Well she severely underestimated me and all I ever did was DB her after about the 1.5 months. I have never stepped once in her direction and she never made any obvious moves towards me so at this point it is what it is.
She has been dating him for over 2 years, he has met our mutual friends and she recently told me that she took him out to CA with her to meet her family. But when it comes to me he is a no show and doesn't show his face.
Meeting her family doesn't necessarily mean a long term solution either has her parents are whack jobs.
I have made it clear to her that I want to meet him and an open to doing so. When she told me on Sunday I wasn't going to get to all I said was....oh that stinks, I was looking forward to meeting him!
It very well could be a combination of both.
So DH....I am trying to meet the guy but I am not going to beg for it. I have made my intentions clear to the XW. I will follow up again at some point if she doesn't voluntarily make it happen.
I remember when she first told me about him the first words out of her mouth was that he is 5'6.
I remember when she first told me about him the first words out of her mouth was that he is 5'6
That is just a weird thing to say. I mean of all the possible things to say... he’s really nice to me, he’s a car salesman (or whatever) he’s very funny, he’s an ex cop, he’s from California, I mean I could fill up the rest of this thread with potential first statements and still never get to he’s 5-6 as the first thing she tells you. Lol.
I do have to jump in with LH, it would not at all surprise me if she bailed tomorrow. Then again we are trying to explain the actions of a WAW/WW. They don’t tend to start making more sense even years after they dropped their bomb and moved on. The stuff I’ve been told my WAW has done... omg. Perhaps another reason I’m as close to “her” kids as I am and they, at least her daughter and SIL, have little to do with her and her S3.5 at the time of her daughters birth asked who that woman was. “That’s your grandma” he was told to which he said “no she’s not, that’s my grandma” pointing to his fathers mom. But I digress - just that we could all go broke trying to figure out why a WAW or WW or ex does and says what they do. Just don’t let her bring you to her level. Keep being the adult ready and willing to meet.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I think you’ll be put at ease when you get to meet him and see how your kids interact with him.
She probably knows you would make fun of his height, so that’s the first things she mentioned. She’s probably not physically attracted to him and doesn’t want you to laugh at him ( on the inside, of course)
I hope he is really a decent dude. Table manners are cool. Eating your vegetables are cool. I probably wouldn’t like chicken every day. But I hope he is teaching these things kindly.
I agree hopefully he is, we shall see how it all goes down tonight. My x doesn't have to justify anything to me. She made her choice, didn't place value on what I had to offer so it is what it is. Own your decision, be happy with it and go create the life you envisioned when you tapped out of our marriage.
I am sure she is very insecure about bringing him around me because she knows he doesnt measure it. I do agree with D on that one. She just needs to own it and worry about her own happiness.
Just got back from the party and not much to report. It did feel a little weird at first. The Doc kissed me a couple of times and that felt a little awkward. I kind of expected my XW to come over and talk to her a bit one on one but that didn't happen. They did hug when the evening was over with though so that was positive. The X was stand offish most of the evening, not in a rude way, just not interacting like i thought she would. IF her BF was there I would have totally went up and attempted to talk to him in order to get to know him. The XW did not do that at all. There was no one on one interaction with the Doc at all.
My oldest was awesome. she didn't act like it bothered her at all. She hugged the Doc and they chatted but my youngest not so much. She seemed to be processing it all.
The X's BF didnt show but she made it sound like he was at her place waiting for them to get back. Not sure why he didn't stop by after work. At the end of the evening we were all talking and I told everyone at the table I was looking forward to meeting him. It was just a small group of people, close friends, and the Doc had left to get her son to bed.
The way my X talked at one point it was almost in a defending way as our mutual friend was asking if he graduated from nursing school. I am sure me dating a Dr contributed to that. The X handled everything just fine but I could tell she seemed insecure about it. I am sure it was a little awkward for her as well.
I feel better that this first meeting is out of the way. I guess for someone that actually wanted the D is expected a little bit more from her.
Just enjoy - you get to live the ultimate LBS “revenge” fantasy (even if you are way anove it).. she left and you found someone more accomplished and better looking. Hah! Great stuff! You should go and post the story in newcomers... “Wife cheated and left and I ended up in a great and healthy relationship with a gorgeous doctor”
I think she traded down and is embarrassed. She doesn’t want to give you the satisfaction cause she knows That you know. And she doesn’t seem super happy.
I’m glad it went smoothly and you feel better after the meeting. I’m 100% confident he was not there but your ex didn’t want him to be. I suspect the little guy will be getting his walking papers soon. You have always been one of my favorite people on the board and I am so happy that everything has worked out great for you.
