Last night, my grandmother on my dad's side died. About 7 or 8 hours later, the grandmother on my mom's side passed as well.
Then, this morning, my W got frustrated with our D2 because she wouldn't cooperate, so she just left her sitting on the floor and walked away from her, down the stairs, and took the dog for a walk. I was just about to step into the shower when I saw my W walk past the bathroom door and out of the bedroom where my D was. She did not say a word or try to get my attention at all. If I hadn't seen her, then I would have gotten in the shower and our D would have been sitting there, alone, confused, and upset with nobody watching her.
When she got back, I told her that was not okay, and her excuse was that our D didn't want to be picked up, and I was in the next room (even though I was going to be in the shower).
I know parenting can be frustrating. If W makes a pattern of this poor behavior, then you should be concerned. Personally I would just document things, and be extra observant. You can set some boundaries if she doesn't change her behavior.
This is the template: "When you leave our 2YO daughter unattended, I feel .... If you ....I will..."
Did you validate how W was feeling? That does not mean you condone the behavior, just that you understand how she was feeling.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I know parenting can be frustrating. If W makes a pattern of this poor behavior, then you should be concerned. Personally I would just document things, and be extra observant. You can set some boundaries if she doesn't change her behavior.
This is the template: "When you leave our 2YO daughter unattended, I feel .... If you ....I will..."
Did you validate how W was feeling? That does not mean you condone the behavior, just that you understand how she was feeling.
Oh, there is a pattern (not specifically of leaving her unattended - though that is part of it), and I have been documenting it. I'm not sure what boundaries I can set, though. I don't really have much recourse when she does these things, outside of telling her that her actions are not okay.
I did not validate. I wasn't really worried about Dbing at the moment, but just trying to stand up for my D. Now, I did try to stay calm about it, and not just berate her for it. I just matter-of-factly stated that it wasn't okay, and the reasons why. I know, I probably should have said something recognizing her frustration and asked if she would just make sure I was aware if she needed to step away.
Number one priority is the safety of daughter. You can blend in BDing...This stuff is not easy....just prepare for the future...at some point, the validation and boundaries become natural. Thinking out what you could have done this time makes the next opportunity easier.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Not really anything new going on, just journaling a bit.
I'm pretty exhausted right now. A lot of it, is just a lack of sleep. I have been staying up pretty late (even as late as 3 am over the weekend), but not sleeping in any later. Staying up late has always been my natural tendency. Of course, as I got older and got stupid responsibilities, like a job, I've had to cut back. I used to try to go to bed around midnight, but lately, I've been up past 1 almost every night, and on the weekend until 2 or 3. Last night was the first night I got to bed "early" and that was probably just before 11:30. I did that because I was just completely drained yesterday.
It's not all sleep, though. There has of course been the stress of this entire marriage situation, and that's been weighing on me since October (probably longer as I had concerns about how things were going before that), the inability to see and doing things with friends, and more recently, the deaths of my grandmothers. I also have school stuff I'm working on, which if it was just something I had to do, wouldn't be an issue. However, it requires me to push my brain harder, both intellectually and creatively, so it's an added strain.
I haven't slept in at all, because I still have to go to work, and my W's job sent her back into the field for a few weeks, so she has to get up earlier, and so my daughter has to get up earlier, which means I'm awake earlier.
My wife has been angry and very cold with me since we discussed things concerning the divorce and she did not like the outcome. More than that, she just seems very unhappy in general. Her tone with our D often has just kind of a, "I don't care," feel to it. Like she's going through the motions.
I've been trying to continue to stay positive and upbeat, and still focusing losing weight, being there for my daughter, and doing things to better myself, as much as I can. I'm just tired.
I just want to close my eyes and sleep right now, but come tonight, around 10 pm, for whatever reason, I'll get a burst of energy and stay up late again.
Good sleep is VITAL. Change your habits and ensure you get at least 8 hrs of quality sleep. Go to bed at no later than 10 PM. Avoid coffee in the aftrenoon and evening, avoid distracitons such as videogames and TV an hour before sleep. IF that does not help, talk to youd doctor. You might try melatonin suplement. Sleep is CRUCIAL!
I will never be able to go to bed at 10. I mean, I could go to bed, but I would just lay there for hours, awake.
I also would have no time for myself if I went to bed at 10. After 10 is the only time I have to do things that I want to do. Things I enjoy doing (outside of just spending time with my daughter). Things for me.
I just need to force myself to stop whatever I'm doing at midnight and stop extending my evenings. There's just so much I want to get to.
