The Doc is confirmed going to the birthday party on Thursday and she is actually going to bake the birthday cake. One of her hobbies is baking and she actually makes really good cakes/cupcakes and has really elaborate decorating skills, etc. She buys high end ingredients, etc. and actually takes her baking to other doctor's offices when she goes marketing to the primary care physicians. She hones her skills when she was going through her divorce as an outlet to get her mind off of things.
I am still a little nervous about her and my X meeting. I guess it will just feel a little weird. The Doc is very touchy feeling, is always wanting to sit by me, touch me, hold my hand, rub my leg, my back, my arms, etc etc. I just don't want it to be portrayed as her trying to rub it into my XW's face or me trying to either. I honestly really don't care what the XW thinks but knowing that I have to co-parent with her for the next 10 years sits in the back of my mind. I also don't want the Doc to feel like I am not with her either. I hope that makes sense.
Our R continues to progress at a steady pace, neither one of us pressuring the other. I now spend about 4 to 5 nights a week at her place during the weeks that I don't have my girls. I used to just go over and HHH for a couple of hours and then go home to my place and sleep. She now has me spending the night, being at her place before her son goes to bed and is now ok with her son waking up and me being there. Before I would always go over after he went to sleep. She very rarely spends the night at my place so when it is my week to have the girls we won't see each other at all during the week.
Her XH being in ICU still has obviously hurt our free time together as she now has her son full time. Her mom lives close though and she will at least take him one night on the weekends so we can have a date night.
I have also started to spend more time with her son as well. When I have my girls and there is no school he has now started to spend the days with us, hanging out and playing. It is good for him as he gets to play with other kids, it's good for the Doc so she doesn't have to spend money on sitters and make arrangements for his care and it is good for the kids so they can continue to get comfortable with each other.
The topic of marriage comes up every now and then. The other day the doc said she was in no rush, for my part I am not either. Quite honestly it really overwhelms me thinking about it. Neither one of us need each other for anything which helps us not pressure each other. There are times I wish I could see her more but at the cost of rushing into marriage, etc it's just not worth it. Yes, there would be financial benefits to it, really for the both of us but it's just not enough at this point to force something to happen.
She just makes me feel really comfortable, I don't emotionally feel out of sorts, I find myself being very even keel and not sacrificing myself or the needs of my daughters to be with her or make something happen. I have had some general conversations with my girls about the Doc as it regards to our future, moving forward. I told them some day we could be moving and my youngest got a little upset as we live in the house she was born in. However that quickly faded when I told them that maybe our next house would have a pool
Your life seems to be moving along exceptionally well. You've taken the time to build a wonderful relationship and you're making really good decisions. What the h3ll is wrong with you? We come here for entertainment and you deliver normalcy. You need to step up to the plate bucko and start screwing the pooch. This is completely unacceptable.
I don't get the sense that the doc is a rub it in her face kind of lady so I imagine you are safe there. I'm a much more physically affectionate person than Sparky and I'm constantly touching him as the doc does you, but it isn't about putting it in someone's face. It is about him. I get what you mean about it being awkward though. I met my XH's current wife (and affair partner) at our youngest daughter's wedding. Talk about awkward! He has yet to meet Sparky but I'll have to introduce them at some point when he moves back to this area because we'll all be around the grandkids.
Doodler is on a roll today, but for once, I do not agree with him. Keep on keeping on with the normalcy!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Thanks guys, I know it will get easier after the first meeting.
I saw my oldest last night at soccer practice and she had a complete meltdown on the way home as I was talking her to her moms place. What started off as her being upset with something that happened at practice ended up with her telling me she did not do good on a math test and was afraid that her moms bf was going to yell at her. I then followed up and asked her what happened and she said I didn't know what 9x7 was and he told me I should know that.
I told my xw what she said and the x came back to let me know it was not a big deal and explained to me what happened. I guess I just have to trust her as there is not much I can do. It also sounds like to me she is allowing him to actively help her raise them. Imo he is just a bf and shouldn't be in that position, a position of doing something to make my daughter feel a certain way.
I told my xw what she said and the x came back to let me know it was not a big deal and explained to me what happened. I guess I just have to trust her as there is not much I can do. It also sounds like to me she is allowing him to actively help her raise them. Imo he is just a bf and shouldn't be in that position, a position of doing something to make my daughter feel a certain way.
If I heard something like that from my sons I'd be livid (as in really freakin' p*ssed off). I wouldn't be talking to my XW, I'd be talking to the BF and he'd d@mn well understand the consequences if it ever happened again. But, that just me.
The doc talked me off the ledge but there is literally nothing I can do and if I did something like that I wouldn't want to make it worse for my daughters. My xw is turning into her mother and I can only hope she is not as bad.
Maybe she didn't want to disappoint him. My daughters never talk about him to me and when it is their time to go to their moms they never complain about it. The only thing that they have said is that they get tired of eating chicken
