Steve - the person I spoke to was 66 with a 30 year old daughter. And if hanging out with a fun 30 year old family member after this is wrong, so be it.
I was walking and typing and trying to protect a degree of anonymity, so i might not have been clear.
" a bunch of 30 year old girls."
I guess you didn't mean that?
Edit: oh, maybe I assumed you followed through on going out with her and her friends. Apologies if I misunderstood.
Last edited by Steve85; 11/14/2007:26 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Tonight was interesting. My kids went over to a neighbors party, I was struggling as to whether i stayed with NKY wife or went along. I had been invited, but my wife didn’t know, she hadn’t been. Anyhow, she said I should go with the kids . Once I got there they asked what she was doing and they invited her to but she stayed at home. So the kids and I had a great time while she did who knows what. It was a little weird and made me sad, but oh well.
Same here. Though my W is buying extremely expensive clothes and accessories for her self. Closing in on 10 grand for just a few items. Also new boobs and fillers.
They change. You need to be prepared for that as detachment will continue to take time.
Me: 34 Stbxw: 30 D:5 D:3 Mini bd: May/June 2019 Married: Aug 2019 BD: 6th Dec 2019 OM Confirmed: Feb 2020 March 2020: I filed for D Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Tattoos, boob jobs, new clothes, new BFFs, new attitude, new words, its clearly a thing. These aren't the same women we once knew. Theoretically should make detachment easier, because its a stranger!
Me: 41 W:42 T: 14 M: 11 S: 6
"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
Tonight was interesting. My kids went over to a neighbors party, I was struggling as to whether i stayed with NKY wife or went along. I had been invited, but my wife didn’t know, she hadn’t been. Anyhow, she said I should go with the kids . Once I got there they asked what she was doing and they invited her to but she stayed at home. So the kids and I had a great time while she did who knows what. It was a little weird and made me sad, but oh well.
Why would you struggle with the decision to go to the party or stay with your stbxw? I really trying to understand your mindset? Help me.
LH - I’m not detached. I feel sorry for her that she’s all alone. And I like being with her, even though she’s not right. Anyhow, I went - so that’s a positive. And I slept until 8am today - the latest I’ve slept in weeks.
My wife isn’t getting fake boobs yet, and she’s not working out like a fiend (she’s put on weight), and she hasn’t bought a ton of new clothes. I’ve actually been impressed as she buys stuff for her new home because she’s buying used furniture off of Facebook marketplace.
Anyhow, regardless of what I do or what I learn I feel like I’m stuck in LH’s path. Nothing I can do to change it other than to move on to try and save myself. It just [censored]. I do think she might have some kind of personality disorder though it could just be perimenopause. Or, she’s just changed - I guess that’s hard for me to accept so I’m looking to blame it on something.
At least I had a fun weekend hanging out with friends each night. First time I’ve had a weekend like that in years.
So this kind of stuff drives me crazy. I found out that she enrolled in a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program for $97. I already knew she had labeled me as a narcissist. It drove me so crazy I asked my therapist at the time and my coach if it was true, they both laughed at me.
So she is 100% scapegoating me by labeling me with a condition and taking no ownership of our problems.
