LH19, that's an interesting analogy, wish it only took 4 days in real life
Jac12, thanks for the positive thoughts, I certainly would like to think there is still some hope left. I've started reading through your threads now as well.
Steve85, yes I certainly hope the counselor she speaks with is a pro marriage one. I know some counselors will just lead them wherever they think they will be "happy".
I'm working on just continuing to move forward and really focusing on trying to create stronger friendships and being more open and better at conversations. In my opinion that is one of my largest flaws, just being very closed off and internalizing all my issues. I'm a very shy person, so I'm really trying to power through that and just talk to people.
I'm working on just continuing to move forward and really focusing on trying to create stronger friendships and being more open and better at conversations. In my opinion that is one of my largest flaws, just being very closed off and internalizing all my issues. I'm a very shy person, so I'm really trying to power through that and just talk to people.
What action are you taking to break out of your shyness? Here are some ideas:
IC Toastmasters Speech class at the local Community College Training resources at work
So many people that are shy think "that is who I am". Doesn't have to be. I was very shy in my younger days. Now I am very outgoing. You can change that about you just like you can change other things about yourself.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Steve, so one big thing, at work I often have to give presentations to a pretty large crowd. I am trying to do that more often and just build confidence in doing that.
Also just talking to people in general. I am really trying to make an effort to engage in conversations and ask people questions about themselves.
However, I can now confidently say I am doing these things for myself only. Some things transpired that I have decided I am done standing for this marriage. I am moving forward with steps to end the marriage and unfortunately I am no longer interested in reconciling.
I want to thank everyone on this forum so much. I truly appreciate that you all give your time to help others. This is such a great community and I am happy to have found it. I am going to try my best to keep responding to other threads as I want to pay it forward and help others as well. Thank you everyone!
This is kind of weird, but do any of you ever hope your WW wants to reconcile just so you can tell her no? That’s what keeps going through my head right now. I guess I just want her to know she was wrong, I need to work on those feelings for sure.
I'm a very shy person, so I'm really trying to power through that and just talk to people.
Hey JST - me too! Especially with women. It's hard to get talking isnt it. I find it easier in talking with women that I'll pick something about them, say their nails, or piece of jewellery, or clothing item, compliment it and go from there.
Today, a lady who served me at a shop had a smart watch that looked like mine. As I handed the money over I asked if it was the same brand as mine, it was, and we got to talking about how fantastic our watches were, what they did, etc etc.
The other day I commented about a ladies shoes as I passed her and I got a smile and a few words back.
Anyway, it seems to work. Baby steps though.
If you're shy, try reading the book Style Life challenge.
Good luck mate.
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
This is kind of weird, but do any of you ever hope your WW wants to reconcile just so you can tell her no? That’s what keeps going through my head right now. I guess I just want her to know she was wrong, I need to work on those feelings for sure.
Just posting out my thoughts...
I R with my W, and over the last 2 years I've had the thought that I should have told her "sorry, this ain't working for me." I went through it bad about the 1 years mark of BD.
Here's the problem, it just a fantasy. If she came back wanting to R you'd be over the moon, more than likely. That is your anger towards her clouding your judgement.
Just focus on you! You are doing great, keep it up.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
That's an interesting take on the fantasy, I guess I won't know how I will feel unless that actually happened, but right now it sure does not feel like I would be over the moon. I feel disgusted with her at the moment.
In my previous posts I mentioned we had met and finalized numbers, well I did my part to insure I can come through with what we agreed on. I informed her of that and asked her to get the papers ready to go. It's been a week since I asked her to do this. She still has not gotten them ready and today sent me a message that she is finding it difficult to figure out on her own and wants to sit down and do them together.
Our situation is fairly simple, there isn't a lot to split, our state provides an interview tool that asks you some questions and fills out the paperwork for you as long as you agree on everything and are not using lawyers. It's really quite easy, absolutely no reason we need to sit down together anymore.
I haven't responded to her yet, but I just went ahead and filled it out myself, it took all of 15 minutes and I will send her the paperwork tomorrow via e-mail to review.
Do you guys think she really can't figure this out, or is she just continuing to drag it out? I certainly think she is a moron with her current life choices, but she isn't a stupid person intellectually.
Well I responded to her text and let her know I sent the paperwork via email. She then asked if I am just avoiding seeing her now and didn’t say anything about the paperwork. How would you guys respond to that? I don’t want to see her, and I don’t really see any reason why it’s necessary.
