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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Kids will always be my priority. And i need to make sure they are ok before i ever introduce anyone into their lives.
From what kids say OW is sort of present but doesnt interact much. That doesnt scream family to me and that it not a set up i would ever want when i have a relationship. I want the man in my life to be a friend to my children, someone they grow to respect and maybe even love. Not just someone who is just present in the same house. So yes you are right, id rather wait.

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Originally Posted by Gigi123
Kids will always be my priority. And i need to make sure they are ok before i ever introduce anyone into their lives.
From what kids say OW is sort of present but doesnt interact much. That doesnt scream family to me and that it not a set up i would ever want when i have a relationship. I want the man in my life to be a friend to my children, someone they grow to respect and maybe even love. Not just someone who is just present in the same house. So yes you are right, id rather wait.


I would try to make the OW NOT a topic of conversation with the kids.


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I never instigate these conversations, but occasionally they will mention her, i never shut them down, i personally feel like we should he able to talk about anything even if its uncomfortable for me.

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Originally Posted by Gigi123
I never instigate these conversations, but occasionally they will mention her, i never shut them down, i personally feel like we should he able to talk about anything even if its uncomfortable for me.


Ok.

Most LBSs want to know way too much about the OP. It is like chasing a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. It gets you no where, usually sets you back and keeps you more attached than detached. The OP is a symptom, not a cause. Most LBSs get that backwards thinking it was the OP that caused the PA. Not saying you do but that is usually why LBSs fixate to much on the OP.

I was not suggesting shutting your kids down. But a gentle topic changes at your earliest convenience would be in your best interest when the topic is brought up.


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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Absolutely agree, to be fair i have no way of knowing anything about her anyway, these are just subtle remarks from s7 like i have asked ow but she ignored my question, or she doesnt really say much at all etc. Never full blown convos, my kids are 5 and 7, so they move on from anything fairly quickly.

Ill be honest i wanted to know more at an early stage, but now, i come face to face with her probably weekly when i drop the kids off at Hs and i just take no notice of her, have a convo with h and kids and leave. She just stays out of my way, there is nothing she can do about me coming into their house, as H doesnt stop me either and as far as im concerned h and I are working towards a common goal, which is the comfort and stability of our children.

And from what H used to tell me about her (she is his administrator) well there isnt that much to know....

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Hi everyone

14 months on here, life is good. In working a lot and spending a lot of time with the kids. We are still at 2 nights with dad for both kids and third night just the one of them, so they are able to get 121 time with both of us. It works for me, i would obviously like to have the kids at home everyday and miss them dreadfully when they arent here, but tend to spend that time to get everything done, so when they are back home i could give them my time.
I cant say there are many changes. Its been over a month since we had the estate agents round to put the house on the market, i signed papers but house still not on the market, as he hasnt signed his.
H is taking the boys to see his mum for 4 days, it will be the first time i have to part with the kids for that long, so feeling a little sad about that.

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Gigi, good update. Always amazes me how does WAS/WSs are with moving things along. So many seem to be in a hurry until it actually comes to following through on their part.

Onward and upward!


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Yes your right, i can name so many occasions where he pushed for something to happen, but when it came to it either nothing happened or he dragged his feet.
First and last tome he mentioned divorce was last august! I said ok if thats what you need to do, do it. And not a word since. He is still living with OW, she will be going with them to the MIL, which is a little odd for me, as it means S5 will share a bed with H and her, as theres simply not enough space for all of them. But this is so out of my control, that i try not to think about it. On a positive note our communication in regards to the kids is really good, we have moved from txt to phone calls now, which seem to be much more effective in terms of logistical matters and just discussing general wellbeing of kids. We even attended a school meeting together in regards to S5. I dont know what life will bring going forward of course, at the moment im hoping that we are able to travel in August to see my family, as i havent seen them since last August!!

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Gigi, the only thing I don't like about going from texts to phone calls is no written trail of what is said and agreed to. Just be cognizant of that.


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I know what you mean Steve, if its something important, i confirm by txt after the call. We havent really discussed anything important for a while. The phone calls are more about, just to let you know i paid for the boys club or S7 woke up today with a sore throat, please read the book with him tonight. For some reason i get a better response by phone, although it was H who started calling me and not txt. I will often txt and he will return by phone call.
Anything important i prefer to discuss face to face anyway.

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