I just emailed my attorney dreading her response because she’s mean. I’m nobody and she certainly doesn’t care about D14. It’s good that she’s mean I just wish she wouldn’t aim it at me. I told her I want alimony before my lease is up (4 months) so I can get D14 back. No she’s not being abused enough to make her move now which makes me fear a lecture. I am angry and will fight for her but it doesn’t mean this won’t upset me.
She didn't answer me quickly which usually means she's stuffed my case to the bottom of the pile but will miraculously have me numbers by tomorrow morning. I didn't threaten her this time so she could just ignore me but that's usually not her mo with me. I've threatened to fire her three times but she always comes through in the 11th hour. She could get me a good settlement with one hand tied behind her back which is why I stay. Did I mention she's mean? Like really mean?
I talk about D17 being happy but I see changes in her that make me nervous. My boss asked if she was a senior next year and I said yes. He asked where was she planning on going to college. Um she's not. I mean maybe she is who knows our main concern is where we will live. Its amazing how everything can change with 4 little words. I want a divorce.
Now is a great time to talk about college and what her future plans are. She should only have to worry about her future the way a 17 year old does. Have you guys sat down and had a talk about what her plans are beyond high school ?
Ya'll are living in a completely different universe than we are. There is no future. We are poor now and the view from down here is way different from where I was when I had access to a 6 figure income and a trust fund. D17 had dreams but they are not going to happen now. You need money for that dream and it's just not there. She doesn't want to go to college anymore. Doesn't care.
6 months ago H kicked us out of our home and we're okay. We laugh at the bugs in our shower, about eating fruit from a can and how we need bricks to get over the swamp outside out backdoor. S19 plays jokes on us and D17 teases him back. Lots of laughter.
Is it better to be happy and poor or miserable with a great future? Only time will tell I guess.
Living in a different world? I don’t come from money. I’ve been supporting myself since 18. My parents split when I was 17 and a senior in high school. So anyone who goes to college has access to a 6 figure income and trust fund? You have got to be kidding me, I’m sorry. You really believe your kids have no future because you all don’t h e a bunch of money? With that attitude they won’t. I took out loans . I paid for alll my own college. My mom didn’t give a poop about my future because she was drowning emotionally in the divorce. My daughter will have to take out loans and start at county college first unless she gets scholarships. I’m going to make sure she knows she can do anything she puts her mind to and I am going to support her all the way.
This post worries me big time. Your daughter doesn’t need tons of money and trust funds to make her dreams come true. She needs her parent to support her dreams and show her that her future isn’t gone.
You should really watch the pursuit of happy ness with Will Smith. It’s a true story. Your kids should watch it too.
Kas, I’m sorry to be harsh but you are dead wrong. Living in a different world? Hardly! My husband and I make less money together than many here probably do by themselves and we support our house and his mother’s house. I was raised on a farm and not a commodity farm like a dairy or a row crop farm but a beef cattle farm. We worked, scrimped and saved for everything we had. When it was time for me to go to college, we were so poor, I didn’t even have to take out loans...I qualified for grants that didn’t have to be paid back. And then I busted my a$$ when I got there to earn scholarships and keep my grades up so I could get more financial assistance.
I work at a college so I can tell you first-hand there are a ton of programs out there that will help your daughter. The fact that she all of a sudden doesn’t want to pursue the dreams speaks volumes to me about your situation. I think it was LH who said don’t put the weight of adult issues on your kids and it sounds like your daughter is taking the brunt and shoving her own dreams aside. Don’t let her do that, kas! There are MANY avenues she can pursue to follow her dreams and be successful.
I have no doubt you live your kids, but they need you to guide them and help them find a way in this world that is not tied to your divorce woes. Everyone has a future if they go after but for you to say they don’t have one is defeating to them. Like Ginger, reading your post absolutely broke my heart for your kids. They DO have a future and so do you.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
LOVE your kids, that should say but I feel like you live for them too.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Anybody here have college aged kids? S19 got a 32 on the ACT and will still owe $20k after attending a community college. I worked my way through college but it cost $600 a semester and now it’s $10k. Thats $40k for a degree who has that kind of cash? Ok so get loans where are the jobs? I work with 2 people with degrees, $40k in debt and they make $13 an hour. One has a teaching degree too.
D17 will be fine and what she wants to do doesn’t require a $40k degree. We were going to send her to NY but that’s not happening. She will probably get a 2 year degree and a grant should cover most of it.
