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Hey Gigi,

I know that probably makes today a little rough. I hope your day goes as well as it can.

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Gigi123 - That's tough. My wedding anniversary is tomorrow and we have a transition with the kids in the evening, so I'm curious if anything will come up (I don't plan to broach the topic). Hang in there!


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
BL42 #2903179 09/05/20 04:24 PM
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I know that in the evening when kids go to sleep i might dwell on this a little, but we had a fab day together after h left.

My friend came round with her H to help with the rest of the garage and her H took my boys to the park whilst we finished up.


I havent been to the garage for a while but my H has left a load of bags with his stuff in there and he asked the kids to help pack all of that in boxes.....i thought that was particularly odd, as kids dont know anything! So i said to him we need to set a date when to tell the boys and silence is what i had back!

He is coming here tomorrow, but luckily i have a fun shopping trip planned!

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That's great Gigi,

Glad you got through the interaction and it didn't take a toll on you. Sounds like you handled it great.

Enjoy your shopping trip tomorrow!

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Gigi if you REALLY think the kids need to know u can just tell them.
Especially if WAS isn't responding. That's exactly what happened to me, so I just told them.
Went sort of like this.
Mom and dad aren't in love as much any more.
That's why mom isn't at home all the time anymore.
I am not sure what will happen.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Mumin #2903197 09/06/20 06:13 AM
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Hey Mumin

Thank you, we are at the stage of either War or peaceful resolution of division of everything, i d very much like peace for the sake of the boys. I would prefer to tell them together,but you are right if he doesn’t respond again i will tell them myself. If he wasnt doing weird stuff like letting my kids pack boxes with his stuff or letting my eldest look at his pictures on the phone that are full of ow And have ow on the screensaver of his phone then i would let it slide, but this is so confusing and upsetting for my eldest.

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Omfg! What an idiot!
Whit that going on if I was you and my eldest showed even a slightest hint of understanding what's happening (which by the way I'm 100% sure he/she already does) I would say something immediately. You can just tell H that the eldest asked or seemed confused.
I spent 3 months anxious every day about telling them (new me would have asked W once).
It isnt that big of a deal. NOT telling them while they may understand or are confused, is worse IMO.


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Mumin #2903303 09/08/20 02:00 PM
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Very odd set up here. H stays at the house a couple days a week to spend time with the kids. He drinks, started smoking, i have no idea how he functions.

We work in the same building, so i saw him with the ow today they went out for lunch, it was an odd sight Ill be honest and affected me a bit.

I have walked past his car and his boot is full of his clothes, so i have no idea where he is staying the nights he isnt sleeping at the house. At the moment i just roll with it, work is busy i have an appt with financial advisor at the end of the months so i have a better idea on what i can afford.

Its been over 5 months now, i dread to think these things take years.....

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It HAS to be difficult seeing him at work/lunch with OW. Sorry you have to witness that.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
BL42 #2903335 09/08/20 09:29 PM
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It did make my heart skip a beat (not in a good way) but luckily we work in different departments, they didnt see me at all, and i had a moment to compose myself. Its not nice really, but i have to accept that it is what it is and there will be much closer encounters for the three of us over the next months in sure. I just try to keep my head high, as far as im concerned there are only two losers, and thats my H and OW.

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