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Yeah, I don’t. Know what’s going on. I don’t why the timing of my daughter’s senior year, I can only mind read and think that once the BD she thought I would bail but still pay all the bills. But I’m still here, and again yesterday I told her she should move out.

Well, she hasn’t accessed any of the financial records, which be the first step since we don’t have custody or child support issues.

I think the whispering friend is her divorced girlfriend.

As for the tax thing, I’m liable too. Previously I have filed it for her so the reminder that she is responsible is a 180


Me 57/W 53, M 23, T 27

D21/D17

BDay 6/29/20, ILYBINILWY

IHS 10/5/2020
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LH is right on the tax thing. Cant see how you are liable for her taxes?
I don’t know you’re sitch but since you’ve told her she should move out it should be apparent to her she’s responsible for herself now. If you really think she hasn’t realized that then just say “you’re responsible for your life now”. Then dont let NGS or something else convince you to remind her of anything ever again(unless R of course). That includes even if she risks being fined.

Last edited by Mumin; 12/05/20 02:23 PM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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Because our taxes this year are filed jointly.


Me 57/W 53, M 23, T 27

D21/D17

BDay 6/29/20, ILYBINILWY

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Totally new concept for me. I’m from Scandinavia. The above principle still is valid though.
My take would have been to either just do it all and not tell her, or only do mine and let her pay the total consequences. Depends on the system.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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Hi Mumin,

In the US you have the option of filing jointly or separately. Filing jointly often offers you a discount of sorts.

If it's not possible for you to figure everything out, I'd probably say "If you want me to file the taxes jointly--that nets us $$$--please give me X by date Y," maybe one or two reminders, then file separately. This is also what I'd do if an acquaintance and I were trying to buy bulk to save money. I would steer clear of (as counterproductive) telling her what she needs to do or trying to control her behaviors.

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How did the talk go?

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At about 10 o clock, W (stbxw) came to me in LR and said let’s talk in DR where kids were. I said we could talk to them here, or not not ever. She said that’s not an option, I said it’s always an option.

So I let wife talk and she said Daddy and I aren’t sleeping in the same room, and that we were working on things. That’s why things are so tense in the house. Buts nobody’s moving out and things are not going to change in the near future. Blah blah blah, any questions?

Ds are like, that’s kinda vague, what’s that mean?

D21 asked how long has this been going on, like since March. W said longer than that.

W: Well, it doesn’t mean that we are going to get divorced, or divorced soon.

I pretty much said nothing because this whole thing made no sense.

Well, kids cried a little, and then we h

And then everybody pretty much went back to what they were doing.

Then W complained I put the dirty dish rag with the clean dishes and I needed to stop doing that. I just looked at her.

And Sil is coming to stay with us in January so we all have to get covid tested because she


Me 57/W 53, M 23, T 27

D21/D17

BDay 6/29/20, ILYBINILWY

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Bizarre exchange indeed.

So are you working on things? IC, MC? Is she still in contact with OM?

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I forgot, W explained that’s why we dont tell each other where we are, where we are going.

About 30 minutes after semi BD, I was sitting on sofa watching the game.

W:You wanted to talk?

N:No

W: You look like you want to say something.

N:No


Me 57/W 53, M 23, T 27

D21/D17

BDay 6/29/20, ILYBINILWY

IHS 10/5/2020
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I’m in Ic, we had 2 mc sessions in July, then she just didn’t show up for the third one. I have a dB coach too.

Ic is telling me prepare for D, I’m like yeah, I know.


Me 57/W 53, M 23, T 27

D21/D17

BDay 6/29/20, ILYBINILWY

IHS 10/5/2020
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