Aw, I’m glad to hear you guys enjoyed S2’s little tidbits. I bet you have lots of happy memories between four kids, DnJ!
My lawyer informed me that my consent orders have already been filed and stamped by the court. Jeez. That only took a week. So I’m busily finalising the mortgage refinance. Getting a great deal due to fallen interest rates that I’m locking in for three years. I’m so thankful to have future-proof employment with the ability to WFH even while caring for S2.
I don’t believe in a higher power, but I have been very, very lucky over the last ten months. Even though my marriage ended abruptly and my old life crumbled away slowly, the path forward has always been signposted and illuminated for me. The timing of certain events has been uncannily perfect. Maybe that is God, I don’t know.
All I know is that I will never take anything for granted again. Health, loved ones, security, purpose, satisfaction.
I don’t believe in a higher power, but I have been very, very lucky over the last ten months. Even though my marriage ended abruptly and my old life crumbled away slowly, the path forward has always been signposted and illuminated for me. The timing of certain events has been uncannily perfect. Maybe that is God, I don’t know.
All I know is that I will never take anything for granted again. Health, loved ones, security, purpose, satisfaction.
Hope you are all staying safe out there.
That is lovely scout. I believe the lucky ones are lucky because they can see the good things that are happening around them. PMA! Hopefully through this global crisis, everyone will come out a little stronger and more appreciative of the people around us. I'm happy for you that you have such a positive outlook despite everything that has happened with your M.
Scout, we make our own luck. Don't minimize your efforts and your strength. You have made the good things in your life happen. I'm a big believer in signposts and use that analogy with my children frequently. Little reminders when we are off track to get back on and when we are on to stay there. Yes, your S sounds like a wonderful little boy. Get a diary and record the things he says. Those are worth preserving. The kids and I have many a pleasant memory both in the saying of those things and in the reliving of them.
Good news - my mortgage refinance was approved yesterday. I was a bit nervous about my application due to all the uncertainty with banking and the housing market, but my financial situation is solid, so it looks like it's full steam ahead. This will ensure there are no roadblocks on my end to removing XH from the title of the marital property which is now mine. I'm looking into getting all the locks changed as soon as possible! I will also be able to close the existing joint bank account which will sever the final 'business' link between us. I'm very happy about the settlement progressing so quickly.
Emotionally, I'm also very happy. I don't spend much time thinking about XH or the marriage what with all this Covid-19 stuff. Not zero time, but not much time. The time I do spend isn't emotionally charged. I've stopped reading infidelity blogs and articles. Hearing my cousin's experience with the family court really shook me. She and her ex have multiple DVOs against each other, their five kids have witnessed verbal and physical abuse between them, she fears for her kids' safety when they are with their dad, and she is broke from all the legal fees after six years of fighting.
No matter how I feel about XH's infidelity and abandonment, fighting about it is not worth the risk of being stuck in such an awful situation years down the road. I'm still seeing my psychologist about once a month to keep me on track with putting this all behind me, but I'm feeling pretty close to 'meh' at this point (ten months out). As in - yeah, that happened; yeah, it hurt; but it's just another chapter of my life story now. I'm content with my life and looking forward to the future. I don't regret the past but that chapter is permanently over.
My olive branch about parenting doesn't seem to have been accepted. I haven't heard anything about starting the extended visitation schedule that XH requested six weeks ago, despite me agreeing with 90% of the request. I've heard nothing from him asking whether visitation will be affected by any lockdowns or shutdowns and what the contingency plan is. Have heard no inquiries about S2's health or how he is coping with the change in circumstances. But none of that matters! It doesn't affect me or S2 in any material or emotional way. We are happy and safe together.
In other news, I've ordered S2 a new bed as he has outgrown his cot. Any tips for getting toddlers to stay in their bed?
It is nice to read how detached and indifference you are becoming.
I found for the kids bed. Just put the mattress on the floor. Kids will get out of bed, this way they can get back in easily. And they don’t fall out and get hurt. Just a mattress, no box spring, no legs - nothing gets lost or stuck under the bed either.
I never thought of it until now - no where for monsters under the bed.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Congratulations on the mortgage refinancing! A huge load has been lifted off your shoulders with this action being processed very quickly.
Please stay safe and healthy.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
scout ~ If S2 feels uncomfortable in his bed, you can also try a temporary railing. Some kids like feeling safe that they won't roll off the side of the bed. Kind of like training wheels
oh I miss the toddler years!! I used to put those child proof door knob covers on their doors so they would not be able to escape from their rooms. I remember my eldest walking around in his room during "nap time" and talking to himself, and eventually falling asleep on the floor with his blanket. Soon enough they will learn it's more comfortable to fall asleep in bed.
