H posted on social media that he hit a racing goal that he has been trying for for years. This vacation that he is on, is an annual event. Well, the cards are in his favor and he met the elusive goal. I know how happy he must feel and I am torn, I am thrilled for him.
Do I reach out to congratulate? This has been such a goal for so long that I totally understand what this means to him.
If I do, do I call or text or post on his social media post? If so, what do I say?
I realized, I can congratulate H when he gets home. Him posting told me and anyone else his goal was met. He definitely was not posting for me, otherwise he would have called me or texted.
I need to be in NC for anything other than necessity. This is not a necessity.
Unless you want the OW to see you posting on his social media. But that might backfire, he might unfriend you if it's brought to his attention. So yeah, tell him when he gets home.
I didn’t even think of that. I don’t know if she follows him on IG, but why see?
That reminds me last year, while he was out of the country for work and with OW1, he posted something and my father responded about how H had a racing MIL. OW1 at that time did follow H and I am sure my dad innocently replying to a post outing H had an MIL was not in his plan.
Thanks for agreeing when he’s home to let him know. It’s hard, because it’s been a long time dream, but it definitely is not what he wants from me.
... but it definitely is not what he wants from me.
You really don’t know what he wants from you. He doesn’t know what he truly wants, it changes all the time.
Mind reading is a problem-filled landscape. Accuracy in thought and heart helps, I found. Consider what H does and says, not what you think or interpret those to mean. Believe none of what they say and only half of what they do. (More or less )
When H says something, that’s all it is. He said something. It may be true at the time, it might (and probably will) change, he might be lying, or manipulating, or just trying to pick a fight, or whatever. Don’t make it more than it is.
He is confused and depressed. He will speak mostly in negatives and in absolutes - it’s just where he is right now.
Focus on you and continue moving forward.
Good decision to wait until H gets home. NC is a very good for healing.
You got this.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
You can understand how confusing this is, and then I think how confusing it is for him. I can’t worry about the confusion for both of us, just me.
Yesterday, I went back and reread some information I had read on MLC and affairs when I discovered the first affair and it solidified my instincts to stand and for forward.
So today, I am headed to work, then a fun meal at home with D25.
I am looking into taking an overnight trip for me alone. So that will be on the agenda to pick somewhere. I need a change of scenery.
When my ex first told me he wanted a divorce, I took a night away in a local nice hotel. Just told him I was going away for the weekend, not where or anything - let him worry! I ordered room service, watched a movie, laid out by the pool and drank some drinks with umbrellas in them while I read by the pool. It was great to have the peace and quiet and luxury to myself.
I think that it is needed. I just don’t know how to tell D25 without telling her where. I don’t want him to know, and obviously I cannot ask her to keep from him because I don’t want to play that game.
Well, he ended up setting a record. That is a huge accomplishment. I went back and forth on if I should say anything and I texted him instead of posting. He responded “Thank you” I did not ask anything and I feel a little relief knowing I reached out for that. I have no desire to talk with him, so that is good. I assume he will be home no later than Sunday since he will have to work Monday. I will just see him when he returns. In the meantime. It is hot here and I will try to keep cool temperature wise and emotionally.
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