Yeah 6 months old is a lot different from a 7 year old and a 5 year old. I didn’t tell my son anything that regarded why this happened. I only told them that I loved their mom, and i didn’t want to seperate but I have to. That’s it. I didn’t say a single other thing regarding the situation. I will not turn my children into weapons or my therapist. But I am not going to let them think that I just randomly split their lives up and wanted to do it. They speak to me we are close they interact they ask lots of questions there are not babies. I had to say something so I kept it minimal. The other 98% of the questions I say “I don’t know”
Last edited by Steve_; 10/31/2001:32 PM.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
What I am saying is my daughter is 13 now. I have went through ever stage of questions with my daughter . That was waaaaaaay TMI for those ages. I had guidance from therapists through all her stages on how to answer the questions appropriately their lives were not randomly split up. You keep taking back a woman who has zero respect for you. Has 5 times cheated on you. This is not a random split up. But at 7 and 5 who wants it or doesn’t want it isn’t something they should know. Because they can’t understand and shouldn’t understand the details of how their parents got where they are. It’s simply “mommy and daddy have adult issues which we are handling. And we both love you very much”
The older they get, and the more detached from the situation you get, the more you can answer questions
But I can tell you are still in the stage of not really listening to what others have to say and you’ll just defend your choices in every area and ignore all advice.
I was there, we were all there. I do hope you heed the advice of not staying there too long.
So to Ginger’s point your ex can go to you kids and say this is dad’s fault because he doesn’t have his $hit together. You don’t want them thinking it was anyone’s fault. You want them to know it wasn’t their fault and that you both love them very much.
Yeah we talked to them together. I don’t talk to them anymore just the one time. They are just being as protected as possible from this. I talked to my therapist MFT at work, he said that it’s okay to tell them it’s not what I want but to make sure that I support things best as I can from now on. It’s important for them to have stability and so on. With being said I told my wife today that I made a choice regarding the kids.
I won’t move out into the apartment right away. I don’t have any table furniture etc anyways. I’ll stay in the home with the in laws and so for until December 1st. After that I will leave and if she wants to take the kids to the apartment to live there with him it’s on her. I offered them to stay with me if she wants that too. This gives her some space and time to decide, keeps my kids out of it for another month and gives me a chance to get the things I need to be ready to move them In without any pressure going any direction. I felt it was the right thing to do.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
"you are making this so hard for me" "Im trying to hate you but your being amazing"
I am going to have to go ahead and assume that means just about jack squat, especially since she is still with him. Was nice to hear but its just more of the BS coming out of her in the whole mess. She has no intention of doing anything different, our whole life was thrown away for this dude, a little guilt doesnt mean anything. Not getting my hopes up.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
Yeah we talked to them together. I don’t talk to them anymore just the one time. They are just being as protected as possible from this. I talked to my therapist MFT at work, he said that it’s okay to tell them it’s not what I want but to make sure that I support things best as I can from now on. It’s important for them to have stability and so on. With being said I told my wife today that I made a choice regarding the kids.
I won’t move out into the apartment right away. I don’t have any table furniture etc anyways. I’ll stay in the home with the in laws and so for until December 1st. After that I will leave and if she wants to take the kids to the apartment to live there with him it’s on her. I offered them to stay with me if she wants that too. This gives her some space and time to decide, keeps my kids out of it for another month and gives me a chance to get the things I need to be ready to move them In without any pressure going any direction. I felt it was the right thing to do.
Why is it the right thing to do?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I think it’s the right thing to do because I want to be in a healthier position when i move out not depressed around my kids. I need time to detach more before I am solo with them. I need time to prepare the place and find furniture and so on. And finally it gives my wife a chance to process this before she gets the kids into it and it changes their life too.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
Tonight I wanted to talk to her so bad, tell her to stop this and how wrong it is i did not. I just went to sleep early to keep my mind from running. She messaged me at 1130 tonight. There was no reason for it. She asked “still awake?” Then called I did not answer.
Not sure why she does this. She’s literally laying in bed next to him right now at her place. Why the hell she reaching out to me? I need to continue to distance myself. She made her choice literally made her bed and is laying in it.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
