Not sure what you mean by carry on? Your goal should be to end all R discussions as quickly as possible. So you listen, validate, then end the discussion. "I need to go take care of something." "I have some place I need to be." "I need to get back to what I was doing."
LH nailed it: KIS KEEP IT SIMPLE (I don't like using KISS because it can be insulting.)
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
If she does instigate a R talk which I think she may tonight, if she asks me a direct question like "what do you/we going to do" is it OK to answer directly or how do you play it?
Sorry for not explaining well, doing this on my phone at work... lol!
I think she will come to me tonight and ask "What are we going to do about our situation, we can't carry on like this?" Do I answer with what I feel, or do I validate in some way or ask her " what do you want to do?"
She is not big on the details, sees things in black and white and does not express her feelings, so it will be a direct question.
W: What are we going to do about our situation, we can't carry on like this G: I agree we can't carry on like this W: Well what do you want to do G: I want to work on the marriage W: Well I don't G: I understand W: Will you be moving out G: No I will not be leaving the house and the children
If she does instigate a R talk which I think she may tonight, if she asks me a direct question like "what do you/we going to do" is it OK to answer directly or how do you play it?
"I have a lot to consider and to process, I'll think about it and get back to you."
You can push the answer off into the future.
Do not agree to timing. It could take you 1 minute to consider and process. Or 1 year. You do not owe her an answer in her timing.
Last edited by Steve85; 02/05/2106:36 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
