Job has been giving you really good advice on boundaries to set with him. If I was a betting man (and I am) my guess is you ignore the advice because you like getting texts from him and you're still afraid to make him mad.
Job has been giving you really good advice on boundaries to set with him. If I was a betting man (and I am) my guess is you ignore the advice because you like getting texts from him and you're still afraid to make him mad.
Nope - not ignoring advice.
Just his text at the current time. It annoys me that he is being vague. I have no idea what he is talking about. I haven't asked him anything that requires he contact me.
If its legal stuff - absolutely I will not see him on Wednesday.
If its getting the puppy that can wait till the weekend. I'm still packing up boxes of his crap that is all over the house. I'm sure I'm still missing stuff.
Oh - maybe he is referring the deer stand??? Its still in the back yard. He mentioned when he would come to get it - it would have to be all he gets as it would take up the entire truck bed. Maybe that is what he wants.
IDK.
But, I've decided until he is more specific I am free to ignore.
I'm very busy high value person. I don't have time to pay attention to him right now.
Also - I don't like getting texts from him... one of these days they will stop... and stop for good. I am trying to accept that. That this is done.
I won't lie. When he doesn't text it is hard. Its like doesn't he miss me at all? Is he thinking about me? Is he wondering if he made the right choice?
But, when a text does arrive I just want to throw up.
Its like when he doesn't text I get a mix of I can do this... I am strong enough... he has no idea what he is missing out on... he will come crawling back and I will be off living my own life... and living a little in my own fantasy and giving him a TASTE of the break up. Let him learn to live with not hearing from me and questioning his own choices.
I think texting me - even under the guise of getting his things and my response is also giving him a fix of some separation anxiety.
You can't tell me now that he is back to work after 5 weeks AND back on his regular shift that he didn't think... oh I leave for work at 8pm... she has dinner ready at 7pm... I get a hug and a cheesey kiss on the way out the door... I drive an hour an 10min to get to work. That doesn't mean he misses me enough to call or contact... BUT, that was his routine for 10yrs.
Sure he will tell himself how great it is that he has a 10min drive to work. That is awesome. But, the rest of it... the woman who made sure he had a packed home made lunch every day and dinner on the table. That he will miss.
For that reason I don't want to respond. I do NOT want to appease his separation anxiety. Live with your choices H.
KC- you really need to help yourself out here! You really should get into IC. It's great that you have a coach and another program, but that isn't a substitute.
The whole post above is about him. When you post "about you," it's actually just about what you want to do get a reaction or feeling or thoughts from him.
You need to treat yourself better than you have been - until you do, no one will treat you better, including him. Your self worth should not be related to his (or anyone's) treatment of you.
Hi KC, I personally wouldn’t respond. If he can’t even tell you what he’s talking about it can’t be that important. Unless he’s continuing a conversation from a previous day that he feels there was no resolution for. But you’re not a mind reader. So wait until he decides to be more specific so you don’t get sucked into an unnecessary conversation. Or buttered up for what his real intentions are. IE I can take the puppy Wednesday or wash your car Wednesday. You become happy than the money or divorce talk begins.
You got this.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
Hi KC, I personally wouldn’t respond. If he can’t even tell you what he’s talking about it can’t be that important. Unless he’s continuing a conversation from a previous day that he feels there was no resolution for. But you’re not a mind reader. So wait until he decides to be more specific so you don’t get sucked into an unnecessary conversation. Or buttered up for what his real intentions are. IE I can take the puppy Wednesday or wash your car Wednesday. You become happy than the money or divorce talk begins.
You got this.
I agree. He probably didn't intend to be cryptic BUT I have no idea what this is over. I do not want to talk about D stuff.
Ok - So H texted again just before midnight so i did respond this AM about what it was he needed.
He is bringing thumb drives to get a copy of our digital images over the last decade.
There has been some back and forth about time and if he was picking up the deer stand as well.
I'm trying to be as brief as possible. I'm not spinning. I'm taking it as it is. But, I just want to disappear. I want him to feel an absence and not have this slow weaning where he is just fine and thinks we are friends.
