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Why does EW know about GF? This is turning into a soap opera!


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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Steve buddy only because you asked.

Originally Posted by Steve_
And how this is her first birthday trip in years that she had left happier and not wondering why she is with her partner.

So your GF had is a pretty bad picker too. Broken attracts broken Steve.
Originally Posted by Steve_
We discussed the potential for the incoming EW meltdown

Why? When I was dating a woman I would never discuss a potential meltdown from my ExW.
Originally Posted by Steve_
She told me she really wants to see me draw more healthy boundaries with my EW such as not helping her with anything and being there only for medical emergencies. She told me I am free to do whatever I want, and she will be patient and understand if there is a process but that is what she wants me to work toward.

So you can do whatever you want but this is what she wants. Passive aggressive
Originally Posted by Steve_
I told her that she was 100% correct. And that I have cut off everything except I did assist the EW with setting up her homework for her degree and helped her get started because I believed her getting an education and real job would be beneficial to the children.

Nope. Illusion of action. If I do X she will want me back.
Originally Posted by Steve_
GF agreed that it seemed like a good thing to do, and she understands that I try to be a patient and temperant person but she told me that my EW will use any small attachment to manipulate and wanted me to be aware of that.

Because you are easily manipulated and your EXW knows it.
Originally Posted by Steve_
She lamented, cried, and essentially said she hopes I break up with my GF because she is so jealous that I am happy.

Boy she sure is an amazing woman (insert LH eyeroll)
Originally Posted by Steve_
She also tried to deter me from continuing with my GF telling me "the kids will not like it, they are not going to like anyone but me, trust me I tried that with OM and it went badly, so dont get your hopes up to move on"

I think she may want to reconcile (insert LH eyeroll)
Originally Posted by Steve_
I stopped her there and said "listen, first off I dont need advice from you on my relationship, its going great and I am happy, second, over the last 3 months I have asked the children how they would feel if daddy moved on, went out with another woman, and I let them have an opinion on what I am doing.

So now you are trying to manipulate her and some how your kids are involved in GF convos after 3 months.
Originally Posted by Steve_
The kids even made a list of what they wanted for me to have from a different woman.

WTF?
Originally Posted by Steve_
They have not met my GF, its only been 4 months for us, we are thinking we need to wait a longer for things to calm down, and to be sure of our R before the children meet her.

Good! wait another year because this girl is a temporary filler in your life.
Originally Posted by Steve_
And yes the chilren are still super mad about you moving them out so quickly with OM, they had no choice. This time I have involved them in my life, let them voice how they feel, and they are excited and happy for me, they want to meet her but it isnt time.

LH shakes his head
Originally Posted by Steve_
I am not going to do what you did, its too detrimental." She scoffed and then I told her "Also, I will not be assisting you with your schooling, or anything if you do move, It is not appropriate to be involved in your life as a spouse would since I am no longer your spouse, and honestly it is disrepectful to my relationship.

Trying to control your EXW. Were you controlling in the marriage?
Originally Posted by Steve_
But if there is any medical emergency or custody issues I am here 100%. She just scoffed again and said "okay bye".

She really has no respect for you.
Originally Posted by Steve_
Had an amazing morning, I have to admit that ever since I have really let god take over my life and began minimizing contact with the EW things have gotten so good for me and so effortless. I work, pay my bills and have great quality time with my kids.

You guys talk more then some married couples.
Originally Posted by Steve_
Cleaned up my diet and still making progress in the gym, I just bagged up all my XXL shirts and am going to donate them. Im between a L and XL now. I applied for some more state jobs today and a couple nursing jobs with Kaiser Permanente (its an amazing employer for nurses) so im really looking forward to that.

I wish you would have posted this part only. Good job Steve!
Originally Posted by Steve_
I got a letter from the attorneys office today letting me know that everything was accepted by the court the default judgment was accepted a month ago and he will be sending me the final paperwork shortly so I can have my dissolusion on hand.

Great!
Originally Posted by Steve_
My MIL called me up and asked If i could help her file her EDD for her unemployment, I knew something was wrong because she never calls me. She was in tears. Turns out she wanted to inform me that she would never throw the kids out of the home that way, the EW was lying, they planned on renting the home to her and she is pissed off at her whole family right now and refuses to go home or talk to anyone.

I am sorry to hear EX MIL but this is no longer my concern.
Originally Posted by Steve_
She essentially got caught on camera at her MIL's home bringing over OM she left me for (that she allegedly broke up with 2x now) when they were not around.

What is she 16?
Originally Posted by Steve_
Funny, her OM caught on about the new millionare OM and told her to decide. Current OM actually called her new celebrity OM and told him WTF buddy.... then he left her in the hotel room and dumped her. Now she is essentially using the celebrity OM to get her apartment here in town (per her mom). I cannot help but laugh so so hard. She leaves me for OM, he leaves his wife, loses everything, OM's EW even filed a restraining order on him and he lost his kids, and my EW is messing around on him with a friend of his that is a celebrity..... Karma.... just ... Karma.

You really think she is going to make her way back to you don't you.
Originally Posted by Steve_
My IL's my children, all my friends and everyone in my life is so excited for me, so happy and so thankful I am out of that M.

So why aren't you? You must thrive on chaos.
Originally Posted by Steve_
Every day I wake up on my couch or in my bed and I am greatful that god took me out of that, that my only worry in the world is taking care of my kids and finding a great career now and growing my finances.

Did God take you out of it or did she remove you from it?
Originally Posted by Steve_
I walk with caution, I keep my eyes open, I believe nothing the EW says or does, and I expect the games to continue, but I actually just laugh about it, because I know for a fact I will be 100% okay.

Will you? I am not so sure.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
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New Thread:

Steve_Moving on

Last edited by job; 07/09/21 07:46 PM. Reason: added link to new thread

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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