Moving back into the MBR at the moment will make matter worse..
How? Your wife is telling you she wants to divorce you. How can things get worse? You have multiple people telling you to stay in the house, take back the MBR, and avoid MC. Yet, you still choose to do these things. You say you haven't given up yet, but your actions are saying differently. By not doing these things, you're basically laying down and being a doormat for her to wipe her feet on as she's walking out the door. Stop worrying about what she will do. Stop being scared of her. If you want any chance at saving your marriage, you need to really start DB'ing. It's more than just reading a book and thinking it has good ideas. Db'ing is taking the actions, no matter how counter intuitive they may seem, and turning the situation around to save your marriage. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, BUD!...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Bud listen to the advice. I didn’t listen because of fear. I didn’t want to upset her, I thought by staying in the basement she would see I was trying to make her happy. It doesn’t work like that. I was told numerous times to take it back and I kept saying I didn’t want to rock the boat or make her angry. You know what happens they lose respect. You are the king of your castle take back the MBR. I didn’t and still got d. The WW will just keep taking it you let them. I just kept giving in to what she wanted hoping to make her happy. It just makes them feel more entitled. Take it back. She will yell and scream call you names, but if you want to have a chance start there. I wish I would have listened but fear was running my life.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
Bud, I have two cases in my own world, IRL, to draw from. Mine, and my best friend's. Our respective Ws were best friends since college, and both went down the WW path together. My friend appeased his WW, let her walk all over him, stayed in the house but gave up the MBR, all but gave her a license to continue cheating on him under their roof. You know vwhat I did...and the good folks in this forum are advising you to do the same. My case reconciled. My friend's did not.
Do what works.
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
