Sorry, I know I owe you an update but nothing really significant to write about. Single (co)parenting and work have kept me busy. Perhaps some day I will have a reason to write up a better update, but none at the moment
Sorry, I know I owe you an update but nothing really significant to write about. Single (co)parenting and work have kept me busy. Perhaps some day I will have a reason to write up a better update, but none at the moment
So yesterday, she texts me asking if I'd like to have lunch with her. I decline, as I was out of town visiting family.
This morning, after dropping off the dogs, she texts me a link to make a covid vaccine appointment, saying she was able to get an appointment and was getting the vaccine soon. She tells me to keep refreshing the website if no appointments come up right away, because new appointments come up all the time. I don't respond.
And of course, last week we had the cupcake incident, which I never responded to.
Is this all just breadcrumbing? I should just ignore all of this, right? Ugh.
Wat I've been trying to say to you is if you try to talk to her about it, or feel it out, you will get no where. Why? Because likely she is toying with you and not really serious about trying to save the MR. The best way to test that is to SHOW her limbo is over by filing for D.
Last edited by SteveLW; 03/29/2104:14 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Wat I've been trying to say to you is if you try to talk to her about it, or feel it out, you will get no where. Why? Because likely she is toying with you and not really serious about trying to save the MR. The best way to test that is to SHOW her limbo is over by filing for D.
I know it's confusing when you get several different responses but I completely disagree with Steve. There is nothing wrong with having one more direct conversation before filing for D. She is either in or she is out. No in between.
Wat I've been trying to say to you is if you try to talk to her about it, or feel it out, you will get no where. Why? Because likely she is toying with you and not really serious about trying to save the MR. The best way to test that is to SHOW her limbo is over by filing for D.
I know it's confusing when you get several different responses but I completely disagree with Steve. There is nothing wrong with having one more direct conversation before filing for D. She is either in or she is out. No in between.
And I can tell you that there is a 99.999999% chance that when you do......that she will not deviate from what she has told you in the past. Your sitch, as LH say there is nothing wrong with it. It just will likely be a useless discussion to have.
Last edited by SteveLW; 03/29/2104:28 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Yeah I am definitely not saying it is going to turn out in your favor. You will have no regrets. You gave her freedom and space for a year and will give her one more opportunity to work on the marriage.
I can't stress this enough that anything other then a yes on her part you have to be prepared to file. If not do not have the talk and continue limbo land.
One deviation for me from what LH said: once the D is started....or even after the D is final, doesn't preclude Ring in the future. By then YOU may not want to, but so many LBSs see D as a finality. It doesn't have to be. It is merely a step in the process (to coin the phrase from AS, R2C, and many other of the longtime vets here!).
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I just posted on greenman's thread about discernment therapy, if you're interested in a mediated approach to one last conversation. I'd only do it if you're ready to end the limbo, though.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
