Its weird that once the D is final we will have absolutely no reason to interact any longer. I'm not saying that a good or bad thing ---- its just a weird fact. We had 10yr of being each others other half.
OH, so he is going to get rid of the dog?
KC, you have no reason to interact now. You continue to make excuses to keep interacting. In fact, the quote above is very very telling. You are dreading the day when you no longer have an excuse to interact with him. And that explains a lot of your behavior in regard to him.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Its weird that once the D is final we will have absolutely no reason to interact any longer. I'm not saying that a good or bad thing ---- its just a weird fact. We had 10yr of being each others other half.
OH, so he is going to get rid of the dog?
KC, you have no reason to interact now. You continue to make excuses to keep interacting. In fact, the quote above is very very telling. You are dreading the day when you no longer have an excuse to interact with him. And that explains a lot of your behavior in regard to him.
I think you misunderstood my tone... its not that I'm dreading it... I'm realizing it as a fact and it just seems so odd for someone who you knew for over a decade just disappears.
What I was more thinking about it is that he and his first XW have children so there will always be some sort of connection... interaction... updates.
We have no connection ropes so to speak.... literally disappearing to dust.
Again, this is more of realization/reflection than a concern.
Frankly, I don't think he will call or return with the dog. He was really an emotional state when we talked last Friday. I won't be contacting him... I'm tired of that emotional state... and I don't think he has it in himself to contact me anymore.
I sent all the finalized points that we discussed for the D to the atty. Now, just waiting for a document.
Its weird that once the D is final we will have absolutely no reason to interact any longer. I'm not saying that a good or bad thing ---- its just a weird fact. We had 10yr of being each others other half.
OH, so he is going to get rid of the dog?
KC, you have no reason to interact now. You continue to make excuses to keep interacting. In fact, the quote above is very very telling. You are dreading the day when you no longer have an excuse to interact with him. And that explains a lot of your behavior in regard to him.
I think you misunderstood my tone... its not that I'm dreading it... I'm realizing it as a fact and it just seems so odd for someone who you knew for over a decade just disappears.
What I was more thinking about it is that he and his first XW have children so there will always be some sort of connection... interaction... updates.
We have no connection ropes so to speak.... literally disappearing to dust.
Again, this is more of realization/reflection than a concern.
Frankly, I don't think he will call or return with the dog. He was really an emotional state when we talked last Friday. I won't be contacting him... I'm tired of that emotional state... and I don't think he has it in himself to contact me anymore.
I sent all the finalized points that we discussed for the D to the atty. Now, just waiting for a document.
I am not buying that he won't still come to you about the dog.
And what was he emotional about? What were the subject of the texts at 4am? And what was talked about on the phone call?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
KitCat, I’m curious too about his reason for calling. You said he was calling you from 4am to 3pm, escalated to threats you feared, and you respected his position. Frivolous? Legitimate business?
KitCat, I’m curious too about his reason for calling. You said he was calling you from 4am to 3pm, escalated to threats you feared, and you respected his position. Frivolous? Legitimate business?
He was texting me... I was NOT responding. I could tell he was feeling a bit trapped/emotionally on edge I guess. When I would not respond he ended up texting something like "don't you worry about, I will take care of it"
That is when I called him. He started playing games by not answering the phone... whatever. I texted and told him I was not ignoring him but I had been driving for 6hr. He answered when I called back.
I assume it had to do with the atty and the dissolution agreement.
He got kind of crappy like why didn't I email her today... I'm driving all day... well you could have done it before you started driving...
When he texted me earlier in the week I told him I was on vacation.
When we spoke about the terms of the dissolution I again said I was on vacation - oh, you're still on vacation? YES. I made it clear I would contact the atty when I was home next week.
I don't know if it was because I was on vacation??? He did this the last time I was out of town - contacted about the cell phone bill... contacted on Chrismas Eve could I pet sit puppy at the end of March... oh, you're not home yet??? The stupid part is that the timeshare info is in his name so that even though I've put in my address the mail still gets forwarded to him and he knows exactly when I'm out of town. ((FACEPALM)). Until its paid off the deed cannot be changed to my name only ---- it is what it is.
Either way I just ended the call with I needed a couple of days and we could talk later. I have not reached out since then and neither has he.
We have no connection ropes so to speak.... literally disappearing to dust.
This should happen to people who treat you as badly as your WAH treated you.
I hear you.
Keep in mind when we were married one could argue that there were times where I did not treat him as well as I should have either... that's a two way street we are navigating.
Granted... I'm not the one who is still currently lying and taking advantage of someone. I certainly don't think much of him right now but he is dealing with his own emotional demons so I'm staying on my side of the street.
Overall, its just unfortunate that 10yrs just didn't exist.
Keep in mind when we were married one could argue that there were times where I did not treat him as well as I should have either... that's a two way street we are navigating.
He seems to have no problem walking away from you erasing the last tens years.
Originally Posted by KitCat
Granted... I'm not the one who is still currently lying and taking advantage of someone.
He can't take advantage unless you allow it.
Originally Posted by KitCat
Overall, its just unfortunate that 10yrs just didn't exist.
It did exist. My guess is that it was good in the beginning and then got toxic and abusive in the end. Time to end the relationship.
I’m sure there were times you didn’t treat him as well as you should have.
But did you abuse him physically and emotionally and scare his child?
Not comparable at all unless you were actually abusive to him.
You hang on and answer calls because those abused are scared of the repercussions if they don’t .
You are still scared of him.
Oh, and why should he be forthcoming of what his plans are with OW? Why should he tell you the truth? That’s his life now and he doesn’t want to discuss that stuff with you. And you shouldn’t want to discuss it with him.
You last 10 years are not negated. They really happened, you were really married and you were really abused by him.
And going forward, you are no longer together and your future is independent of each other. No reason to discuss his future plans with OW or your future plans on your own. Your lives are now completely independent of eachother. Which I think is a fantastic thing for you, but you keep that connection going. And hopefully one day you can let it go.
I mean it was a good weekend. I'm pet sitting the puppy!!! So much fun to have the pooches together again. I've been busy. I cannot walk both dogs at the same time... so when one goes for a 3mi walk I turn around and do the other one a 3mil walk. I've walked 18mi in the last 4 days... TIRED!
Work is staying busy.
TODAY is just a ton of bricks weighing down my chest and its hard to breathe...
* I had a ceiling repair estimate done at the beginning of the year and had not heard back about a start date... turns out the guy no longer works there and they no longer have an office in my town.... TEARS....
* Working on tearing out carpeting through out the house but I live a lone and no one to help move furniture so kind of a pointless task.
* Picking out new carpet today and trying to get it scheduled but its a very slow process... feeling overwhelmed.
* Yeah STBXH is in HI for 2 weeks with OW... STINGS LIKE A B*TCH
* STBXH bday was yesterday... I know I'm not supposed to give a crap but its just a reminder that my bday is 6 days later
* Severe headache... heart palpatations...
* Of course I just want to reach out to someone I know I'm not supposed to (NOT STBXH) and ask for recommedations on a person for ceiling work... UGH....
