as someone with a close family member (brother from another mother) battling this disease, you don't want it. argue about it all you want. trust me when i say the struggle is real for those who have this and thank God his version is mild.
A dear friend in Cali's partner is flying out Sunday to NYC, heavily recruited as an X-ray tech to work at a major hospital there on the Covid floor. He wants to be of service, despite having weak lungs. It's a potential suicide mission for him, but he's going to go because that's what he's trained to do and he wants to help.
If staying home keeps anyone safe, I too am all for it. The old argument about willing to lose some freedom for potential safety - yes, someone else's, not necessarily my own.
I'll shut up now. Carry on.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Don - There’s a great YouTube video you can google “Urgent messages from Italians in quarantine” if you haven’t watched it already. I hope that your part of the country doesn’t experience what this part of the country is experiencing. I personally have a family member that just died from it and know plenty of people who have family members that have died or are dying. I think the media is probably under reporting a lot of the stuff that’s going on too. Like my friends grandma died in a nursing home - and no coverage even though others were sick too and it was not labeled as corona cause they didn’t want to waste the test on her. They act like they have tests - but they don’t.
My guess is that our mass transportation system and infrastructure was what made it worse here. Also they relied on businesses to shut themselves down instead of initially mandating very greedy corporations to shut down for the safety of their workers and their families.
But I just saw mass protests out west - my god! No one knows how this will effect them for sure. I think underestimating it sends a dangerous message
Happy Friday! It feels weird as it's difficult to keep track of what day it is. Perhaps a good thing that I have one of those "pill a day" boxes to organize my meds
I spent some time working on the rabbit hutch last night and am getting close to getting it done. Putting on the top floor was quite the nuisance. I ended up having to disassemble the framing to get it in. My workshop won't be the same after all this as I'm having to search through the shelves for random fasteners as I run out of screws and my scrap wood stacks are pretty low. Undoubtedly a good thing. I still have to figure out the wire doors on the front. I've seen a few that should work that are easy.
This weekend's goal is to get the bottom floor done and perhaps a bit more. My workshop in the cellar has very limited headroom so I do find working down there a bit tiring. Once I get it put together I'll move it to the enclosed front porch which is where it may stay for now. Or not.
A blog post on another site plus the current circumstances have me wondering about my ex-wife who has been on my mind a fair bit lately. I'm confident that she doesn't want anything to do with me and that is mutual. Even though we had - at least looking through rose coloured glasses - a lot of good years - the ending and the apparently callous way she threw it all away can't be set aside. I send her her money every month. I suspect she's socking it away for retirement but don't know. I just sent payment 30 of 77 via e-transfer. I never get any sort of acknowledgement back. In about 4 years I'll need her to do some final paperwork to take her name off of one of my insurance policies and then that's that.
I've got it a lot better than many who have to interact with their ex spouse or are fed or snoop out information. It's really as if she doesn't exist at all. I purged her out of much of my social media in a snit one day quite a while ago and so unless I'm looking at old pictures for some reason, most days she doesn't even cross my mind. Which is good because then there are no fresh hurts.
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Some good news / odd news on the job front. As many here might suspect, I'm an "IT" guy. Been doing it for a "lot" of years. With my current employer for about 17 of them. Did a lot of free-lance back in the day. I like to think that I'm pretty good at it because I try to focus on what the purpose of the things I build are for the business. I had a recent chat to the president of the division closest to where I live - the acid plant - and he's now set up a plan to transition me to essentially be his backup. The way it's been talked to me in the past is in the context that I would be his successor but I think that those sort of thoughts are pretty premature. It's now become more official as of yesterday. I may get a new title. I got a new hat a while ago.
I have a "lot" to learn as while I know a lot about the business from a process point of view, the day to day sort of things I have no clue on. Much of what I need to learn is standard clerical stuff that keeps the business operating. I have about 10 online safety training courses to go through as well.
It's a nice logical progression. Generally speaking I like the company and the people. Being involved in this plant means as well that even if the company restructures yet again, which is not out of the question, that the plant will continue and my role with it. I have to earn it though through hard work.
Business continues to slow down for the non-critical customers. Both of our plants seem fairly busy though as we continue to supply in to markets that will continue to operate. I was surprised to find out that one of our divisions is only now transitioning staff to working remotely. A couple of people have been put on reduced hours but most are staying active.
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Going out this morning for my weekly trip in "to town". Stopping at the post office to see if there is any mail and then groceries. I'm going to a different store than usual as there are some things on the list that I need that aren't at my regular store and I want to minimize how many places I stop at. One of S13 prescriptions is ready for pickup too and I'll do that and drop it off so that S doesn't have to go out. I've been promised a smooch.
I'll be taking time away from work (I put in lots of hours already) to do this as I figure that it will be less busy late on a Friday morning than on the weekend when I'd normally go. I have my mask clean and waiting by the door for me. I've debated ordering a couple. The people who I would normally buy bow ties from have switched their production to fabric masks and there are some cool designs as they re-purpose the cotton, silk or microfiber cloth they normally use. While I hope that this will all be over - any day now - I suspect that the new normal for probably through the summer at least will be social distancing and mask wearing. And if I have to wear a mask, why not be stylish - hmmm?
I've been writing here more than normal I know. It gives me a necessary outlet for my thoughts. I like to think that I'm not lonely although I am pretty alone. Interaction with S25 is perhaps 3 minutes / day as he passes by the office on his way to work. Now that S13 is with his mom, I've been seeing a lot less of her as well.
I think that for many of us, that we are going through this in the same way that we went through the stages of grief during our divorce. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I never had much anger but I'm still working around the other stages. Trying to find that place where I fit into the world that is around me.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Andrew - congrats! So very happy for you. That is nice news.
A while ago you mentioned you were seeking some alternative drinks. I believe you had your mind on non alcoholic wine but were finding they tasted pretty bad. I am wondering if you’ve tried any of the kombuchas on the market? We have really nice brands here in SoCal and a crazy assortment of flavors. There are very good alcoholic and non alcoholic brands.
Just thought I would mention as you are running to the market and may want to try some options if you have not already done so? S might like some of the non-alcoholic options.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Thank HaWho / bttrfly - Got back from the grocery store a short while ago. I have not tried kombuchas. Perhaps I will for me. S can't have it because it does have some alcohol in it but it's a small enough amount I think that it should be fine for me.
There is a sparkling drink that I had in Spain that was pretty good but I can't recall what it is at the moment.
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One funny to me - side effect of the changes in the grocery stores is that they direct the traffic by putting one-way arrows in the aisles now. I was waiting for the person ahead of me (who it turned out was texting their mother) and a few things ended up in my cart that happened to be right where I was stopped. Fresh chocolate chip cookies (from a pre-done mix) just greeted S25 as he got up for his shift. The shop was almost out of eggs for some reason so I only got one dozen. We eat a "lot" of eggs here. S25 told me later that there's a posting on the bulletin board at work for farm fresh eggs for less than what they are at the grocery store so we'll probably start doing that. I joked that he'll need to come for dinner every Sunday so that he can deliver the eggs.
More people wearing masks but not a lot. One young lady was surprised and a bit flattered when I complimented her's. It had skull and crossbones on it and I was curious where she got it. A friend made it for her. I've reached out to a seamstress in the village who mainly does wedding dresses and such to see if she can make me some. I know that she's done a good number on a volunteer basis for health care workers.
S25 chatted a bit before he headed off for work. He's pretty pleased that he's now full time with benefits. He's started to look for an apartment but not put a lot of effort in to it yet. So perhaps my assumption he was going to be staying with his mother is off. I do honestly have no idea what his relationship is with her but I can't see it being a very close one. It hasn't been since he was S18 and moved out for the first time. I'm grateful that we seem to have a pretty solid relationship but then, I'm the parent he sees every day who makes sure that there's food in the fridge, bills are paid etc and treats him with dignity and respect.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Today's forecast. Scattered sunshine and breezy. First load of laundry out on the line. Second load has to wait because S is sleeping on it. She and S13 and the dog came over yesterday afternoon to spend the weekend.
Her little dog - who is perhaps too smart for me - woke up when I got up for my breakfast, S13 let her out of his room, she came right downstairs, visited the yard and then right back up to curl up in bed with "Mom". I think I'm being trained buy a critter who barely comes up past my ankles.
Despite superficial appearances, I do tend to think hard on what people here tell me. It just takes time to get through my thick skull sometimes. More and more from what I see and what I've read, I do think that S does fall in part into the "love addict" mold. Not that any one label can completely describe something as complex as a human being nor the interactions between them. She's certainly been struggling in the last week or so when we've not been able to spend much time together. She said that she hadn't slept in over 24 hours when she came over. Up to recently, I've been classifying how she behaves and communicates with me as just being dramatic and enthusiastic. It may actually be part of who she is. It may also be that she is having limerence for longer than I have. She is diagnosed with ADHD and is on medication for that so that may be a factor as well. She's commented that she has a reputation for being "flighty" which has a certain amount merit. We've found that for us it can work well. She sees and notices so many things simultaneously where I have the drive to focus and get things done. We've recognized this and used it to our advantage more than once.
On the one hand, this is a bit of an ego boost to have her continuing to be so attracted even after all this time - about 7 months now. It's not as if I can do no wrong in her eyes, it's just basic attraction. The cynic / realist in me can wonder if this is a facade. I doubt it but that can't be completely discounted even again - after this time. With pretty much all of my romantic relationships - not that there's been a lot - there has been that immediate intense attraction by the other person. In some cases it was sustainable and became a comfortable day to day thing like my marriage, or the person went on to another target, or ended when it was obvious that it was being forced like with B last summer.
For me, now that I have a specific plan and date, I'm settling into the landing path towards co-habitation. I want to make sure that this works for the long term which I have practice with and S doesn't. That's where it's too bad that we can't see her IC and have some help working that out. My reading on the topic hasn't been clear - perhaps my confirmation bias clouding things. The normal target for a love addict is a love avoidant that they chase after but never really catch. I'm an old dog sitting on a log and pretty darned easy to catch. Scratch my belly and I'll follow you home.
A friend of mine, who's not even divorced yet, has been dating a woman for about 3 months now. She's pushing him to get married and her move in. They each have good professional jobs and big houses. My friend is pushing back because he's not ready and that he wants his two girls to be safely launched first. I'm watching to see how that turns out.
I have heard back from my lawyer. They have closed their office but will be happy to do up the pre-nup when they re-open.
Going to keep my eyes and ears open. Do some more reading. The key here I think is making sure that each of our expectations are matched with the reality we build together. We each have things we enjoy doing separate from the other. Preserving that and respecting that is I think part of the path as well.
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In other news, the local seamstress that I contacted is going to do up 2 masks for me which I can pick up tomorrow. She's refusing payment despite me pushing to pay. She'd set herself a goal to make 100 masks and is up to 80. She most likely will get business from me for bow ties for the wedding. As well as a bit of free press.
This weekend's plans are to try to get the rabbit hutch more or less done. I can visualize the last few construction steps and am only stuck on how to do the doors in the wire. There's 2 or 3 ways that I can do them all of which will work just fine.
S13 mentioned that he's going back to his Dad's on Monday so I expect they'll be staying here until then. He's going to perhaps learn how to mix plaster and patch walls.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Andrew - have you read up on adhd? Amen has a good book on it describing different types. It might be helpful for you to understand the brain chemistry behind it. It’s more then just being scatter brained and losing your keys but good at multi tasking. Many adhd people thrive on conflict and learning how to approach it might help you to prepare.
