No problem. We don't want to be put into a situation whereby we have to drop the hammer on the posters for doing something they shouldn't. Thanks for understanding.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Greetings, I have been reading some of the stories on here about the pit falls of premature reconciliation. My MLC wife has not displayed any intentions of doing so but I thought it would be prudent to have a plan laid out should this occur. Any advice on how to handle such a sensitive situation? How do you turn them down without it driving them further into the tunnel? Thank you in advance.
Hoping to get some of your thoughts on a couple of questions.
1) How does one or is there a way to discern whether their spouse is actually in MLC or Bi-polar? Seems as though many of the symptoms are the same.
2) I have been reading some of the stories on here about the pit falls of premature reconciliation. My MLC wife has not displayed any intentions of doing so but I thought it would be prudent to have a plan laid out should this occur. Any advice on how to handle such a sensitive situation? How do you turn them down without it driving them further into the tunnel?
Did your wife display symptoms of bi-polar pre-crisis? If the answer is no, then she is most likely not bi-polar, but acting out in replay. The main ingredient of MLC is depression and yes, lots of confusion and they are emotionally charged because it is a very emotional journey that they travel. They were emotionally stunted at a very early age and when MLC bubbles up, well, emotions take over and you can't rationalize w/an emotionally charged individual. They become self-centered and very selfish. They lie, they exhibit mirror image behavior, i.e., the exact opposite of the person you know and love. They can experiment w/drugs, alcohol, affair partners, gambling and spending money like it is water. They truly go off the rails, i.e., one minute nice as can be and the next angrier than an old wet hen. They truly do not know what they want but they think a separation/divorce is the answer and that the rainbow has a pot of gold on the other side. They do not realize that happiness comes from within, not from external things.
As for exhibiting signs of reconciliation, it takes years for that to occur. If she is in replay, she's got a long way to go. The best advice that I can give you is to focus on today and allow tomorrow to reveal itself in due time. Keep the focus on you and what you need to do in order to survive this ordeal. Dig deeper for patience because this is a marathon, not a sprint.
Here is a link to a thread that discusses reconciliation:
There are a number of good threads under the Resources Thread at the top. You may want to visit that thread.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
