A thousand miles away from H, but we have kids, so the daily messages are still here. All about the kids, but im struggling with how to respond to these.
They are all very brief like how are the boys? If i respond very briefly e.g. having a great time i get a follow up txt saying a bit more details?
If it wasnt for the kids i would just go no contact
The thing is we have always been really good friends with H, so i know if i get sucked into chit chat i will get carried away, because the convo flows between us easily, even now if i allow it. I try to be as brief as i can
Whilst im not 100% detached i feel so much stronger now and i dont want to go back to the emotional state i was in and i certainly don't want to be friendzoned.
A week away from H and things are good, his spending has been out of control, but im just enjoying our time with the family and time with the boys. They havent asked for H once, they want to live here near my family. I feel so much stronger here too.
Long term its a possibility and an exciting one at that.
He is currently staying at our house, but hasnt mentioned it directly to me, i realised when he facetime the kids that he is at our house! He is friendly on txt-friend zone, a bit jokey ocassionally, i only eveR respond to questions re kids and very brief and it works for me. We have another week away here and then to face the reality.
He is using our joint account so i can see everywhere he has taken ow to!
This is so incredibly disrespectful but nothing surprises me anymore! I can see all of the spend on the banK statements.... I have no idea if he is doing this on purpose to rub it in my face or he is just generally thoughtless
Back home, H picked us up at the airport, Tried to cuddle, i sort of let him, because i didnt expect it and couldnt react quick enough. The picture of ow is on his phone as a screensaver, i found it funny, it felt it was done on purpose.
He voiced that it feels like we have had a row and out communication can be better, that he struggled to get information out of my whilst we were away. I asked hin what info he was after and he said about the boys....to be honest i responded to all his questions about the kids daily, i just didnt write up essays about their day, brief one liners, but clearly he thinks we need to be more friendly. I feel so emotionally closed off from him, i actually dont want him to know anything about me or my life. I dont know if this is the right way to go in terms of communication. Should it be business like?
I say DEFINITELY business like atm. How your co-parenting (and hence communication) develops will depend on future living arrangments, custody etc.
For me it has been important to not give my W expectations that she will see everything about our children, because she wont. TBH it hasnt been much of an issue but when she has asked I have answered business like. Also, I never sent more than 1-3 photos no matter how long we have been away.
Me: 34 Stbxw: 30 D:5 D:3 Mini bd: May/June 2019 Married: Aug 2019 BD: 6th Dec 2019 OM Confirmed: Feb 2020 March 2020: I filed for D Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
