That is a good question! I am attracted to him..... although he’s got this dorky cute thing going on which I like . It’s different for me. He’s not a drinker. Maybe one drink. And that’s new to me. And probably good for me, lol. He’s frugal like me. He’s not cheap, but he definitely isn’t a money waster
I think it’s his normalcy, really. Lack of baggage. He’s divorced, sure, but he’s got all of that pretty well handled good R with his kids..... his 17 year old lives with him full time. His 19 year old is away at college an hour away, but comes home every other weekend..... but he’a completely comfortable in his father hood role. He’s not obsessed with trying to prove anything to them like the last guy I went on the date with back on October. Or M . He’s dad, he’s cool with it, he spends time with his kids, his kids do their thing, and it’s all good.
He works to accommodate my schedule. Asks when I am free and when we can see each other. He plays 2 sports, and does them 2 nights a week. I don’t ask him to hang out then, but if it was important to me, for whatever reason, he would skip. Unlike M, who almost didn’t skip his stupid lake meeting for my birthday and to meet my family.
So, yeah, he treats me super well. He’s pretty normal and has got his stuff together. Does not fear an R. Wants to be with someone long term. It doesn’t scare him.
It’s good stuff. And maybe I’m used things being a wreck and so much effort. This seems almost effortless. And I really like that. Because lord, I feel like I take on some insane full time job with these men I date. Effortless is nice.
Plus he loves my dog and my dog loves him. That’s always a bonus! My dog was laying in between us with his head on E’s chest. It was pretty freakin’ cute .
All sounds like good stuff. You made a comment once that you don’t like the statement “women are more attracted to a man whose feelings are unclear”. You know where he stands because he needs reassurance he will be in your life in the future. Does that make him more attractive or less?
Would you be thinking about him more if you had no idea what the heck he was thinking?
Rhut rho G.......sounds like you might have a a R on your hands!!!! I get the sense though that you might not be blown away from an attraction stand point. Is that true?
Hmmmm... been watching videos lately about attraction and how it happens...and, more importantly, how it sticks around. It is human nature that everyone likes a challenge, in particular men. So the experts always advise that you walk this magical line of interested but not too interested...available but not too available...and that you don’t let the other person know that they’ve “caught” you until you are well into a relationship. In this modern dating world of swipe left and right, it seems particularly important as there is always another option if you get too comfortable or bored with the one you have. Maybe you are one of those people who likes a challenge and this has just been too easy for you?
It’s good stuff. And maybe I’m used things being a wreck and so much effort. This seems almost effortless. And I really like that. Because lord, I feel like I take on some insane full time job with these men I date. Effortless is nice.
Plus he loves my dog and my dog loves him. That’s always a bonus! My dog was laying in between us with his head on E’s chest. It was pretty freakin’ cute .
First of all - the dog’s opinion counts. Seriously - there are studies on it.
Second - people who grow up with chaotic or difficult parents often have a problem with being attracted to the same in partners because it’s familiar. You have to learn to be conscious of that tendency. And say to yourself “I deserve someone solid that I don’t have to pursue”.
Hmmmm... been watching videos lately about attraction and how it happens...and, more importantly, how it sticks around. It is human nature that everyone likes a challenge, in particular men. So the experts always advise that you walk this magical line of interested but not too interested...available but not too available...and that you don’t let the other person know that they’ve “caught” you until you are well into a relationship. In this modern dating world of swipe left and right, it seems particularly important as there is always another option if you get too comfortable or bored with the one you have. Maybe you are one of those people who likes a challenge and this has just been too easy for you?
Jumping in to say I had a conversation with a close guy friend recently about this and I basically told him to walk that line. I gave him examples of how not to be, and also of what I think works.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
It’s good stuff. And maybe I’m used things being a wreck and so much effort. This seems almost effortless. And I really like that. Because lord, I feel like I take on some insane full time job with these men I date. Effortless is nice.
Plus he loves my dog and my dog loves him. That’s always a bonus! My dog was laying in between us with his head on E’s chest. It was pretty freakin’ cute .
First of all - the dog’s opinion counts. Seriously - there are studies on it.
Second - people who grow up with chaotic or difficult parents often have a problem with being attracted to the same in partners because it’s familiar. You have to learn to be conscious of that tendency. And say to yourself “I deserve someone solid that I don’t have to pursue”.
Sounds good so far!
always trust your dog!!
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
