Ok. Everyone here who have seen 100s if not 1,000s of sitches think it's best for you to go NC to save your marriage. You on the other hand think it's better to stay in contact with him. Can you at least explain why you think this is your best option? How you know better then everyone here?
Where did you get that?
I stated honestly - yes I would like to stay in contact with the H who wanted to marry me but that is not who my H is right now and its foolish to stay in contact with that H.
I'm not saying I know better than anyone.
I haven't been the best at going NC... mostly because when he contacts I feel that response will appease him... positive interactions diffuse the negative angry ones. I've been tripping over my own feet.
If its not urgent I will not respond. I'm going to go dark on my SM. I'm looking for a way that any phone call goes right to VM. I've already muted his texts and I've disconnected the blue tooth in my car so my phone doesn't auto send his texts to the car.
Hi KC, Ok, if you want NC unless it’s an emergency, it’s fairly simple to block him on any smart phone these days. Do you have an android or IPhone? I’d be more than happy to give you a step by step on how to do it.
Another idea you could try is creating an email address just for him, don’t use it on your phone or as your main account. Check it once or twice a week to see if there’s anything worth responding too. Just let him know that will be the only way moving forward to get a hold of you. I would assume if there is a true emergency he’ll contact your son that lives with you.
Worse comes to worse you can always change your phone number
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
I don't want to delete FB as it is a major source of communication for my out of state friends and family. So I just blocked H and OW - Now neither can see my page.
Yay! That's a small step forward.
Consider un-following your in-laws, since that'll also feature news about him.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I'm looking for a way that any phone call goes right to VM. I've already muted his texts and I've disconnected the blue tooth in my car so my phone doesn't auto send his texts to the car
While those are good steps, what's keeping you from going further, and asking him to only call/text for emergencies or even outright blocking him? I know what kept me from blocking my ex. I was afraid I'd miss out on that (silly, non-existent) moment when she was ready to text me and be all-in, but e-mailing was too hard. I could justify not blocking her, though, because I never responded to her texts.
I don't want to delete FB as it is a major source of communication for my out of state friends and family. So I just blocked H and OW - Now neither can see my page.
Yay! That's a small step forward.
Consider un-following your in-laws, since that'll also feature news about him.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I'm looking for a way that any phone call goes right to VM. I've already muted his texts and I've disconnected the blue tooth in my car so my phone doesn't auto send his texts to the car
While those are good steps, what's keeping you from going further, and asking him to only call/text for emergencies or even outright blocking him? I know what kept me from blocking my ex. I was afraid I'd miss out on that (silly, non-existent) moment when she was ready to text me and be all-in, but e-mailing was too hard. I could justify not blocking her, though, because I never responded to her texts.
Because I'm not going to ask... I don't need to get his permission to not contact me. I do not control him. I do not want not to control him.
I will learn to be in control of myself. I already don't check for texts on purpose... now sometimes I forget and exit out of convo and then I'll see his text... but I've been retraining myself to go to other phone apps to access my text for a particular person so I don't accidentally open the text app menu... I'm not perfect.... so sometimes I sound like Homer Simpson... Oh Crap.
I had a terrible slip up this past weekend and it was like I was trying out the Olympic downhill ski event... but no matter I picked myself up and moving on down the highway. This was 100% on me. I own it.
I just want to say that my hair is falling out... literally in the last 8 weeks by the handful. My hair is so thin on top you can notice in pictures now.
I'm not sure what to do.
I mean I am somewhat sad but I'm no longer at that stage where I'm wired all day and night. Overall I average some good sleep. I try to make sure I'm getting protein daily. I was bad and had way more sugar over the weekend.
I just want to say that my hair is falling out... literally in the last 8 weeks by the handful. My hair is so thin on top you can notice in pictures now.
I'm not sure what to do.
I mean I am somewhat sad but I'm no longer at that stage where I'm wired all day and night. Overall I average some good sleep. I try to make sure I'm getting protein daily. I was bad and had way more sugar over the weekend.
It’s stress KC. I had that issue for the first month the W was gone too. It’s since started growing back thank god. You relax, and take care of yourself. You have too.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
Know that we all just want you to be happy and healthy, no matter how it all turns out.
I could justify not blocking her, though, because I never responded to her texts.