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Ive had the luxury of having kids 90% of the time over the last year. This morning H collected them and i wont see them until Tuesday. It was bittersweet for them too, they want to go and see grandma, but want me to come too.
I must say i havent felt so overwhelmed for a while. Its funny how things happen all at the same time. Thenhouse went on the market yesterday, viewings today, i felt a little irritated as usual i have to deal with all of this whilst he is with the kids and ow. Maybe its best if all of this happens whilst the boys are away anyway and im hoping that we can have a conversation with him around future plans, the convo he has been avoiding for months. I have even set two dates and he just didnt show! On a positive note, i got a new job and managed to negotiate some more money, so i dont start at the bottom of the scale, which is great. Im feeling some frustrations, as things really arent moving in any direction at the moment and 14 months on i feel like they need to. Hoping now that the house is on the market we can start moving towards something, be it that it might be D.

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Gigi, sorry for the stress and anxiety. This too shall pass. Take some time to pamper yourself this weekend.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
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Boys came back Tuesday and we had a fantastic half term, they have been at home since. We had an offer on the house, but H is ignoring me, i said we need to discuss the house and that im free this evening, however i got silence. The estate agent will be chasing me tomorrow. Oh well ill just have to direct them to H. I mean i dont even want to sell the house anyway, so we need to have a conversation either way, as there is simply nothing on the market that im able to afford at the moment.

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Gigi, stay strong!


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Thank you, i certainly will need to, we are about to enter a period of some stormy conversations. He seems to now he on a war path, which is ridiculous, as not once have i do e anything to him, i just cracked on with my life.

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Originally Posted by Gigi123
Thank you, i certainly will need to, we are about to enter a period of some stormy conversations. He seems to now he on a war path, which is ridiculous, as not once have i do e anything to him, i just cracked on with my life.


Remember....his emotions are HIS emotions. You do not have ownership in them. Likewise, you shouldn't let his emotions dictate your emotions (detachment).

It is funny how WSs get angry when they get exactly what they said they wanted! We've seen it time and time again.


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I know Steve, you are so right, he just made me feel so unpleasant today, i actually kept it very cool and business like, but just felt like i was falling apart later on. And the boys are at his too tonight, which probably isnt a bad thing in all honesty. Im just feeling really sorry for myself i guess.

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I think i just need to vent, we are going round in circles, the aim was always to resolve everything amicably. So at this stage no solicitors involved, but we cannot agree on anything. H wants an easy out, as in split everything 50/50 forget about pensions and move on. He has not filed for D, i have called him out on that a couple of weeks ago, he said he hasnt got round to it yet (in 15 months!) he simply want to sell the house, split it 50/50 and be done, but he refuses to have any conversations with me about this. So yes of course, this is dragging on because unless we sot down and talk (he only wants phone conversations) we will not agree on anything. He expects me to just move out and sort out my own arrangement….he had a bit of a moan at me this morning because i apparently say too much to the children.
I have made it very clear that he has nothing to do with my conversations with the children, but i find it so frustrating that he still tries to control things in my life.
I have got legal advice and i know exactly what needs to happen and what my right are in terms of staying in the house and so on.

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Originally Posted by Gigi123
I think i just need to vent, we are going round in circles, the aim was always to resolve everything amicably. So at this stage no solicitors involved, but we cannot agree on anything. H wants an easy out, as in split everything 50/50 forget about pensions and move on. He has not filed for D, i have called him out on that a couple of weeks ago, he said he hasnt got round to it yet (in 15 months!) he simply want to sell the house, split it 50/50 and be done, but he refuses to have any conversations with me about this. So yes of course, this is dragging on because unless we sot down and talk (he only wants phone conversations) we will not agree on anything. He expects me to just move out and sort out my own arrangement….he had a bit of a moan at me this morning because i apparently say too much to the children.
I have made it very clear that he has nothing to do with my conversations with the children, but i find it so frustrating that he still tries to control things in my life.
I have got legal advice and i know exactly what needs to happen and what my right are in terms of staying in the house and so on.


If you were going to have surgery, wouldn't you want a trained surgeon involved? D is surgically separating two lives. You need someone that is professionally trained to help with that. I would hire a solicitor ASAP. Who cares what he wants? He is firing you as his wife, you have to make sure you are protected. I assume you haven't hired a solicitor because you do not want to upset him? You cannot nice him back.

D is a legal process, you need a legal expert to help.


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Getting that legal advice and knowing how things should go is huge for you. He is being erratic, and that is somewhat expected.

Just keep focusing on your life. If he wants a divorce, he can get a divorce. But you are right to point out the absurdity of not being able to for 15 months. That is a bit crazy.

I wonder about "sitting down to have a conversation" with him though. Is this going to work for you two after he finally comes back to Earth a little more?

I don't know how it works where you are, but I doubt moving out is a good idea at this point given you have children at home.

What are you doing for fun and GAL? Self-improvement and growth?


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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