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Indy470 Offline OP
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I appreciate it LH.

I have a hard time reading on here sometimes because alot of the sitchs have backgrounds where things happened in the marriage that led up to BD.

Mine didn't really have any of that.

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That’s why honestly I don’t have hope for you. I do believe in a midlife transition for women who based on hormones and brain chemicals and basically sacrificing their needs for years for their husbands and children feel take for granted lose love and respect for their husbands.

Your W fits none of these categories and is just selfish. I’m sorry but that’s how I feel.

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Indy470 Offline OP
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LH,

I agree I see alot of sitchs that follow a similar trend and it makes some sort of sense.

Can I pick your brain as to what you think happened in my sitch?

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Originally Posted by Indy470
I want to respond and not just ignore her.
Why?


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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I think it has to be one of two things and I’m gonna speak frank with you.

You were either to much of a pu$$y (NGS) or she’s just a really bad person.

How was you sex life?

The good news is if it was option 1 you can turn it around by standing up to her. If it’s option 2 it will not likely change until she hits rock bottom. More then likely until that happens she will be like Steve’s W and keep leaving and coming back.

I’m sorry I wish I had a better answer.

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Originally Posted by Indy470

I want to respond and not just ignore her.


So........if you don't want to follow the rules of DBing, why are you here asking for advice?


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Indy470 Offline OP
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LH,

I appreciate you being frank.

Sex life was great up until the two weeks before BD.

She was pulling away entirely. Which is obvious now she was getting that fufilled elsewhere.

Before that? it was good.



Maybe I was too much of a pu$$y but I dont think so. I did stand up to her in regards to things I believed. I was good to her but I wouldn't say I was a doormat for her or anything like that.

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Women are more attracted to men who stand up for themselves and what they believe in versus guys who are people pleasers and too nice to the point that they let women and others walk all over them. Women can never love men they do not respect. If a woman jerks you around, disrespects you, tries to put you in friend zone, uses you and you let her get away with it without setting and enforcing healthy boundaries, she will never love you and never feel anything for you other than feelings of platonic friendship. Men who love, value and respect themselves never put up with rude and disrespectful women who take them for granted or who try to friend zone them. They simply give them the gift of missing them, permanently. If a woman pushes you away, it’s her who must earn another chance with you, not the other way around.

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Originally Posted by Indy470
Sex life was great up until the two weeks before BD.
For you or for her?


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Indy470 Offline OP
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LH,

I had a conversation with a friend about this. How odd the dynamic is. That I’m waiting for her to decide when in reality she messed up and should be asking for another chance.

It’s my own fault I know. I chose to stand.

R2C,

You’ve got some great posts out there. Thanks for stopping in.

I would say for both of us. Unless she is really good at faking things and is an elaborate liar about her feelings in regards to our sex life.

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