Moving onto a better life. That's what this next chapter of my life is going to be titled. Things with my GF couldn't be better. I'm so much happier than I was with my XW the last few years. It took me awhile to realize the marriage wasn't that great (blame goes equally to me and XW).
I introduced my daughters to GF and her daughter. It went great. I hope this isn't just limerance. I don't think it is.
The girls are adjusting well. Older daughter is having a great start to the gymnastics season. Younger daughter has some emotional swings, but she is such a sweetheart. Both girls continue to ace school. My relationships with them have never been better.
My job is going well. My boss is really happy with my work. I'm due for a big bonus in February.
The only downside is we haven't sold the house down south yet, and it's causing financial stress (the bonus will help alleviate that). We closed in May and had several closing dates lined up. One thing after another. Most recently, was the water heater breaking and flooding the basement and putting our buy in jeopardy (closing date on 12/30). XW and I are splitting the huge mortgage. That plus the mortgage at my new house, Christmas, etc. has not allowed me to take advantage of my salary and flight benefits, so that's disappointing. I haven't had to worry about money in close to 25 years, so maybe the Good Lord is just humbling me.
Sounds great Harvey! I hear you on being humbled on the financial side, XW and I were on track to retire comfortably at 60 and now after D and being 58, my retirement age has changed to..... never LOL!
I had a really down day. I haven't had a day like today in months. It's weird. XW came over. Super cheery, like we are BFFs. She's sort of been this way since she introduced her BF and found out about my GF, but it hasn't bugged me much. Daughters had a hard time getting along. My GF had to cancel our dinner plans. Felt really alone and kind of sad. It probably has to do with it being the holidays and missing out on family traditions. I'll be better tomorrow, but it shows how hard this can be. That is all. Tomorrow will be better.
I was going to write to you the other day as I was skimming through your sitch. Every thing seemed to happen pretty quick for you. Most people suggest to not seriously date until a year after divorce. Now I know everyone is different but it sounds like you haven't work through some of your feelings and learned to be alone.
I was going to write to you the other day as I was skimming through your sitch. Every thing seemed to happen pretty quick for you. Most people suggest to not seriously date until a year after divorce. Now I know everyone is different but it sounds like you haven't work through some of your feelings and learned to be alone.
Something to think about.
I met my GF in early April. I told her I wasn't ready to start dating. We didn't start dating until late August. I'm not too concerned that I started dating too soon. I haven't had many setbacks the last few months. I'm good now. I think the holidays are tough the first year or two after a divorce, so I think some sadness is to be expected. I had a really good weekend with the girls (saw the new Star Wars). We'll have a great time on Christmas Eve, and then I'll enjoy some time with my GF.
Not much has changed. Doing well. My relationship is maybe coming out of the limerance stage, but it's not unexpected. We are celebrating five months together today.
XW still texts me a lot about the kids, and even some other things (wishing me Merry Christmas and telling me she thought about my deceased Dad on his birthday). I don't believe it's temp checking. She's never shown any inclination that she regrets anything, and her relationship appears to be strong. It's more that we have a cordial parenting relationship, and she now feels safe opening up because she knows I have a GF.
It's hard to stop thinking about what happened though. I think this will be my last mental hurdle. Somebody posted about Joe Dispenza, and I found his videos fascinating. I've started to incorporate some of his teachings. I'm trying to train my body and mind to focus on a positive future--rather than cycling through the past. Then again, men who I know that got a divorce they didn't want told me it would take awhile to get over my XW. It took all of them at least two years and up to five years before they fully moved on.
I do enjoy my time with the girls. I don't have my XW critiquing all my parenting moves. I can raise them as I see fit. That's refreshing. Work is going well. Still haven't sold the house down south. Prospective buyers terminated the contract after the flooding in the basement. We have it off the market while it's being repaired. I can't wait until that house is off my hands.
It's been a long time. Nothing new to report on XW (co-parenting well and that's it) or GF (things are progressing nicely).
This is a very stressful time. I work for an airline, and we've been told that 75% of our department will be laid off for 1-3 months, at least initially. (First they are asking for volunteers to take an unpaid leave of absence.) The layoff will last for however long it takes for the hysteria to die down. Horrible timing for me. I still have the second mortgage on the house down south. For the fifth time we had a closing date set (something always came up and every deal has fallen through). Now, the buyers want to push the closing date back "because of the virus." This house + other issues that have come up (basement damage in house down south because of broken water heater and basement damage in house up north because of sump pump overheating) have put a drain on my finances. I can afford a couple of months of being laid off, but not much more than that. I'm feeling some very real consequences. I just pray that things turnaround relatively soon.
My GF is a hospice nurse with a lot of clients in nursing homes who she can no longer attend to, so she's facing unemployment as well.
I've had to be a rock for my daughters and for my GF, but I appreciate this forum being a place I'm able to relieve some stress.
I'm out of work for the next three months. I'll be able to get by--although the Georgia house (double mortgage for a year, deductible from the water damage in the basement, several thousand dollars wasted on a problem with the sprinkler system last summer) depleted a good chunk of my savings. I'm just hoping this doesn't last too much longer because there will be serious ramifications at my job (mass, long-term layoffs) if it continues for awhile.
On a positive note: the Georgia house finally sold a couple of weeks ago. Big stress relief. Girls are doing well--all things considered.
Life is melancholy for me. I'm really tired of being cooped up alone half of my time (when I don't have my daughters). As I said before, my GF is a hospice nurse (they are facing their own layoffs). She's rightfully worried about getting the virus because she doesn't want to put people at risk primarily and doesn't want to be out of work secondarily. Thus, we haven't seen much of each other for a month and a half, and it's put a weird strain on the relationship. Not even sure how to describe it.
I'll just keep trucking on because that's what I do.
