kas~I did the same thing as you and completely shut off the media because it was too much for me. I try to stick with local news that I access online and don't listen to the rest. I am sorry I don't chime in more on your posts but I do keep up with everything going on. You are growing so much.
1st BD December 26, 2008 PA admitted to by XW December 29, 2008
2nd BD May 23, 2019 Daughter confirms EA Divorce Finalized July 18, 2019
When all the news hit the air waves about the health crisis, I watched it all and since it has been going on for quite some time, I only watch 1/2 hour of the news in the evening and that's it. It's a scary and depressing time w/the way things are playing out. I have found that the more I watched and listened, the more my anxiety level went up, so for my own peace of mind...1/2 hour is all I can take of this news. I often wonder what is happening w/the all of the other news worthy news these days.
I can see your growth more and more as you post. You sound so much more stronger and self-confident. So, what is your next cooking lesson? You've done pizzas...now what does your daughter want to try next?
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
kas~I did the same thing as you and completely shut off the media because it was too much for me. I try to stick with local news that I access online and don't listen to the rest. I am sorry I don't chime in more on your posts but I do keep up with everything going on. You are growing so much.
I'm challenging myself to only post or say out loud positive or ways that I've grown. I'll sometimes write a negative post and usually I'll catch myself before I hit send.
S19 asked H if he'd buy me a lawnmower like he promised. H said he couldn't afford it. D14 told me H spent a lot of money on her and I got upset, said things I now regret. H ended up sending me a $200 check and I told D14 because she was feeling guilty. It wasn't her fault I know. I was just angry. D14 was happy he sent me money and I got angry again. He makes so much more than me and I'm supposed to be happy he sent me $200? I thought she's a child she has no idea how little $200 really is so I enlightened her. Yeah I instantly regretted that too.
I've filed for D, I've cut expenses to the bone, so getting upset solves nothing it just brings everyone down. I think if I am grateful then it lets him off the hook but it's not really about him is it?
I have found that the more I watched and listened, the more my anxiety level went up, so for my own peace of mind...1/2 hour is all I can take of this news.
The news hit me hard yesterday so I stepped back and had an 80's movie marathon. I even got S19 hooked in (he's intrigued by the cars). Watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Weird Science, and Uncle Buck. D17 has already asked me if we can do it again tonight. lol
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I can see your growth more and more as you post. You sound so much more stronger and self-confident. So, what is your next cooking lesson? You've done pizzas...now what does your daughter want to try next?
Fake it till you make it right? lol She wants to learn how to bake doesn't seem to care what, cinnamon rolls, bread, waffles, pizza dough, etc.
Omg yes!! Last night we watched Summer School and Real Genius. She says they make her happy and she loves the fashion. D17 hates fast fashion and therefore her entire wardrobe came from thrift stores. Her inspiration comes from the 70's and up (movies). Gets compliments everywhere we go followed by disappointing looks when they find out it's a one of a kind. She wants me to teach her how to sew so we can re-purpose thrift store finds. I just bought a vintage sewing machine and then COVID hit.
Y’all MUST watch Pretty in Pink. Molly Ringwald’s character is a whiz at selecting clothes from secondhand stores and sewing them into new things. 80s movies are my jam!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I'm bothered by some of the stories here. Wandered over the newcomers to check up on someone and left shaking my head. Some stories on this side worry me specifically about dating and money. I worry that people are making their lives sound greater than they are somehow. Yes I have trust issues.
At a year out I'm still in pain and sad. He's on my mind pretty much all the time. His face has faded from my brain (8 months NC). I ruminate quite a bit remembering how lonely I was when I was with him (it helps). Sometimes the OW pops in my thoughts and I deal with that by remembering who she's getting. I imagine since H thinks I'm the problem he won't evolve so she will get the same man I had. Besides change is difficult and PAINFUL which is why most people don't do it. My changes have been at a snails pace yet I've already outgrown him.
There is more fun in my life now and I'm calmer. I laugh more, hug more, get more I love you's from my kids, they say I'm a better mom now. I stay busy, cling to these moments and try to have faith that one day I'll detach and reach indifference. I try to focus on the positives and gratitude (this helps a lot).
The triggers/anxiety are tough. H telling the kids to tell me something (I don't need your help go away). Me fretting that he's going to drive by while I'm outside. I've caught him a few times and OMG go another way. My next house is going to be in a cove. Me hearing that he's never home and imagining the fun he's having without me. Just seeing his signature on the support checks gives me a hit of pain.
This is where I am one year from when he moved out.
Y’all MUST watch Pretty in Pink. Molly Ringwald’s character is a whiz at selecting clothes from secondhand stores and sewing them into new things. 80s movies are my jam!
I'm listening to the soundtrack to the breakfast club at work. Makes me so happy!!!
