I got 36hr before he texted and since I didn't immediately respond he called.
Why did you answer?
Originally Posted by KitCat
H was supposed to drop things off when he picked up stuff. I called
You touched the oven again, twice. Avoiding conversations is your best shot to detach, gal, not make things worse, and let him miss you. This is tough stuff. We all have days where we goof. Time to reset. (:
I only answered because he needs his ID... the rest of the stuff he doesnt need.
Yes... there was no need for additional texts or calls...
When he didnt leave the stuff I should have let it go and not bothered.
I see my mistakes.
Its supposed to rain all weekend and that should prohibit him from getting bike and boat... it should give me a minimum of of 4 days of no contact from him.
Its supposed to rain all weekend and that should prohibit him from getting bike and boat... it should give me a minimum of of 4 days of no contact from him.
If you choose not to respond for 4 days, you'll have that for sure. (:
KC, any monkey's uncle could say, "Doh! You shouldn't have contacted him." While intellectually this is one of the easiest phases, emotionally we almost all struggled with implementing it. Chin up!
I know I'm still getting sucked in ---- I know that is because I still want recon and I am not working in my own best interest.
He just sent information text that he put money in the bank. He already told me he was going to do it so there wasn't a need for a text ---- I think its his way of admitting his own part in todays fiasco... but then I'm speculating.
I did not respond. It was an information text only.
I am chiming in here with an al-anon principle of giving someone the dignity to fail on their own. The more you try to fix and help and solve his problems, the less time and energy you spend on yourself. If he forgets his ID somewhere - he is an adult man and can get it himself!
(Conversely, give him room to succeed on his own, too)
I am chiming in here with an al-anon principle of giving someone the dignity to fail on their own. The more you try to fix and help and solve his problems, the less time and energy you spend on yourself. If he forgets his ID somewhere - he is an adult man and can get it himself!
(Conversely, give him room to succeed on his own, too)
I see what you are saying - its just he left it at the house and wanted to get it. I cannot deny him his ID?
Legally I cannot bar him from the house and while he is pushing back on that he did back down based on my principle of needing my own space through this. I tried making a point of saying I have no idea where he is and I'm not showing up there announced or otherwise.
Its way to early in our sitch for him to have a change of heart or regret. I get that. His mind is made up.
I'm trying hard to pull back. And, I do really good NOT contacting him first. However, I did a poor job of repeating his texts to him today. I need to take action and remove myself from his banter.
I'm trying to get my strength and work on my issues that caused our M to collapse. I'm focusing on my future. I know if he can give me 4 days of no contact... like I have been asking for so long it will help me. How many times do I have to ask for space???
DO not write out that he is in love with her. Who he is in love with doesn't matter.
That he is a lying cheater is what matters. Write that out. I think you still have him held up as some ideal, something to be desired. He is not.
I think telling myself that not only does he feel he does NOT love me and loves her --- is my way of accepting the situation??? At least that is what I thought. Accepting the current reality?
And, if I like many people who come here are struggling in the Ms and hoping for recon isn't it more like he is nothing to be desired right now?
Or, is the principle he will never change. He will never notice my absence or have regret? I know that he will never come back unless he fears he has lost me even at that?
I believe you gave your W a timeline... a frame in which things had to change or else?
My timeline is one year. When the legal s is over if he hasn't had that wake up call I will know to move on. Until then I am trying my best to drop the rope.
Its supposed to rain all weekend and that should prohibit him from getting bike and boat... it should give me a minimum of of 4 days of no contact from him.
More expectations.
Expecting him not to contact you. Expecting it to rain. Expecting that the bike and boat won't be gone.
Que sera, sera. (Whatever will be, will be.)
Life is 10% what happens, and 90% how you react to it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
"How many times do I have to ask the sky to stop wetting my hair?" However many times it takes to realize that asking is ineffective, and to take personal ownership by carrying an umbrella.
Its supposed to rain all weekend and that should prohibit him from getting bike and boat... it should give me a minimum of of 4 days of no contact from him.
More expectations.
Expecting him not to contact you. Expecting it to rain. Expecting that the bike and boat won't be gone.
Que sera, sera. (Whatever will be, will be.)
Life is 10% what happens, and 90% how you react to it.
Crap ---- your right. :-(
All this expectation thing is kicking my backside.
And, I reacted terribly last night and today... I just making his point for him on why we are done.
