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A Message from Michele
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Joined: Feb 2017
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M,

No need to explain she knows why you didnít call. Your explanation is manipulation. Hospital visits, kids home sick or in trouble at school, etc she needs to know about.

I agree you are doing well. There will be numbs in the road along the way but you will get there.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

ďDon't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.Ē- Will Smith
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Mumin Offline OP
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Youíre completely right as always LH.
I could sort of feel it was wrong to say so I didnít.
Instead I transitioned to talk about the visit and told her what the nurse and doctor said.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 8,926
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Originally Posted by Mumin
Youíre completely right as always LH.
I could sort of feel it was wrong to say so I didnít.
Instead I transitioned to talk about the visit and told her what the nurse and doctor said.


Well done, Mumin! Keep up the good work.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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Posts: 530
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Mumin Offline OP
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Hadnít thought about until spiral posted he had an anniversary but today marks a year since the real BD.
And, still another +1,5 more months of IHS.
Iím getting real tired of it. Last night D6 said for the first time it feels strange that Mommy puts me to bed but you are in MBR. (For those who donít know sitch W sleeps in a cottage/shed while she is here)
There still is love in me for her but I believe I am close to as detached as possible while IHS.
Just really want to let ALL thoughts and feelings go and begin my new life.

Iím doing well at work.
Building more and more muscle. Will start intermittent fasting again in March.
House is ready for Christmas (I let W and kids prepare and decorate the tree)
Been very anxious about the roof from time to time but it seems leak is stopped but Iím looking at a renovation with 5 years maximum. Thatís about 25000 USD, or DIY and way cheaper. Right now I have zero savings and credit is maxed out. So Iím reading up and talking to friends about all components of building a house. Iím lucky with competent friends here so feel secure atm. In five years maybe Iíll practically be a carpenter.

Also would love some real snow this year! Snowboarding is my biggest passion.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 530
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Mumin Offline OP
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Hmm
Got an envelope from the courts in the mail today. Addressed to W.
It is probably them asking her to confirm and I happen to know she doesnít have a lot of time to do this.
If she doesnít intervene within a few days we will be divorced.
W wonít be back home till Monday so I am wondering if I should write to her or just put it in her pile of mail.
I know sheíll not look at it for a few weeks if I put it in her pile.

I filed the final papers for legal D without her knowing.
Leaning towards telling her the envelope came and I believe they sent it because I filed.

Last edited by Mumin; 12/09/20 04:49 PM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 8,926
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Talk to your lawyer.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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What would be your motive in warning STBXW about the envelope? Presumably, you filed for D because you're ready for that solo journey--not as a "one last chance" (an ultimatum).


May'19 - separation. | Dec'19, Oct'20, Jan'21 - painful breakups. | Jan'21 - freedom!
"We the ones who play hard, we live hard, we love hard, we light up the dark." -- Kesha

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Mumin Offline OP
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True CW
Not bringing it up at all might come across as passive aggressive.
Also I have gotten some info she might not be feeling to well (from SIL and a mutual friend).
Donít want to tip the scales in terms of anger/depression if you get my point.

Also I wouldnít warn her, just let her know the envelope came and potentially ask if I I should open it for her.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 530
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Mumin Offline OP
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To your point Steve this wouldnít impact anything other than her feelings really.
Financials are signed and I own the house now.
Custody is done.
This is just to confirm the legal D after the obligatory waiting time.

Last edited by Mumin; 12/09/20 05:32 PM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 6,755
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Posts: 6,755
So M is this NGS or are you just trying to do the honorable thing? Thereís a big difference.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

ďDon't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.Ē- Will Smith
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