Quick journaling because something happened last night which I think isn't good for me at all. I'm pretty sure like I've broken the DB rules.
W came home last night super drunk and was making the toilet bowl her bed. I went in to check on her because I wanted to use the bathroom and found her there. Gave her something warm to drink, carried her to her bed which kinda messed up my still-recovering-from-ops-right-knee, changed out her clothes which she didn’t resist and tucked her into bed.
I’ve not been so up close with my W for a year plus and I was contemplating to be intimate when she was naked. But I managed to compose myself and did the right thing by not taking advantage of the situation. Throughout the process she only muttered one phrase softly, “Leave me alone” while I was changing out her clothes which she wasn’t resisting at all; in fact she went along with it.
She thanked me the next day and went radio silence again. I’m trying so hard not to expect any form of gratitude in return and boy was it hard but I managed to pull thru!
Also I had my usual therapy today as well. I have a gut feeling that my therapist is gearing me up on the prospect of divorcing. I'm not repulsed to the idea; I told her I'm not in a position to put a hard date to it yet as I'm still a work in progress. When I can't even answer the question of what do I really want confidently, I shouldn't be making hasty decisions.
W's inaction is in a way giving me time to focus and work on myself. My current focus in order of priority: Kids, work, GAL, health. I'm trying not to allow any breathing room to analyze my W's actions and words. I might slip here and there but baby steps... baby steps. I don't think I'm on a countdown timer yet so I'll take all the time I can have to work on myself.
M(36), W(36), D(6), D(4) M-7, T-8 Bomb Drop - Nov 28, 2019 W requested separation - Sep 30, 2020
That post is very worrisome . You wanted to take advantage of your pissed drunk wife who couldn’t resist because she was physically too drunk? That thought actually crossed your mind ? Am I reading this right ?
I’ve not been so up close with my W for a year plus and I was contemplating to be intimate when she was naked. But I managed to compose myself and did the right thing by not taking advantage of the situation. Throughout the process she only muttered one phrase softly, “Leave me alone” while I was changing out her clothes which she wasn’t resisting at all; in fact she went along with it.
uuuuummmm I am pretty sure "leave me alone" is resisting.
Not caught up on story but wanted to chime in that that last post is a bit creepy. I understand when I had in house separation with my W there were days I thought about missing the physical and that was the longest period in my life since I had been a young teenage boy going without sex ever... don’t put yourself in those creeper situations especially with any drunk woman.
You could have moved her fully clothed and left her fully clothed if it was that bad like you had diarrhea and only one toilet.
Please continue the work, it’s very weak to expect anything from her like you were being a good helping boy. She was drunk... leave her to her mess.
Btw, her inaction , action, or anything she does should not interfere or have any affect on your progress and what you decide to do for yourself.
H 49 , W 47 T 23, M 17 S11, S5 BD: 7/18 IHS: 7/18 - 3/19 Physically Separated: 3/19-4/19 Piecing: 4/19 - Current
He didn’t have to undress her to change her, he moved her to the bedrooom cus he needed to use the toilet. Could have left her in her original clothes she probably vomited all over.
Edit to include I don’t buy the reason he did all that was cuz he needed to pee or use the bathroom.
Last edited by Adam04; 02/02/2105:19 PM.
H 49 , W 47 T 23, M 17 S11, S5 BD: 7/18 IHS: 7/18 - 3/19 Physically Separated: 3/19-4/19 Piecing: 4/19 - Current
Quick journaling because something happened last night which I think isn't good for me at all. I'm pretty sure like I've broken the DB rules.
Journaling is great for processing things, and journaling here also for support and advice.
Originally Posted by Akuei
Gave her something warm to drink, carried her to her bed which kinda messed up my still-recovering-from-ops-right-knee, changed out her clothes which she didn’t resist and tucked her into bed.
While you have no obligation to her, as a one-off helping someone who's drunk falls under "basic human kindness". I hope she appreciates it! I'm sorry you accidentally hurt your knee. Given your priorities, I assume that was an unforeseen consequence and not prioritizing her over your own health.
Originally Posted by Akuei
I’ve not been so up close with my W for a year plus and I was contemplating to be intimate when she was naked. But I managed to compose myself and did the right thing by not taking advantage of the situation.
I'm glad you realized that was wrong and didn't act on it. Changing her clothes gave me pause when she told you to stop. Would you have stopped or continued with an acquaintance or stranger?
Originally Posted by Akuei
She thanked me the next day and went radio silence again. I’m trying so hard not to expect any form of gratitude in return and boy was it hard but I managed to pull thru!
Good, she appreciated the good deed and expressed that naturally--"Thank you." Did you expect more?
Originally Posted by Akuei
W's inaction is in a way giving me time to focus and work on myself. My current focus in order of priority: Kids, work, GAL, health.
He didn’t have to undress her to change her, he moved her to the bedrooom cus he needed to use the toilet. Could have left her in her original clothes she probably vomited all over.
Edit to include I don’t buy the reason he did all that was cuz he needed to pee or use the bathroom.
He didn’t have to undress her to change her, he moved her to the bedrooom cus he needed to use the toilet. Could have left her in her original clothes she probably vomited all over.
Edit to include I don’t buy the reason he did all that was cuz he needed to pee or use the bathroom.
Thanks for clarifying Adam.
No problem, my response was wordy and hasty. I’ve recently been working from home so trying to chime in during the daytime with much less paragraphs that I’m used to writing.
H 49 , W 47 T 23, M 17 S11, S5 BD: 7/18 IHS: 7/18 - 3/19 Physically Separated: 3/19-4/19 Piecing: 4/19 - Current
