this, but also that given the number of people who have cycled through these different roles I'm doing and given up, I think starting over again to train someone if I packed it in, isn't an option for him.

And he's a decent guy who truly cares about his staff - and one of those micromanagers who double-checks and second guesses everything.

I recall years ago I had a client who was running a small courier company. I remember the dispatchers as tightly wound individuals who - in those days before a lot of computerization - hold in their heads where every driver, every pickup, every exception was. In many ways that's what I'm needing to do. Part of my challenge will be doing that and staying sane.

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On a semi-positive note, since I negotiated a fixed alimony amount, I get to keep all of this raise, less of course what gets taxed away. When I started paying alimony, since it's tax deductible for me, I actually dropped a couple of tax brackets and nearly a third of my payments is "covered" by my tax savings.

In other news, I have my appointment booked for my second vaccination! Coincidentally with that, "C" reached out to me about something we have a common interest in. I suggested that soon we might be able to find a patio and visit and catch up which will be nice.

[kml]

Yay for the vaccine!!!! (For a minute I thought you said you had made an appointment for a vacation lol).

And the raise! Good job. I still think this is a job for AI. Other plants can't all be run this way.

[AndrewP]

I still think this is a job for AI. Other plants can't all be run this way.

LOL - Yes - in fact they do. Even the bigger ones.

I still remember being called by a supplier congratulating me that they were able to ship some product I ordered early. Turns out they messed up and accidentally sent the load out 3 days early and the truck was already 2 hours on it's way. I had to have them turn the truck around because my tank wasn't prepped for the load and wouldn't be for another 2 days. This doesn't account for trucks breaking down, our plant had a power failure last night that dumped all the product from one tank into another, heck - bad traffic can mess up the entire day when a driver shows up an hour late for their appointment and I already have someone else under the rack.

I also had to juggle around loads today because one carrier's regular driver was off and the replacement driver was only rated for about 10 tonnes less on his trailer, deal with the fact that a customer returned about 18 tonnes of product in about 500 containers that we need to put "somewhere" while we figure out what to do - blah de blah de blah de blah

You'd think that the railways would be "smart" too - but while they have slick websites that - generally - work well, I had to spend time on the phone yesterday assuring them that the railcar they thought was in the serving yard was in fact on the track right outside my window. One (of many) of today's struggles was that the railway didn't deliver a car to a spot that their system thought was open, looking out my window I could see it was open, but then someone decided that the car couldn't fit. I now have a probably $500 bill that I need to dispute.

As an aside, barcoding was originally designed to assist in tracking railcars and yes - looking out the window is still a more reliable system.

I have lots of stories - and sadly nobody to bore the pants off with them. Heck, these days I'd even accept someone listening and being both bored and fully clothed. The cat does not care it turns out And if it was the right person removing those pants, perhaps that would at least for a short while stop the stories

[Traveler]

Andrew, I love your stories about rail cars, keep telling them.

My "very scientific approach to dating"--lol. I knew you'd get it. I'm an engineer at heart too, so for me it's completely natural to say "1st date type X generates Y% of 2nd dates.." I'm taking a pause, but I'll be eager to hear when your own dating heats up. I believe us guys face at least some different challenges when we date.

I've programmed AI that made sense of massive databases before. Your environment certainly has some challenges. First, if "eyes" are better at telling where railcars are than the online system, the online system may need more, better, or human sensors. An AI would only know what the online database knows. Second, there are exceptions--shipments sent early, drivers rates for 10 tons less, and products not packaged ideally upon return. It's hard to imagine $45-90K--with a domain expert's input--couldn't fund creating an AI that compares well with humans.

[AndrewP]

CW - I'm a mathematician by training and a storyteller by inclination. My kids used to tell me that I'd be a great history teacher because I get so animated by the subject - it's all stories.

And for those who are bored with my stories, feel free to meander along ....

I think you put your finger on things about whether AI could help or not. It boils down to the size of the dataset involved. A few years ago I was helping a friend who was teaching a course in machine learning at UCLA - I was their practice student. The amount of data that needs to be fed into such a system is enormous and there also needs to be some "training data" involved so that the AI can spot the patterns. I remember years ago when GM first put in the robotic paint stations. They trained them by attaching sensors on to the arms of the best human painters and then just copied that.

One thing about my industry is how "big" everything is. Yes, AI can assist with control systems because there is a volume of data involved. Human supervision is still required to deal with the unexpected. Right now the plant produces about 210 tonnes of product a day split between 6 basic product lines - we just turn a valve to adjust concentration or inputs (much more complex than that). That sounds like a lot, but a tanker truck holds roughly 30 tonnes maximum and a railcar can take about 90 tonnes (based on specific gravity and volume in the barrel of the container) - so really only about 8-10 orders a day. Not a large data set.

On the other hand, it takes me a minimum of 4 minutes to roughly 8 minutes to assemble together the paperwork for each load. Again, doesn't sound like much but that doesn't include checking tank levels, doing math on load sizes, looking up lab results etc so to do the paperwork each day takes close to 2 hours. Each customer has their own requirements which right now I need to read because I don't have the experience yet to "know". There are other complexities such as finding a truck and trailer available to get the load to the customer when and how they want it (which someone else does - I deal with the loading side for logistics). With such - probably un-necessary - complexity but such a small dataset, planning and organizing this really is beyond the capability of pretty much any AI I could imagine. Personally I believe that the best "system" in the world is a guy with a clipboard and pen who is paying attention - the bow tie is optional but the hard hat, safety glasses and safety shoes are not.

To illustrate, this morning I got a call from the plant about a broken weld on a railcar. I had no clue what to do and neither would an AI. That took about an hour of my time to figure out and deal with the various parties involved to make sure we can safely get the repairs done but still ship out what we want to. Adding on that my boss is also working today (he's on a week's vacation so not a good role model) and he wants us to increase production and get some extra loads out today that weren't on the plan yesterday afternoon.

I was thinking back and my role only expanded into it's current size about 5 months ago - I think I'm actually doing pretty good based on that and the fact that I'm being compared to people who have been doing it for 30+ years is what I like to call a "stretch goal".

Despite it technically being a holiday today I'm working albeit at a lower speed which is why I can natter on here.

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I'm not sure how, when or even if I'll step back in to dating. I have a tentative "date" with my friend "C" who I went on a few dates with a few years ago. It's waiting until things open up a bit more and we are both fully vaccinated which will be soon. At the time I felt that she was actively chasing after me but she was also in the midst of a rather nasty divorce. She really didn't have the bandwidth to date and after a bit of effort things just fizzled out. We stayed in touch though. She was apparently shocked when she found out I was dating someone but very positive and congratulatory. We were chatting via text about something else I think around Christmas and that's when she found out I was single again which I think raised numerous questions in her mind and a couple of months later she suggested we go for a hike or visit on a patio which had to get shelved when we went back into lockdown.

I'm going into this with no expectations and even a touch of reluctance - but looking forward to catching up with a friend.

When I did go through the dating thing, in some ways like you I was fairly formulaic as well. First date - coffee or something easy to pull the plug on - end with a hug. Second date, something more ambitious, a walk on a trail or going to a flea market - end with a kiss on the cheek. Text good mornings, check to see how the day was going and text good night.

Counting "C" - which many here didn't consider as even dating - I've dated 4 women post divorce. Of those 2 ended up quickly turning into serious relationships because the woman enthusiastically "leapt on board" as it were. Certainly they ratcheted up the physical affection and words quickly - by the end of the second or third date in fact. Which, from reading here, talking to others, and my own memories of 30+ years ago seemed "normal" that there would be some poontang or close facsimile fairly quickly. And for me, that is not something I am capable of doing casually. Just not in my moral code.

Of the other two, one was a "nope" although she was an old friend that I'd known for many years - there was just no "warmth" to her despite her being smart and kind and a really decent person and the other was "C" who as I say - we just drifted in our own directions. And "C" has her own set of yellow and reddish flags or at least did back then in the midst of her divorce. She really seems to have bloomed and come into her own and formed stronger relationships with her now (mostly) adult kids since then. Or at least that's the outside perception. Certainly an 18 year and 20 year old are different than a 15 and 17 year old mid-acrimonious divorce.

I think that in any future interactions with the fairer sex that I'll be moving a lot slower and doing my best to dodge if the other side is moving faster than I'm comfortable with. I don't "need" anyone in my life and certainly don't want anyone who will take more than they could offer which has been my experience thus far.

As far as looking further afield as it where and actively searching and doing the OLD thing - just not interested at this point. I still think that "S" did quite the number on me in terms of my ability to trust and believe in people.

[DonH]

Yay for the vaccine!!!! (For a minute I thought you said you had made an appointment for a vacation lol).

Ha!!!! I was STILL thinking Andrew had made plans for a vacation until I read you’re response! I figured it was just a different/fun way of saying he had plans to take a trip but no details yet. I’ve seen Mime posts that do the same but was not fooled by those “everyone should be forced to receive a vacation”.

Anyhow glad you’re in line. They keep upping the anti here to coax or incentivize folks to get their shot. The largest I’ve seen so far is a $50 store credit… to get free healthcare, well okay a free vaccine. Just amazing how much things have changed in the last 18 months. Paid to get healthcare. Meanwhile I’m still paying over a grand a month just in case I might need healthcare. Lol

Now go book an appointment for your next vacation!!!

[Traveler]

Of those 2 ended up quickly turning into serious relationships because the woman enthusiastically "leapt on board" as it were. Certainly they ratcheted up the physical affection and words quickly - by the end of the second or third date in fact. Which, from reading here, talking to others, and my own memories of 30+ years ago seemed "normal" that there would be some poontang or close facsimile fairly quickly. And for me, that is not something I am capable of doing casually. Just not in my moral code. I'll be moving a lot slower and doing my best to dodge if the other side is moving faster than I'm comfortable with.

Ha--so I'm not the only guy who doesn't want sex on a 3rd date!! For me, it's not that I feel I've done anything morally wrong, it's that I feel attached after sex and that makes me feel vulnerable when I barely know someone. As you say, sex also usually "seals the deal"--you're more or less exclusive afterwards. I guess, based on my experiences with Ms DoGooder and Ms TallChemist, I'm more of a 5th date guy. The "righteous" path would be to not cave in too early out of fear of hurting them or losing a good prospect. It's probably optimal to make a little progress on each date, so they know you're interested and you're seeking more. (:

I don't "need" anyone in my life and certainly don't want anyone who will take more than they could offer which has been my experience thus far.

I believe this about myself 80% of the time. You got a raise (p.s. - Congratulations! Well deserved from all we read here. It shows your boss values all your effort and you are competing well against those 30-years-in-the-field types.) I'd probably tell my friends who I see every week or two. I talk to Ms T.C. every day or two. It would feel different to tell her because she more intimately knows my struggles and challenges. I do not want to go to my grave without having sex again so maybe I do "need" someone, although I'm okay if I don't meet them in 2021! As you say, anyone we add to our lives needs to add more than they take.

I have a tentative "date" with my friend "C" who I went on a few dates with a few years ago.
At the time I felt that she was actively chasing after me but she was also in the midst of a rather nasty divorce. We were chatting via text about something else I think around Christmas and that's when she found out I was single again which I think raised numerous questions in her mind and a couple of months later she suggested we go for a hike or visit on a patio which had to get shelved when we went back into lockdown. She really seems to have bloomed and come into her own and formed stronger relationships with her now (mostly) adult kids since then.

Exciting! C's interest and yours were strong enough to keep chatting, and she's in better shape now, and she's proposing a date. You may not even need OLD. I hope the date happens soon. Good stuff, Andrew.

[AndrewP]

A bit of tea-pot philosophy this warm and sunny morning.

I had my second Covid shot on Friday and it doesn't seem to have affected me. I do suspect that my leg infection is coming back though so will need to get that looked at I suppose. I started seeing some more red patches last week. I may pop in to the local clinic to see if I can get someone to look at it this afternoon after I get the Sunday morning stuff done for the plant. I had a reluctant early start when the plant got in touch with me to let me know that a driver was an hour late for their appointment. By the time I realized that I could not get in touch with anyone on a Sunday morning, they had pulled in. Not so much of an issue today and I did see that the one other appointment we had on that side of the plant this morning was able to pull in without an issue - or so I hope.

It was supposed to be rainy today so I hustled my butt and got all of the outside weekend work done yesterday. 3 loads of laundry on the line, transplanted some plants, cut the grass - which was getting quite tall, weeded the flower bed etc.

Got some inside things done too - my - I think - 20 year old box spring had been making creaking noises so I rotated that when I did the monthly rotating of the mattress. Cleaned out some dust rhinos that had evolved as well. I figure that since it's just me on the bed, having the other side creak isn't an issue.

Had a nice soak in the tub after the grass cutting and then after dinner I sat out with some wine, a (properly contained) bonfire and watched the fireworks going off in the park behind me. Last summer someone started setting of some really nice displays pretty much every weekend in the park and it appears to be continuing.

Earlier, I heard the tell-tale sounds of swing-bowling - a sport that seems to only exist in my little village and a couple of the towns around. I'd always assumed it was a German thing (this area was settled by Germans - my Scottish ancestors settled about 20 miles to the north-west) but when my daughter moved she was astonished that nobody had ever heard of it.

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Overnight I had a repeat of a regular dream. My ex was in bed with me trying to charm me. This happens when I get lonely I know. I know very little about dreams but one thing I've noticed lately is that they seem to have layers. Since in my dream, I was sure I was dreaming, I tried to wake up - got through one "layer", she was still there and more real, pushed through some more and it was just me. I really can't imagine any way that I would be open to her coming back. Breaking into this house is laughably easy, especially in the summer when I have windows open for the night breezes to come in.

It brought to mind that infidelity or a "mid life crisis", while it appears to be an even with sudden onset and isolated from other circumstances, that it does build from little or nothing. My ex-wife had been a decent enough "Mom" and I think worked on having a "June Cleaver" facade even though it didn't fit at all. She was at best a reluctant and indifferent house-keeper and it was usually me that spent time with the kids and did things with them. In the years leading up to her affair though, as the kids moved out and our own lives settled into the march towards retirement and became progressively more comfortable, she would often go out for hours visiting with friends to "get out of the house". I wouldn't know where she was beyond "out with friends" - there was a core group of a half-dozen - and if they were local she would often drink with them in their back yards. Previously she rarely drank much. I was explicitly not invited even if other husbands were there and so would read or putter in my workshop. Towards the end there were a few occasions when I would have to talk over and pour her home.

I expect history to be repeating itself - but again, just pure speculation. The house she and OM share is about 1/2 the size of this place. They've been living together for about 3 years or so I think, first in her apartment over the liquor store and then about 2 years ago they bought this house. With her temper and lack of patience with others getting away from each other is probably a good idea. Given that OM had no issues with sleeping with at least one married woman, he could well find some way to occupy his time. Whether she would find alternate recreation is unknown. There's not a lot of "quality" targets out there and seduction for her was about power and control, not the horizontal mambo. This does tie to the fact that more and more I'm not seeing her car there or often both vehicles missing despite their "retirement". But - no way to know - I just send the cheque once a month.

Ah well - just rambly tea-pot philosophy. I will admit that the dream, even if I've had it several times before, disturbed me quite a lot. I know that when I was in a relationship that the dreams stopped. Not that there's any sign of that. The lady around the corner - who has been described as a "crazy psycho b..." - I suppose we can call her "P" for short, continues to get more and more friendly. She bought my lunch for me on Friday when she saw me going into the bake-shop. Her shop is across the street. We chatted for a while - which translates to her talking and me listening. As has been discussed before, I quite like her and there are things about her that I admire. The total package though does include more than enough crazy to keep things from going too far though.

A friend of mine pushes me to go chasing after young cats to keep my prostate and brain healthy - although he doesn't use the word "cat". I send him pictures of my cat in response. The cat is doing well - eating a bit better now that I have him back on his old food.

Well - tea pot is just about empty so time to seize the day. I have a loaf of bread rising that will be nice with dinner and I have my single-person roast to put into the slow cooker. I still have my ironing to do plus about 2 hours of work to do to prepare for Monday's loads. There a big stack of housework waiting for me too so it should be a busy day of puttering.

[AndrewP]

So - before kml and bttrfly get on my case ... the doctor at the clinic says that what is going on in my leg is not appearing to be a rash or infection or blood clot. 3 hours of waiting to find that out A blood sample will be checked just to be extra sure. His best guess was that I hit something.

Hopefully my loaf of bread will be fine sitting on the counter for that extra hour or two.

[kml]

Oh please keep your distance from the crazy psycho one!

I had dreams about my ex cheating on me and various other things for a long time - thankfully no more. Used to wake up with that put in my stomach. I think it really helps that his new wife was not one of his affair partners. All the limited news I hear from the kids about them is they seem to still be doing well in their relationship, which I’m glad for - I’m hoping she will care for him in his old age so my kids don’t have to. I’m actually hoping ex doesn’t cheat on her too.