I logged onto to my bank acct today as I had deposited the money S19's dad sent for his portion of fall schooling... only see a large amount being deducted from a company that holds our insurance/auto loans. This was NOT my charge.
I had to call H - he rejected the call (honestly NOT surprised)... but then immediately texted "I'll will call you right back" (that surprised me)
When he called he just answered "you called me" in a muffled voice. I explained there was a charge for X dollars from X company on my acct... was that you? He suddenly said "oh, crap... I'm sorry... I thought it was coming from my acct"
I just stated I'm sure it was an accident and he just clicked the wrong bank info (FYI - our insurance accounts are as separate as we can get them... X company won't 100% separate until there is a divorce decree). I was very nice and calmly just asked if he could get the money to my account today... it's over 3k and I can't carry that unexpected expense.
UGH... wishing that didn't happen.
I did drop off ALL the paperwork to atty today. It is what it is....
Why didn’t you delete the app and get a new one? Instead of “assuming” it was safe, why not just delete and get a new one. Takes a minute.
Why did you contact him about deleting your stuff? You knew he did it. There is nothing more to say. At that point you delete the app and get your own and restart your list. Not need to contact him to confirm what you already knew.
You are in denial. Denial of all you actions which are just meant to keep some sort of contact, your passive agressive moves, you excuses all over the place.
The app is tied into my email address... This app on his phone is also tied into my email address. I could delete the app off my phone but then I would have to go about deleting my email, getting a new email and transferring tons of business links/bank info/bill pay to new email. Its more than just removing an app off my phone for me... no big deal to him... its not his email.
For drawing money out of the wrong account. Guessing you would have let him have it.
The Old Old Me --- would have taken it in stride... easily fixed no biggie.
However, to be honest if this happened in one of our down cycles I might have made comments on this is why I handle everything. I would have been stressed about how to fix it. I wouldn't have been "nasty" so to speak but I would have been overwhelmed and maybe unkind? Certainly would not have called him names or yelled but I'm sure he would have felt very small by stressed out overwhelmed demeanor. I'm sure he would have felt worthless?
I took today to really showcase where I am in life. Maybe that wasn't the right move???
H: money has been deposited Me: Thank you for taking care of it so quickly H: Well I F'ed up had to fix it [[[ my H taking responsibility --- that's awesome!!]]] Me: It's all good. Have a great weekend.
I see growth on both sides of the fence. Too bad its too late. He's not coming back but maybe in the back of his mind he's like... hmmm... thought I'd get all kinds sh*t what's up with her?
He resolved the issues within 1hr of my calling him. He had to go to do different banks on a Friday so he didn't dawdle on it.
He sees it for what it is which is manipulative. It’s gonna to take many years where he believes any of it and trust me after all that he’s going to put your through in the next few years the last thing you will be saying is “have a nice weekend”.
He sees it for what it is which is manipulative. It’s gonna to take many years where he believes any of it and trust me after all that he’s going to put your through in the next few years the last thing you will be saying is “have a nice weekend”.
I see your point. I was trying to stay upbeat and positive and put in a way that he didn't need to follow up?
For future reference what would you have said to "well I F'ed up had to fis it"???
4 glasses of wine at my meet up... slash date... or whatever the heck I'm doing.
Wow... told repeatedly I look like I'm in my mid thirties (nope 51... here's my driver's license). Told repeatedly what idiot would walk out on all this??? Boy, he's gonna regret it. "what do you want to eat... you're the boss". REALLY??? I'm done being the "boss". Being the "boss" got me where I am right now....
Home now drunk ordering pizza.
Adventures in dating when your're in your 50's... woo hooo... laughs on me!!!
It is what it is....