My kids get put in rooms and put on ipads/alexa show/ tv by mom. I actually plan to not do a ton to the apartment but get them out and doing stuff outside as much as I can. Science projects, making stuff, things like that that unplug them. I love to go fishing and other outdoor things and so do they. That will be my focus. Ill try to make the room for them as fun as I can.
Awesome! I'm a big proponent of getting out and doing things with the kids: playground, nature hikes, mini-golf...whatever. They'll enjoy it more than just sitting on the couch watching the 50th YouTube video of the day, and you'll have QUALITY time with them making memories together for the future.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
I’m sure you right as usual LH. I garuntee she thinks coming back to me means no happiness for her. Just selfish for me. That’s exactly why I say nothing to guilt her. It would only confirm her justifications. But I am in zero hurry to be with someone else. I’m not that kind of guy.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
No contact is the hardest thing ive done. Your mind wants to reach out and say anything, something, just to see if they are still there. Its seperation anxiety, jealousy of thier "happiness" without you, pain and hurt. I hope other LBS can benefit from my experience. I truly feel how hard it is. Its so hard to stay strong when you feel like its so wrong not to talk to them and tell them A-Z. Feels like your abandoning them and like your being "mean" or whatever, but the truth is the WW had a litany of other things she could have done than leave you for OM. I try to think about that when I struggle with no contact/ business only contact. Seeing her tonight will break my heart I know it. But I will try to get it over fast, with dignity and no hugs, no chatting just pick up kids and go. Ill let you guys know how that works out.
I watch a video posted on youtube under the Affair Recovery Channel. Its from a guy named Samuel who cheated on his wife and he explains how the wife trying to love him pushed him farther away. It was when the wife accepted it, drew boundaries and respected herself that he realized he didnt want to lose her. The video is called "Stop trying to make them love you" I watch it often when I want to reach out, it helps.
Last edited by Steve_; 11/08/2006:12 PM.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
Google: YouTube datingguy no contact Then just listen. It will ease your anxiety.
Me: 34 Stbxw: 30 D:5 D:3 Mini bd: May/June 2019 Married: Aug 2019 BD: 6th Dec 2019 OM Confirmed: Feb 2020 March 2020: I filed for D Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
Steve, not sure about you but I dated a lot of girls before I was married. Nothing repulsed me more than a girl constantly contacting me that I just wasn't into. If you ever experienced then you know that's the last thing you want her to experience about you.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Yeah I never reach out to her anymore. Its been that way for a week now pretty much a couple days after OM drop I stopped all contact and have kept it only to what I have to. She's asked several times about my apartment, I ignore it every time. And end the conversation (always via text) I don't answer her phone calls so she doesn't even try anymore. Essentially last week when she seemed like she was deciding who to pick and playing that game I told her as long as she was with him don't communicate with me unless its about kids or an emergency/necessary. She has stuck to that from then on but tries to sneak in a chatty subject. I dismiss it and ignore it.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
W texted me call me "we need to talk" I said why?... She accused me of telling her family she took everything and that's why I haven't moved out yet. (what actually happened is that they asked when im moving out and I told them I have to get a bed, bunk bed, some other things, I have nothing but a TV and couch she took the rest but she is paying the bills for it). She started to get ugly so I called 2 hours later and told her "hey whats going on, why are you getting angry. I told her I let them know she is paying for it and that im working on getting a few things before taking the kids over. She said okay, She then got mad that the nurses at work wanted to give me "hand me downs" on towels and silverware and so on and began crying saying "I don't want my kids to be poor" "I just said, this is the way things are now. My income is going to be 1000-1200 a month to live off after all bills, but my mom offered to get pots and pans and so forth so the kids will have new stuff,I told my friends thankyou but my mom is getting stuff, I would also prefer them to have new silverware and bed and im working on it" she continued to get upset and said "Just talk to me if you need something, just call me, I can get you guys food, we can go inside the store when you meet to pick them up and get groceries" I told her "no thankyou, im not interested in shopping with you right now, I can get the kids food" she got upset and said "you can just take my card inside and Ill wait" I said again "no thanks, I can get them food its fine" She asked me to call her and talk to her if I need something for the kids I said "I cannot call you, I cannot talk to you, Im sorry but we are not going to be friends, I wont be part of your life at all while your with OM, ive always been a great dad you know that and the kids are going to be okay I wont let them get hand me down silverware or beds it will be fine, I will be fine, I got this, I have to go back to work and just hung up." Later she texted me asking me to watch the kids an extra day because she had work I responded "of course" and she asked me if I was taking the kids to my apartment or to her moms I said "moms", sent her my December schedule which is modified to not include any of her days off with the kids so there will be no more scheduling issues and by the first ill be 100% living there with the kids. I probably talked a bit to much here, but I wont be blamed for her guilt and reality creeping in. Ive done my best and im sticking to my guns now, I want to be in her new life as little as possible from now on.
Last edited by Steve_; 11/09/2001:40 AM.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
