Just looked at myself in the mirror this morning and I am not liking the man I see looking back. My eyes look dead from behind I need to pull myself together and realise she ain't never coming back now all her stuff has gone?
Why would she want to anyway when you are such a mess. Need to focus on me and D fully now
Yesterday was painful, my focus had shifted back to the WW and I need to get it back to me and D Accept that life will not be the same again and start creating a new life.
I want to be the man I was 5 years ago happy and contented
Just looked at myself in the mirror this morning and I am not liking the man I see looking back. My eyes look dead from behind I need to pull myself together and realise she ain't never coming back now all her stuff has gone?
Why would she want to anyway when you are such a mess.
Change your mindset. This should read, "Why would I want her to come back when she's such a mess?"
In your above statement, you are blaming yourself and basically saying you aren't good enough for her. Your M will never work as long as you rank yourself lower than your wayward W.
I think your recent low feelings come from her blaming you for the letter, and now her parents are against you. BTW, did one of her parents actually talk about it to you, or are you going by whatever your WW said?
If you are a man of integrity, then hold your head high and stop acting guilty as sin.
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I want to be the man I was 5 years ago happy and contented
Mark, do you want it bad enough to make it a priority over your WW? If so, then tell us what you would need to do to become that man again. I think it's a great goal. Like any goal, it requires work. You can break it down into small steps that lead you to that goal.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
MIL told me about the letters asking for them to stop if i know who is sending them!
i was feeling very low over the last few days and then i start to look inwards! very difficult to GAL at the moment in the UK because every thing is shut! and we are unable to visit family that live in another town?
it was the sadness of all her stuff gone that triggered the low
i was one of the most laid back people that you could meet, calm and confident in my abilities, my WW before was a WAW and her stress/depression/MLC or what ever she has? has dragged me down.
i am being treated for depression by my doctor - caused by the Sitch and am in counselling for it also.
she has gone now and hopefully i can now work on myself without having to walk on eggshells with her.
WW has come to my house and moved all the stuff out today - feels kinda empty now was a little bit sad when i got home to see how empty her space is!
all clothes and shoes,cook books (wont be sad for them to go) i suppose no memories to hold back my recovery now and become who i want to be come again!
just been through my loft, WW has completely emptied all her stuff out of it! including the xmas tree and decs. everything seems so final now and i am feeling it. Very Sad and low? i was doing so well a week ago, now 3 steps back! before going forward again.
Do not suppress those emotions, feel them and get them out. Too many think that feeling sad is not something that they should feel. Feeling sad isn't the problem, letting in immobilize you is. So feel.....emote....move forward! You've got this, mark!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
So i managed to get my WW out of my head for nearly a week now, until she tries a new tactic? she has been texting our D and telling her about how she hasn't loved me for the last 2 years and would have left me anyway even if she hadn't had a PA
My D doesn't believe a word she is saying to her! My D says she is trying to play being the victim to gain support from her friends & family! WW is still telling the D she is in love with the PA and you will grow to love him too? D says never ever will she even speak to him.
i haven't physically seen her since Xmas day, i have had a couple of text's from her over a week ago about a couple of items she left in my loft But nothing else and i would like to keep it that way as i was getting quite good about not thinking about the sitch
When it comes to getting her out of your head, it gets easier every time. What she is telling your daughter doesn't matter much, it's standard stuff. She is trying to justify everything.
Believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see. Don't let anyone of it control how you live your life.
Tell her to stick to email for communication and then if she texts or calls about a non emergency you don't respond.
I hope England is treating you well.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
I've said it before - you are fortunate you have a child ( although not really a child any more ) who is old enough to make rational decissions.. Another thing - Your Daughter will have a more rational mind / make sounder decisions than an WW.. WW act on emotion, hence their reality and decisions are just crazy.
You have nothing to discuss with WW.. Let the solicitors handle the divorce / assets when it comes to it - protect yourself and your Daughter..As per above, WW make stupid emotionally fuelled decisions - Boob jobs, holidays, clothes etc.. - Protect you and your daughter !
As for the whole "last 2 years" thing - look up Monkey branching. and while you think about that, consider than Plan B scenario... Affairs rarely last. You are a solid plan B for WW ( and most WWs ) - Is this what you want ?
Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..
Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
Mark, if you don’t mind me asking, what were the circumstances that led your daughter to stay with you. How is she coping? Is she in IC? Obviously she is less than thrilled her mother has a PA, but how did she find out?
I am in a similar sitch and I have 2 daughters who don’t know about their mothers PA. It’s a real mess because D18 is applying to college and I could use some co parenting help from stbxw which I am not getting.
Mark, if you don’t mind me asking, what were the circumstances that led your daughter to stay with you. How is she coping? Is she in IC? Obviously she is less than thrilled her mother has a PA, but how did she find out?
I am in a similar sitch and I have 2 daughters who don’t know about their mothers PA. It’s a real mess because D18 is applying to college and I could use some co parenting help from stbxw which I am not getting.
My D was given the option to go with her M, but they have not got on for at least the last 2 years, constantly arguing -(i know normal teenager stuff) M told her about the PA on BD, although my D had picked up her M phone while she was in the shower and seen messages from the PA (she had been suspicious for a while) to be fair i don't think her M really wanted her as it would limit the time she could have with the PA, she is an absolute gem now her M has gone, although it does concern me how much she does know?
starting to enjoy this GALing had a really good week - been out in the glorious weather we have had in the UK walking and just generally talking to people while out ( 2 meters away) joined the website Restless and am talking to a few people from other parts of the UK online! Happiest i think i have been for at least the last 2 years? onwards and upwards from now on!
