In the end it wasn't strength that won

[TBSakaJ9]

Oh wow......I have not been good about keeping up. Congratulations!!!!!!

[AndrewP]

A discussion on another thread got me thinking about this old story.

Years ago, my next door neighbour's husband passed on. He occasionally did some wood-working and had accumulated a large stack of wood, mostly oak and cherry to use "some-day". It varied in thickness, width and a lot of it was "live edge" which is a thing now, but back then wasn't.

His widow asked me to haul the wood to the dump for her. I persuaded her to just let me take it which was fine by her and so I put it in my wood rack in the shop where it stayed for some years.

In 2006 I decided to build my daughter a hope chest out of it. Since the wood was of varying thicknesses and the edges didn't match up it was a bit of a challenge. I was able to figure out how to edge join the board though by clamping them together and running the saw down between the boards. A few passes and even though it wasn't a perfectly square jointed edge the boards matched up. I was rather proud of this. It's an old trick used by carpenters to fit trim.

For the design, an old acquaintance was in the merchant marine and his daughter allowed me to take the dimensions from his old sea chest. At this point in time none of us knew that my daughter would eventually marry someone in the US Navy.

After I built it, I wrote this note and put it inside the lid. It's a reminder that waiting for "some day" or things to be perfect just means that you are waiting.

An acorn, saved by a hopeful squirrel for Some Day, sprouts, takes root and grows into a majestic oak tree. The oak flourishes until it's Some Day comes and it is turned into boards.

The boards are purchased and saved for a project that may happen Some Day. But that Some Day never comes and the boards are discarded but then saved by another for a Some Day project.

This time Some Day comes and with care the boards are measured and trimmed and become a chest. A chest created by love, time, and all because of an acorn, save by a hopeful squirrel for Some Day.

Now the chest has moved on, and will be used to save things, for Some Day

[Coconut]

Congrats Andrew, not sure I’ve ever posted in your thread but I’ve always followed along.. a proposal wasn’t a surprise, but I do believe a healthy dose of loving detachment will serve you well.. don’t lose the AP you’ve found, keep up with your daily walks (with or without S), your visits to the coffee, gift shop and flowers (that you want) for the house.. you’ve built great small town relationships and I’d hate to see you lose those..

[dream]

Congrats, Andrew! I'm not real surprised... I just thought you'd wait for her to be divorced first!! How long will the process take? I guess now (once married) you can cover S on your insurance so she doesn't have to worry about that.

Looking forward to hearing how everything falls into place!

[AndrewP]

Thanks for the further congratulations.

Dream - The divorce process takes a minimum of 2 or 3 months given the mandatory waiting periods. Given everything and the personalities involved, I'll be surprised if it's finalized before the middle of the summer or even the fall.

There was a laugh because we went for lunch at the cafe around the corner where S works part-time and the first thing out of one of her co-worker's mouth was "shouldn't you be divorced first?" We'll be getting a lot of that.

S and her S12 and dog are over for the weekend - currently watching TV with S25 while I get my budget up to date and read here a bit. I'm not a TV watcher myself.

S12 - who is a bit of a sh!t disturber pointed out to S25 that he needs to move out so that his brother can have his room. All laughed - I corrected that to be that this is S25's home and he only has to move out if he wants to. He does want to but that's beside the point (probably in April). I had a quiet word with S25 later assuring him of this, he laughed and shrugged and said that he knew he was being teased.

S still hasn't been able to get in touch with her son in Australia. She's sent him messages that she wants to talk but he hasn't gotten back to her as of yet. This is moderately typical from what I understand. From his end it probably is just a "oh - I should call Mom". The 15 hour time difference and trying to remember what time it is and where may be a factor. So - no pictures until he's been talked to.

The cats and dog seem to have come to a mutual ignoring state. The cats of course despise the dog. The dog is cheerful and doesn't care. She'll probably sleep with S12 again though just to keep any cat-ninja activities to a minimum.

Superbowl party here tomorrow. Many snacks will be consumed instead of Sunday Supper. S25 will be providing access to the game.

For those playing the home game - my cardiologist appt is now booked for mid May. Ultrasound and stress test - the usual "we're not too concerned" group. I've been doing reasonably well. My blood pressure is now reliably in the "warn" region with my new medication. I carried a bunch of heavy boxes at work up some stairs earlier in the week and stopped after the first 10 or so for a break and had nothing other than the usual "fat guy walking up stairs" effect. I fully expect my cardiologist to tell me to exercise more regularly and lose some weight.

[bttrfly]

Andrew, long engagements are a good thing. Enjoy each step of the journey.

BTW, are you walking daily? In all my erranding yesterday I walked double my usual steps and boy, did I feel it by the end of the day. My lower back hurt, I could barely move and my hamstrings needed to be stretched. I'm appalled at how unfit I've become.. I need to do that every day, so will certainly incorporate it into my lifestyle. I will be your walking buddy if you want. We can nag each other gently, of course. You need to re-gain your girlish figure for the wedding photos after all.

xoxoxo

[AndrewP]

Andrew, long engagements are a good thing. Enjoy each step of the journey.

BTW, are you walking daily? In all my erranding yesterday I walked double my usual steps and boy, did I feel it by the end of the day. My lower back hurt, I could barely move and my hamstrings needed to be stretched. I'm appalled at how unfit I've become.. I need to do that every day, so will certainly incorporate it into my lifestyle. I will be your walking buddy if you want. We can nag each other gently, of course. You need to re-gain your girlish figure for the wedding photos after all.

xoxoxo

Thanks bttrfly. I certainly believe that especially for an old "constitutional" (can't swear here) like myself that walking is absolutely the best form of exercise. Typically I'll go out for about 4 1/2 km or 1 hour on a Sunday. It has been hard to manufacture the time to walk especially now that S is spending more time over and I need to do something about that.

"Enjoys Long Walks" is a fiction on dating profiles. S does enjoy walking but can only go about a km or so. And it's not a priority for her. We do keep very different hours which is being navigated so that might help. She is very much a night owl and circumstances have obliged me to be a morning person. Using that time difference for walks is something that I've done a couple of times now. It helps that S's dog is a MaltiPoo and is a bundle of energy. She and I had some very pleasant walks on the weekend. Not quite up to what I need to be doing but the dog has very short legs. And it turns out becomes a ball of snow after she rolls around in it. Main floor laundry tubs are helpful. She and I are figuring out each other's ways. The cats are also getting more accustomed to having her around even if they aren't very happy about it. It helps that for most of the time that the dog is just a lump on the couch.

My weight is up since Christmas and I need to do something more serious about that. I managed to drive past the doughnut shop this morning without stopping. So that's a good thing. My new meds seem to be doing a good job of controlling my blood pressure, but I have work to do myself.

bttrfly -I have a friend who used to help keep me accountable, mainly by telling me of his achievements, but I think he's back-slid as well.

S wanted to "talk" on the weekend. She's been getting concerned that we are having different ideas about timelines and who will be doing what. So after her agreeing to this approach, I set up a brief "project plan" identifying benchmarks, dates, and assignments. S actually does the "formal meeting" thing well and seems to prefer it to just beating around the bush and not facing issues directly. I think that my list (which had about 30 items on it) was a bit much but she seemed happy with the detail.

What it boils down to - nobody is moving in full time until S25 - AT HIS OWN PACE - finds his own place. This is expected to be sometime in April or perhaps May. In the interim, S will be bringing over some clothes etc so that she doesn't need to pack a suitcase to stay over and we'll also be setting up an office / workspace for her in the front bedroom I use as an office. At one point it had 3 desks and two filing cabinets in it. Now it has 1 desk and a pillow for the cat to sleep on so that should be good.

We also talked about timelines for the wedding. "The fall" was perhaps a bit vague for her but she did agree that it is probably the earliest possible time and given the issues with getting her son from Australia may even be optimistic.

Much of this appears to have matched S's own expectations so we're all good.

S has also expressed some concerns about taste and decorating. She describes her own style as "bohemian" and mine as "traditional". Not completely wrong. I'm not attached to much of the decorating in the house and frankly don't like some of it. The conversation came around my quilt - which I bought for myself after my divorce and IS one of the things that I love. It has a traditional "country bride" pattern on it. She knows that I'm not giving it up although I have suggested that we consider changing things seasonally and reserving the quilt for the winter. Negotiations proceed.

We did talk about the fact that neither of us felt heard in our prior relationships and how our wants were minimized. I expressed concerns - which I think she heard - that I didn't want that to be repeated for me, nor for her. The fact that we recognize this and are trying to navigate it, is I hope a good thing.

One side laugh - now that S has her ring she's not being shy about waving it around. We've still not "come out" on social media due at least in part to the fact that her son hasn't been informed but all of the friends etc around us are very aware. S mused that she thought that my friend at the flower shop looked dissapointed and rather jealous. Since S and my ex-wife know each other, the odds are way higher than zero that their paths will cross at some point. She thought that my ex would probably put on a brave face but not bee very happy the next time that happens. They've not bumped in to each other since we've started dating.

The Super Bowl party was decent. It was just S, her S12, my S25, the dog and myself. We had thought that her S17 and D18 plus boyfriend might have wanted to come but they all had other plans. S made her "traditional" (not bohemian) meat-ball subs which were well enjoyed. I picked up some beer for S25 in part as a thank-you for making the game available and because football = beer. I myself had root beer and ginger ale out of respect for S's allergy. There was far too much food and snacks.

I did perhaps mis-interpret the idea of "grid-iron" and did my ironing for the first half of the game. Odd - none of the people on the field seemed to have much interest in laundry although I did sympathize with the guy in the Tide advertisements. Since I'm actually not a football fan, I cleaned the kitchen during the second half and was in bed before the game ended. I think that S appreciated the facts that not only were her efforts in making dinner appreciated but that the clean-up just happened. I did help slightly with dinner - some stirring and such. The chocolate chip / oatmeal cookies she made were tough to stir but very worth the effort.

Around midnight S came up to bed chatting animatedly with S25 about the game. She stayed over again last night as the local school board is on strike and there is no school today. Wednesday we're all off for a 3 day mini-vacation to celebrate S12 turning into S13.

[bttrfly]

bttrfly - I have a friend who used to help keep me accountable, mainly by telling me of his achievements, but I think he's back-slid as well.

Ok, I added the app and found you on it. How do you want to do this? I also met with a friend of my mom's who promises to help find two additional able bodied guys who, with my son will hopefully be able to get my free treadmill from my cousin's garage to my basement.

What it boils down to - nobody is moving in full time until S25 - AT HIS OWN PACE - finds his own place.

This I love.

S has also expressed some concerns about taste and decorating.

This entire conversation made me itch. I am further convinced that I will not ever co-habit with anyone.

I did perhaps mis-interpret the idea of "grid-iron" and did my ironing for the first half of the game. Odd - none of the people on the field seemed to have much interest in laundry although I did sympathize with the guy in the Tide advertisements.

Is it really a Super Bowl if my beloved Patriots aren't playing? Asking for a friend ...

[doodler]

¿Qué tal Andrés?

If you're feeling flaccid, you should checkout 3D printed boats using carbon/Kevlar/fiberglass. You can go from CAD to hull in a jiffy and it's light and strong. It's time to setup a hull printing factory.

[AndrewP]

Is it really a Super Bowl if my beloved Patriots aren't playing? Asking for a friend ...

Well S25 is a Bengals fan and he still thought it was a Super Bowl

¿Qué tal Andrés?

If you're feeling flaccid, you should checkout 3D printed boats using carbon/Kevlar/fiberglass. You can go from CAD to hull in a jiffy and it's light and strong. It's time to setup a hull printing factory.

The challenge with alternate and composite materials is that yes - they can be quite light but they have particular properties. A friend of mine is a chemist working in this area. The thing to remember is that the materials you mention are just the fibre part of the equation. 3D printing is usually done with a resin alone.

The shape of the material as well as an understanding of the material's properties is key. Fibres like kevlar, fiberglass etc are quite strong under tension. Wood on the other hand is strong under compression. With a composite fiber / resin construction you suspend the fiber in resin but don't necessarily get something structural. A flat, unsupported panel will be quite flimsy. That is why for most fibreglass construction they actually use a "matt" as the substrate to pour the resin over. You can get a level of rigidity by altering the shape and building some sort of lattice / comb structure or by adding on other parts to stiffen the structure.

Years ago I worked with a company that made light-weight concrete panels for buildings. Their system involved putting steel re-bar under tension, pouring the concrete around it and then after curing releasing the tension. The pull of the bars into the substrate of concrete put the hole thing under tension resulting in a stiff and light-weight panel.

Similarly, if you take a sheet of plywood and impart a twist to it you can end up with something that is quite rigid and good for a hull. But that is in part because of the alternating grains in the plywood and the fact that wood is stronger under compression.

This is why you can actually get a stronger, lighter hull out of wood than you can with fiberglass. It will be more prone to damage from punctures though than a composite hull. Adding on a light layer of glass in a substrate of resin is usually the answer to that but it does add not an insignificant amount of weight.

A friend of mine works in composite materials and I tried to get him to experiment with a similar concept to the concrete panels, putting the glass fibres under tension, pouring resin on it and then putting the result under compression. One question is whether how the resin will react in this matter. Would it for example become more brittle. I'm not of a chemist to be able to know the answer and too lazy to try this experimentally. It would be interesting to see what would happen.

We do sell some resins in to the 3D printing market - but the resulting products tend to be much more brittle than those made the "traditional" way.