The weekend was very interesting. The docs xh was admitted into the er and eventually moved into icu as his heart was only functioning at 10%. She ended up spending all day sat and sun with him and his family, translating medical information and being there for whatever support she could provide.
I ended up having her son all day Sunday and my xw got to meet him when she came to pick up the girls. It wasnt awkward however she volunteered to take him to the park with her and the girls which declined as I didn't feel comfortable. We ended up meeting them over there but told her I had to take him home to his house first to get his drone so he could fly it.
I trust my xw but he doesn't know her, the dr doesnt know her either and the doc put him in my care, not my xws so I didn't feel it was appropriate. Anyway it was kind of wierd and when my xw offered I dont think she was thinking and obviously thought it was no big deal.
first, I think it’s good you are taking the doctors son. Secondly, he’s a kid. And no matters who’s kid, it’s like a motherly instinct to see the 3 playing and want to take them all. Your exW seems like she is a pretty natural mother, and she’s a teacher, so what she is seeing is a little boy, not the dr’s son. I am very much the same way. But I totally get the awkwardness and I wouldn’t say yes unless the score knew and was comfortable with.
It really is a beautiful thing when everyone gets along
It is much better on everyone, you're right I don't think my x thought anything about it. I was the one that probably felt more awkward. The doc doesn't know my x, her son doesn't know my x and if something happened and he wasnt in my care I would have been really upset. I know she is my x and former wife but things are different know and someone else's kid is involved. I feel bad I technically didnt let my x take him but it's not the same as it was when we were married.
Absolutely TB. I’m sure your XW understood that and didn’t think you were questioning her parenting skills. I would have done the same thing as you. Hope the doc’s XH improves. Sounds like it is pretty serious. Good for her for helping the family. She’s a keeper!!!
Hopefully so but it is what it is. She is a keeper and her xh was really sick. He has a history of heart issues in his family and is one of those guys that never gets a check up and downplays his symptoms. He has been reaching out to the doc more frequently as his symptoms have got worse and he finally got to the point were he was convinced he needed to go to the ER. Anyway, his heart was only functioning at 10% and his organs were starting to fail so needless to say he is in bad shape. The doc didn't want to go but felt as though she needed to be their for him and their family as that was her role when they were married. It didn't bother me at all, even though he is not a good dad, their son loves him very much and it would crush him if he died.
He may make it out of the woods this time but he will have to implement some serious life style changes moving forward in order to live.
My step-mom's mother passed away over the weekend so I have to fly back home for the visitation and funeral this weekend. Maybe i'll get to see some snow as I fly into Chicago!
The Dr is doing what you do when you're a doctor - you be there for your people when they have medical problems because you know how useful it is to have a doctor on your side, translating things.
If his ejection fraction is only 10% he's in pretty bad shape - like heart transplant territory. Hopefully it's a temporary drop, but if not, he's in a boatload of trouble.
My step-mom does the same thing and she is a nurse so I understand. I am not a medical professional but she said the cardiologist told him he can never drink ever again and she mentioned him having to wear some sort of jacket that will shock his heart if he having an episode. I guess there wasn't much they could do in the ICU as they were afraid to give him any meds as his heart was so weak. He has been battling symptoms for quite some time and just didn't want to go.
His died dad of a major heart attack when he was about 52 so heart issues run in his family. I guess it's just a waiting game now but if he passes I will feel really bad for their little boy. He was adopted, doesn't know his birth father and now his real dad as he knows it could possibly die.
I would do it for my XH, not out of any affection towards him, but 1.) to support the girls and 2.) because XH has a very complicated medical history, much of which he doesn't remember or gets wrong because he was in a coma or drugged up and still relies on me for stuff. He's had the girls call me and ask me medical stuff that he just can't remember. I'm not a doctor or a nurse, but if I'm in a position to help him with things related to his medical issues I will, because I was there and I "survived" a bunch of stuff right alongside him. In cases like this, I feel like it is bigger than a her vs. him mentality. It is about being a decent person. And, if that decent person happens to be a doctor or nurse who can offer actual reliable medical advice, then that is great.
For what it is worth, I think you did right by the doctor and her son in not letting him go with your XW. Like G, when you described what happened, it seemed obvious to me that her mother instincts kicked in and she just offered to include another child so he would feel exactly that....included. But, in your shoes, I wouldn't have let him go either because he was entrusted in MY care, not the care of my XW or anyone else. I'm sure your XW didn't take it as an affront to her mothering skills either. Anyone who is good at being a mom would've totally understood why you said no even though they felt compelled to ask (and will ask again if the situation happens to arise again).
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
