I'm not trying to continue a path to friendship. Can I be kind and gentle and polite as he is moving things out of our house, absolutely. If the puppy has any issues - will he call me, yes (it's really my official job that I get paid for....) If we D I will let the atty's handle all of it - but it won't be nasty. BUT, I WILL NOT BE HIS FRIEND. I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR LESS THAN I DESERVE.
Sounds like a plan! "Would a busy bank teller do this?" Good job ignoring the missed call with no message.
UGH.... Today I'm feeling the strong pull of the dark force....
I did so fantastic yesterday!!! I felt so good.
I have picked up and put my phone down about 5 times. I even started typing... but then I hit delete.
I'm human and the curiosity is getting to me. There was no follow up to the call - no message, no text... its been 24hr. If it was important there would have been follow up... so what was the unimportant reason for the call?
It's weird because its usually always texts ==== never calls.
Alright, its out of my system. Off for a massage. Let all these pointless obsessive thoughts flow out of me.
I'm so glad I walked away from texting... got in my car to drive to massage appt which is 40min away.
BAM!!!!!!
H texts... can you call me.
WTH...
What is so important that you can't text???
I won't lie I'm worked up. I'm trying to breathe deep and not spin. I should be having the attitude 'eh... whatever. But, I dont I'm just not there yet. I'm just now mastering the skill of not responding to him and trying to be vague. He only recently apologized that I had a bad day... only recently seemed interested in my plans.
He started texting me instead... its about the puppy... puppy is sick. Sounds like he ate some latex balloons... ugh... sigh. Let's hope I can get them through this and not have to open him up.
Did the puppy eat the latex balloon on your H's watch? It is his responsibility to get it addressed and paid for on his dime if it did. You're busy.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I'm so glad I walked away from texting... got in my car to drive to massage appt which is 40min away.
BAM!!!!!!
H texts... can you call me.
WTH...
What is so important that you can't text???
I won't lie I'm worked up. I'm trying to breathe deep and not spin. I should be having the attitude 'eh... whatever. But, I dont I'm just not there yet. I'm just now mastering the skill of not responding to him and trying to be vague. He only recently apologized that I had a bad day... only recently seemed interested in my plans.
He started texting me instead... its about the puppy... puppy is sick. Sounds like he ate some latex balloons... ugh... sigh. Let's hope I can get them through this and not have to open him up.
I agree with LITB. When he fired you as his W he also lost you as his vet. Tell him to go see a vet.
Let me ask you this: Is serving as the vet for HIS puppy, will it help you be more attached or less attached?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
And, if you know any good vets... we work 24/7... neighbor knocks on my door at 7am... etc. I don't turn anyone away. That's prob why my profession has a terribly high suicide rate.
I can focus on the puppy... I often laugh at work becasue the office staff will swoon over some hot guy... and I be like... didnt notice I was focused on the dog! LOL.
So I will see how this goes... if he needs surgery I'd rather it be me than someone else... ego??
And, if you know any good vets... we work 24/7... neighbor knocks on my door at 7am... etc. I don't turn anyone away. That's prob why my profession has a terribly high suicide rate.
I can focus on the puppy... I often laugh at work becasue the office staff will swoon over some hot guy... and I be like... didnt notice I was focused on the dog! LOL.
So I will see how this goes... if he needs surgery I'd rather it be me than someone else... ego??
Not ego. Over attachment.
Would you go check out and treat OW's dog?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
LBS and WAS/WWS using pets (horses, dogs, etc.) to maintain their attachment is an unfortunate pattern we've seen before. It can keep the LBS attached for years. You would do yourself a HUGE favor if you found a way not to fall into it, whether that's offering to take ownership of the puppy because your ex is incapable, or sending him to another capable veterinarian.
I was asked at one point during our M to treat his XW's dog... But, no... I don't think so... unless she made an appointment at the office. You'd be surprised what kind of pride I will swallow or people who would tell me to my face that they don't like but still show up in my office because I'm good at what I do. I stuff down all personal feelings and its all about my patient.
But, I digress.
Convo lasted 4min? H was sullen but I was upbeat - just said "hey what's going on?" H gives the history/timeline. I ask a couple of questions. H also informed me they were at the family farm so I did ask how the puppy liked the farm but I only asked questions about the puppy. Ultimately I told H to give it 24hr and if not doing better I should take a look at him. I pretty much treated him like a client. I said thanks for the update and goodbye... he wasn't saying anything so I just hung up.
There may have been part of him that thought I would be angry that he didn't keep the puppy from eating something it shouldn't??? But, I wasn't.... not at all. I didn't judge or make him feel bad for the issue. I used to get angry that he would encourage the dogs to jump up on him as it wasn't good manners for the dogs and at their size they could knock someone over doing that. But, I've really let so much go --- I was WAY too controlling. I get that now. He wasn't asking my feeling about whether or not the dogs should be allowed to do that... I was being bossy. It was a big 180 for me to be relaxed and non-judgmental that H let the puppy get into something on his watch. Honestly that puppy gets into EVERYTHING... LOL I know because I've taken care of him for the last 3 months.
So yeah me --- great 180 for not biting off my H's head for a small mistake.
Then it gets weird.....
His mother calls me. She has not called me since BD, occassional texts. Her bday was last Saturday and I had sent a gift with H when he was here last week. I did not go out and buy her anything - it was something I had prior to BD. She chatted about the gift, and then tea in general. Gift was a clear tea pot and the tea is a blooming flower = very pretty. She chatted about nephews, bday party of stepson's gf's sister... lol. She asked when S18 grad party was going to be.... she mentioned stopping by when she was in the area next time. She ended the call with Love You KitCat...
I swear that woman has said Love You to me more times in the last 3 months than during our 9yr M.
OK---- I'm starting to sweat. Sparkly Girl is almost Sparkly Puddle. Please let the AC people show up today AND please lord make sure my dishwasher makes it today.
I'm turning the focus back on me... I'd love to work out but not when its 82 degrees in my house. Trying some new things today... If it doesn't cool off soon I'm going to be soaking in an ice cold bath!
KC, if I understand your comments correctly then you are a vet? If so then yes, care for the pup! Don't do it for H, do it for the pup. But have him bring it to your office, treat it just like you would any other "patient".
That's prob why my profession has a terribly high suicide rate.