Hey May! I completely agree with the emotional spill over "hang over" next week. I have definitely had times where working so hard to keep it together only makes the crash after the fact that much harder. I thought of you today when a co-worker got some Sherry Berries for Vday. I totally indulged in my office and laughed thinking of you with your truffles. Spend some good self care time as much as possible in the next few days and remember to breathe as H gets home from his trip and with all of the craziness from friends visiting.
Cheers! KG
LBW 32 - me WW 31 T 7 M 4 No Kids 4 dogs
Separated 1y Navigating the mine field and GAL with or without
Ah yes, the emotional hangover. I used to think of it as 4 steps forward, 3 steps back.
I know the phrase is usually "2 steps forward, 1 step back". But the step back always felt so big - so I upped it to 3 in my mind. But overall I was making progress, so I had to make that part 4.
The steps back days are days to have extra sleep, and think before you speak (I was snippy on these days). Remember that they are part of the process - not your new normal.
BTW - I hope you're not sharing those chocolates out of guilt. I hope you're eating them. And I hope you sleep well tonight and that your guests don't take more energy than you can spare right now.
We haven't actually talked so I don't know what happened yet with AP. I *did* manage to get totally $hitfaced last night (not sure why I thought matching the guys 1-1 was a great idea) and did not feel super hot all day today. Have not drank that much in a loooooong time. But, it did end up being really fun and not stressful with my friends being here-- we had a lot of fun, great conversation, and then just hung out most of the day today chatting, made a big breakfast and got a little hair of the dog at a brewery in the afternoon.
Chocolates were amazing. No sharing. Thanks Yail
Will update more when we have the inevitable R talk. We're going camping with a big group of families tomorrow, so unless we talk tonight it might be a couple more days. He told me he loved me last night which is the only mention of anything we've really had. I thought I would be dying to hear what he has to say but I'm not, really-- still have the strange calm feeling.
Thanks Yail and KG for the notes about the upcoming emotional hangover-- I think I will absolutely need to prepare for that and have already scheduled yoga T/Th.
xx I am so grateful for all of you.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
I'm going to take a victory lap here. I could see this coming months ago. These limerence things never work out. Once he got a chance to really see what he was losing, the AP was history. So happy for you.
Sorry - I've been meaning to post. I've been reading along though and you sound like you're doing remarkably well.
One of the many things I've learnt here is how to maintain hope in the face of uncertainty and doubt, and also, when things were going well, how to not let that hope turn into expectation. Admittedly, I did not always put this knowledge into practice. Hope, doubt, uncertainty, expectation all going round and round.
You are not me. I sense in you an acceptance that whatever comes to pass will come to pass and you know you are going to be fine.
Carry on as you are. Others may not, but I have faith in your H because he reminds me of mine, but more importantly, I have faith in you.
Ugh lady. You are just so much the example of grace when dealing with this hot mess. I’m glad you are enjoying your time right now. I wish I could go camping! But it was umm like 5 F the other day. You’ll reach the R talk bridge when you get there. Time is on our side
May, I’ve been checking for updates all weekend! Hopefully all is good with H. Been thinking about your sitch so much, and I’m in awe of how you have dealt with the whole PA and trip situation. Sincerely hoping things are turning out the way you want them.
M:49 H:49 T:20 M:18 D:16 D:14
EA: Feb 2019-May 2020 Separated: Mar-early Aug 2020 H asked to reconcile: Jun 2020 EA relapse: Oct/Nov 2020 Recon #2: since Nov 2020
