Oops...sorry about that last part.....I meant to move to my own page and do the entry about Sparky and got sidetracked by a phone call. LOL Didn't mean to hijack you for my own personal story.
More interesting than me playing with my trains
Hope Sparky "sparkles" at his interview. The situation reminds me of when Google started up plus another few tech companies. They intentionally hired in a cadre of experienced people even in upper management so that they would have some "adults" on board.
PS - Monty was very good at the vet and doesn't seem to blame me for all the poking and jabbing.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Happy Saturday from sunny Upper Lower Middle Kanukistan! First t-shirt day of the year for me and first day to hang my laundry out. I'm taking advantage of that to wash my quilt and other blankets as I prefer to hang them outside to dry. After work yesterday I took the opportunity to take down my storm windows - a task I dread as I am afraid of heights.
As a safety measure I messaged my daughter in Seattle a picture of the ladder and then later when I was back down. Even though she's across the country, she would have been able to rally the troops if she'd seen that Dad was going up on that rickety old ladder and not heard from again. I do worry at times with living alone on how I would be able to get help if I needed it. I'm not sure what my daughter would do, but she could certainly call her uncles or heck, even her mother. Despite the divorce I think that she would come to check if there was an emergency. I certainly couldn't count her her to take care of me if I were ill, but identifying the corpse at the bottom of the ladder and even possibly looking after Monty are things I would believe she would do. I know that my son would come over in an instant and do whatever was needed but I also know that he rarely answers his phone or reads text messages.
I may well be wrong, but despite what happened I would like to think that my ex-wife is a basically decent person who made what I and a few others think of as an inexplicable choice. She certainly is a force of nature when on a mission.
Since I have zero visibility into her life beyond seeing her car parked in front of her house when I take that street as my usual shortcut "in to town", I have to presume that she has an outwardly happy existence. But I also remember the years of her raging every day when I would get home from work about all sorts of things - but never me. She and OM live in a tiny little house with presumably little room to get away from each other, one of the things she liked about this big house. He also doesn't have a literal life-time of dealing with her and her moods. But he's stuck it out somehow as has she so good for them I suppose.
Speaking of Monty, he did well at his vet appointment. Without past records, the vet had to go by guess on some things so he's been re-vaccinated and I also had a microchip implanted. They did find some flea dirt on him but no actual fleas so I'll pick up some flea treatment today if I can and dose the places where he's been hanging out. He still spends a lot of time behind the couch which probably feels safe to him in this big empty house. It also turns out that he has a minor heart murmur which the vet was explaining carefully to me as something to watch and not be too concerned about when I laughed - another thing we have in common. I have 2 leaky valves myself. We're quite the pair.
I do have pretty much all the windows in the house open on such a lovely day and not at all to my surprise, Monty is currently sitting on my desk across the lab results I need to consult for today's loads with his tail whacking my hands as I try to type. He's learning the boundaries of what is comfortable for both of us which occasionally causes discomfort. He still has to learn which of the buttons on my desk calculator to not lay on as when it starts printing on the paper tape it's rather startling to us both. One good thing that he's done is that I now make an effort to actually spend time "with" him more. Last night we watched Pirates of Penzance. I didn't attempt to sing the Major General song this time. Linda Ronstadt has a just amazing voice and range. Kind of a cheezy musical but I like it and usually pull it out once a year or so. Monty didn't seem very interested and never once attempted to sing along although he did purr musically. His purr has a little chirping sound in it.
As time progresses, the feelings of being lonely are coming back. The current lockdown / stay at home order certainly doesn't help that. While it would be nice to wake up to a warm body next to me, right now I can't imagine going through the process of dating and adapting to someone else. Even if the Blue Fairy were to come down and whack me with her "make it all better" wand and skip all of that, I lack the ability to imagine what that sort of life would look like. A positive thing in that I have no preconceptions any more but certainly a barrier to opening myself up to that again. I'm pretty sure that there are indeed women out there who would make a decent partner but I'm not in a place right now even without the lockdown to actively do anything about it. Passively perhaps, but not actively. I was joking on another forum that perhaps instead of online dating that just crashing your grocery cart into an eligable looking man was a good strategy for a woman. Speaking of other forums, as has been discussed before, many do make it easier to have private conversations. I had a woman on that forum reach out, she knew some random bits of trivia about me and I had to think hard before I responded. I think the fact that I live some distance away dropped her interest. I noticed she was active on a related dating forum. One other person who reached out in the same venue was active in a herpes forum so - as they say YMMV.
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My health seems to be up and down a bit probably due to stress. I'm working harder on getting a decent amount of sleep but it's hard. I also seem to have messed up my one shoulder. When S was here there was a particular way she liked us to sleep that put some pressure on it and over time it developed a dull ache - chicken or egg question - "Correlation does not imply causation". When I fell at the end of January it was this shoulder that was hurt along with the opposite knee. It got a bit better but when carrying my tires back and forth to the car it pained again. So I'm being careful with it. In what reading I've done, it's probably just something related to age plus perhaps that injury and there's not a lot that can be done. Right now it limits certain movements but not in a serious way.
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Work is going to continue busy but I think that I have turned a bit of a corner. The operations manager had been obstructionist but I think realized in the last couple of days the amount of effort that I've been putting in which I think is well and above what he thinks is reasonable. I think I've also learned something important about him, that his literacy skills aren't perhaps as high as I might expect. He rarely responds to emails and when he does, it's very terse and reluctant. Just something to balance in the equation.
I think he's had a talk to my boss about what's all been dumped on me and my boss has reached out and offered more guidance - which is badly needed. I've made some mistakes that should have been caught and I certainly have no issues with being better informed and guided. As I've joked with him for a long time, I like having "training wheels". Like with teaching a kid to ride a bike, the key thing is to provide the perception of a safe environment and keeping me between the lines as I learn all the ins and outs. There are those who think that roles like these could be automated but the number of times and ways I have to dodge and adapt in a day precludes that.
A good example is a couple of days ago when we had a power failure. Imagine if you will an entire (smallish) chemical plant closing itself down with all the safety features snapping into place. And then starting it back up. Suddenly product I'd had plans for changed quality or just plain became unavailable. As I will regularly say "drop back 5 and punt".
I do think that my boss is under considerable stress right now and training me and watching me wobble even with training wheels is difficult. We are also having quite a few issues related to sales, infrastructure, suppliers. Not unique to us though at all. He emailed me this morning because one of our tanks was empty that he thought should be full. Trucking problems I advised him, the tank will be filled up next Thursday. Something he's dealing with on the parts he still manages. Given my years in this industry albeit in different roles, I have quite a lot of friends and acquaintances now scattered across various companies so I tend to hear the gossip fairly quickly. One of our biggest customers just closed 2 of their locations and has also downsized their sales staff significantly, letting go of numerous top performers. From the rumour mill, I know that the tanks at one of the sites are being relocated to one of the sites still open and passed that gossip along as that impacts us and is more or less public knowledge. You can't shift one of these big tanks quietly.
One of the things that my boss likes I think is that I have poor work/life boundaries. As I mentioned, I was also working this morning. We have 4 loads that will probably go out this weekend and part of my role is checking tank levels, recording our production yadda yadda yadda. Others, including the operations manager like to have a more solid boundary which I certainly can appreciate. However in my past roles, I've always been needed to pitch in after hours or on weekends so I have a "lot" of experience with this sort of expectation and can't really imagine what it would be like to not be available or keeping half an eye on things even when off. An issue perhaps for future relationships I'm sure.
The guys seem to like working with me - open about being new and I always look for opportunities to notice them doing something positive. A young lad who happens to be from this area is supposed to be my main contact among the loaders during the day shift. I think he was uncertain about it, but he called me looking for some information and I made a point of thanking him for being proactive - and also passed that on to his actual boss. Another loader called questioning some paperwork and had done things differently than I had set out. His way was better and I made a point of telling him so.
I know that the guy I've been working closely with in the other side of the plant has liked working with me. Again, find when they do things right and notice. Listen to and respect their experience and skills. There was a minor spill because of some faulty containers, he told me right away and I think was pleased that I chased after it with the container manufacturer and made sure we got satisfaction. And I think he appreciated how hard I laughed at how he identified the faulty containers. He spray-painted them with "hole" and a big arrow and circle identifying the tiny hold in the bottom quadrant of the container. Exactly the right thing to do. We recycle the drums, sending them off to be cleaned and tested when they come back from the customer. These drums will never go into service again.
One of the advantages of being on good terms with the guys is that when I ask for something extra, they pretty much always deliver. Because in part of some of the communication issues I've been having with the operations manager, some product I needed to satisfy an order wasn't being made available. Suddenly it did on Friday afternoon. But the trailer I needed was already under the rack to be loaded, so frantic phone call to the control room letting them know that the plans may be changing, call to the trucking company to see if they could divert this load and then to the packaging department to see if they would be able to fill. Everybody stepped up cheerfully. I felt bad because the packager needed to stay late but he also knows that I'm more than open to him leaving early if the schedule permits and that it was an "ask" and not a "demand". I now have access to the cameras and actually spotted that he stayed even some extra time finishing up the jobs he had to set aside for the rush order that certainly could have waited until Monday.
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On another work related topic, there's a possibility that I might be shifted back to corporate. A major project that was supposed to have made my previous role redundant is going nowhere fast and senior management is taking an active interest. It's being pitched by some that I take over that project which is well within my skill sets. It would be a multi-year endeavour and a lot of work. I've managed similar projects to success with this company before though so they know it can be done. They chose someone else to manage it because he had a better relationship to the owner and promised quick fixes and return on investment. He doesn't ascribe to my philosophy of "you can have it fast, cheap or right - pick 2".
Ah well - enough Saturday morning philosophy. Even Monty has gotten bored and wandered away. I have the last blanket to hang on the line then in to "town" to do some minimal grocery shopping. I hope to get my hands dirty in the flower beds today and may consider having a bit of a fire in the back-garden with a frosty beverage and watch the stars later.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Remind me to tell you sometime the story of my uncle who fell off the roof and died while his wife was at the hardware store getting whatever item it was he needed. He had no business being in the roof at his age and I’m thinking you have no business taking those storm windows down yourself. Please be careful!
As to our spouses - wherever they go, there they are. They didn’t get a personality transplant. My ex’s life looks aces from the outside - beach duplex, cute younger wife, pre-Covid travel adventures. But I know his essential unhappiness is finding flaws (in his life and probably her by now), feeling bitterness (my ex gets part of my pension! People in my neighborhood have trust funds! ) and that his underlying depression is still probably untreated.
We may still not have reached our destinations, but we have the tools to find a happier life. (And yeah, your ex probably misses that big old house now, especially with the lockdowns! )
Along those same lines, I had just been thinking earlier this morning about retirement. I’m happy and grateful that I will likely be able to retire with little change in lifestyle - sure, I’ll need to continue to be frugal, especially if I want to travel, but I won’t worry about food shelter or clothing in retirement. And it occurred to me that my ex (with a much larger retirement income) is probably experiencing just the opposite - angry that he’ll have to stick to a budget, that he can’t do anything he wants, that he doesn’t have as much money as some others do. Even though he has a lot!!! With almost $10k a month pension, a million dollars in a retirement account, and rental income that helps pay the mortgage on his duplex and will eventually be an additional source of income. Plus he will get the maximum social security benefit when he is old enough to collect that. Yet I can almost guarantee he sees that glass as half empty instead of overflowing.
As a safety measure I messaged my daughter in Seattle a picture of the ladder and then later when I was back down. Even though she's across the country, she would have been able to rally the troops if she'd seen that Dad was going up on that rickety old ladder and not heard from again. I do worry at times with living alone on how I would be able to get help if I needed it.
Yes. Heart attack. Stroke. Whatever--we're more likely to die sooner. This was my deepest fear a couple of years ago when my ex moved out, but Death comes for us no matter what. I suspect losing 50# and having taken a Wilderness First Aid class does more for my longevity than having an untrained person in my house. When I'm anywhere particularly dangerous, I carry a Personal Locator Beacon (~$200) I can use to call for help. I also do like you and tell someone my plans. "I'm on the summit and should be to you by 8pm." That way, maybe by 10pm they get curious and call a ranger. "Hmm.. he said he'd be here at 8pm and it's 10pm." Maybe not. (:
Originally Posted by Andrew
As time progresses, the feelings of being lonely are coming back. The current lockdown / stay at home order certainly doesn't help that. While it would be nice to wake up to a warm body next to me, right now I can't imagine going through the process of dating and adapting to someone else. Even if the Blue Fairy were to come down and whack me with her "make it all better" wand and skip all of that, I lack the ability to imagine what that sort of life would look like. A positive thing in that I have no preconceptions any more but certainly a barrier to opening myself up to that again. I'm pretty sure that there are indeed women out there who would make a decent partner
There are so many ways it *could* look. If we date someone younger, likely it means raising a new family. If we date someone older, it's likely they've accepted and mostly raised their kids. With the older comes experience at everything from hobbies to maintaining a home and finances, to the bedroom. With the younger comes freshness, enthusiasm, and new eyes. Then there are the in-betweens. That's what dating is for, to see how your lives might mix, the obvious and the surprises. Beyond dealbreakers and value-mismatches ("I don't want more kids"), we don't need to pre-plan it, it'll naturally become clear, and that's part of the fun of the journey ahead of us both.
My health seems to be up and down a bit probably due to stress. I'm working harder on getting a decent amount of sleep but it's hard. I also seem to have messed up my one shoulder. When S was here there was a particular way she liked us to sleep that put some pressure on it and over time it developed a dull ache - chicken or egg question - "Correlation does not imply causation". When I fell at the end of January it was this shoulder that was hurt along with the opposite knee. It got a bit better but when carrying my tires back and forth to the car it pained again. So I'm being careful with it. In what reading I've done, it's probably just something related to age plus perhaps that injury and there's not a lot that can be done. Right now it limits certain movements but not in a serious way.
I had/have a shoulder issue that sounds similar--got it or discovered it while trying to sleep. PT told me it'd never be 100% and Insurance covered only getting it to the point I could sit in a car and use a seat belt ("work & live"). A trainer helped get it to the point I could reach overhead, carry a backpack, and pull items out of it. I did like 6 motions for strength & mobility for about 2 months to achieve that. It still needs more work--40#+ packs do NOT feel good and I don't have "normal" mobility--but I was amazed how much was possible. Anyway, depending on $$$ available, it may be worth either seeing a doc or PT for an initial assessment (to my surprise my T-Spine was involved) or Googling exercises for shoulder pain. It should feel like something, but stop if pain or it aggravates the injury even with icing after.
Anyway, depending on $$$ available, it may be worth either seeing a doc or PT for an initial assessment (to my surprise my T-Spine was involved) or Googling exercises for shoulder pain. It should feel like something, but stop if pain or it aggravates the injury even with icing after.
Thanks - I'll maybe see if I can get a referral to a physical therapist. My regular medical clinic is trying to keep us all out unless we are actively dieing of something but that won't stop them from making a referral for me. I have pretty good medical coverage even beyond just being Canadian - which really only covers the very basics. It will probably have to wait until our current "stay at home order" expires in about a month.
Nice to hear that in some circumstances that this is something that can be mitigated.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Happy Wednesday all. Payday for me, alimony payment day for my ex-wife although she never "cashes" the payment until the legally stated 15th of the month. I'm not really sure why but suspect that she continues to try to do the "decent" thing even if the money is often available to her sometimes 2 or 3 days early. Knowing her and her knowledge of me I can certainly see her abiding by the letter of our agreement down the the last dot. Putting on my mind-reading turban for the first time in a long time, I do think that she has an amount of guilt that persists about destroying our family. Just like there are still days like right now where I feel sorry for her and the predicament that she is in but know that there's not a darned thing that can be done about other than accept it for what it is and move along. There are no tugs on the heart string, just sadness for someone who has lost so much even if it is her own darned fault. I too have lost a lot - the future I had been looking forward to among other things, navigating a path alone that was intended to be done hand in hand.
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To quote the ancient philosopher Hubert J Farnsworth "Good news everyone" - my daughter and her husband have bought a house! There seems to be a boom in Seattle of taking tiny little houses that are rather rundown, giving them a make-over and flipping them. Google streetview gives the opportunity to do an historical review of the property and there are some red flags about trees growing too close to the house etc. The interior has been stripped and redone, the overgrown trees are gone as are a number of what are perhaps interior load-bearing walls. It passed inspection
Given the current "stay at home" order, I'm unsurprisingly at home today instead of down at the plant. I do now have access to the cameras which is a bit of a help as I can see what's currently under the rack for loading. One of the cameras points inside the plant where I can see the guys wandering around and I've pulled that off my view. Just seems creepy and I don't need to know that except under very specific circumstances. I do need to pop down for a bit sometime this week and gather up some paperwork but I'm not sure when. I might go down this afternoon to be there after the day shift has gone home - not sure.
With the operations manager on vacation I'm doing a chunk of his job - hence my need to see what's going on. The guys have been incredibly supportive and helpful and I suspect that they like working with me more than him. I've found that the best way to communicate with my main contact there is actually texting despite being told to use emails. He's a young kid (anyone under 30 is a kid) and so is comfortable with texts. I found quickly that he doesn't see emails very quickly and a phone call would interrupt him when perhaps he shouldn't be interrupted as he's dealing with hazardous goods. Texts have a nice balance. He notices them right away and responds when it is safe to do so. I'm not sure how much of this will remain on my plate when the Operations manager gets back next week.
I've also found that the freight company I've been dealing with seems fairly happy too. They had been rather in a snit because there had been some mix-ups. I talk to them twice a day and go over the basic outline of the plans which never actually happen as laid out. I think the operations manager has been a bit confrontational with them in the past.
I think I'm getting a decent handle on rail. Last night the cars that I had requested moved around actually moved around as planned and in the right order as well. I've figured out what reports to look at to see what is just over the horizon as well.
I still think that there's a decent chance that I'll be pulled out of the plant and back to corporate and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I expect that a decision on that may be made within the next month if any decision is made at all.
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Monty is settling in. I'm pretty much convinced that he doesn't go on the counter or kitchen table much except when I'm in there and he wants attention. I'm pretty sure he understands that he's not allowed to do that now - but of course does it anyway but much less every day. I've been trying to reward him with pets and occasional treats for "not" doing bad things. The current struggle is that he loves to chew on things when he's with me and I'm working on him not chewing on things. I'm sure it's a play activity for him and a way to get my attention. Setting out what he's allowed and not allowed continues to be a challenge and I fully understand that he's a cat and will do whatever the heck he wants. He's smart though and we are both figuring things out.
It is work though - I've never been in a situation where there is just one cat in the house and they don't have a buddy to annoy. I have no interest in adding another cat though. I'm sure it's good for me that I need to care for another soul and make sure that I set aside time for them.
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Lockdown is tough on us here. I felt sad for the neighbour who runs the gift shop around the corner. She is anti-mask, anti-lockdown and is currently defying the orders with her shop open. I walked past the other day and saw her sitting just staring out the window of her empty shop at the empty street. I was also talking to one of the people who recently bought the village tavern and have opened it as a fish and chips shop - they are very worried too. They are doing take-out only business but it's not enough to pay the bills. Even though I fully support the public health measures in place, I can't help but feel bad for those who are truly suffering through this. Would I feel different if it were my own life savings and lively-hood at stake? Probably not but I can't forget that my perspective is of someone who has a job and paycheque.
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I texted my son yesterday evening suggesting he come over for dinner on Sunday - he and I are in each other's bubble. I suggested that I might make a crumble top rhubarb pie but he's going to bring a lemon pie using up some surplus ice cream cones for the crust. I'll make up either a pork loin roast or a meatloaf for dinner I think.
Yesterday I heard one of my neighbours cutting their grass for the first time this year - so the gauntlet is thrown down. I tuned my mower up on the weekend and sharpened the blade so I'm ready for the "my grass is cut before your's" regular competition. The peonies and other perennials are coming up nicely and the rhubarb in the garden is already about 6" high. Spring is indeed well under way. And before long I'll need to use up the rhubarb I have from last season to make room for this season's. Maybe a rhubarb sauce. There's a lot of vitamins and whatnot in rhubarb and if I keep the sugar down then it should be good. My weight is slowly going down now that I'm working harder on it at least.
Well - enough for now.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
There are no tugs on the heart string, just sadness for someone who has lost so much even if it is her own darned fault. I too have lost a lot - the future I had been looking forward to among other things, navigating a path alone that was intended to be done hand in hand.
That's how I feel abut my ex. Even though, by comparison, my ex landed in a good place (hot younger wife, beach duplex, retired at 60) - I know the truth. His relationships with our kids are rocky, his essential unhappiness hasn't been fixed, his glass is perennially half empty. Had he stayed in the marriage, our home would have been paid off by now, I would possibly have been able to help him avoid some of his health problems, our kids would likely be more stable. But then again, I don't think I would have been as happy with him as I can be now. I like not walking on eggshells around him. And even though my love life post-divorce has been - um - interesting? - I still would not want to go back. I guess I wish he could have been the kind of person to be satisfied with all we had, but he's not, and never really was. It's not the future I had envisioned for myself, but honestly, the reality of that future would have been different than the dream anyway.
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Maybe a rhubarb sauce. There's a lot of vitamins and whatnot in rhubarb and if I keep the sugar down then it should be good
Isn't sugar the only thing that makes rhubarb palatable????
Congratulations to your daughter and son-in-law on the purchase of a home. That's a big step for them and they will enjoy having their own place.
As for dear Monty, that boy needs a lot of attention. He's probably use to his previous owner talking to him all of the time. In time, he'll learn to dos and don'ts. Rewarding him when he does something good is a good way to train him. BTW, loved the video of him purring and showing you that he loves you. He truly has settled in.
Yes, mowing season is upon us once again. I noticed the lilacs are in full bloom already. Everything in my area is about a month ahead of schedule this year. The bugs are terrible this year.
If you are mowing, please take your time. If you get tired, stop. Also, please do not get up on that extension ladder unless you have someone there to hold it or in the area just in case something happens. I know you are use to doing things on your own, but there comes a time when you need to be more safety conscious.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
