Still married couple from Scandinavia

[BenB]

Thank you AS,

I haven´t made a big deal of NYE for many years now so I didn´t think it would be a problem. I was invited by several people to join them and bring my dog but I said I´ll just stay home. I think it would have been different if I had a kid who was home with me. It wasn´t horrible to be home with my dog but it wasn´t a pain free as I expected either. But now I know for next year at least

I´m wondering if she´ll want to recon. She´s just so proud and hates being wrong. But besides that, she tends to run away from things and avoid dealing with them. She´s always been like that. So for her to want to face what she´s done and deal with all that, that would be a HUGE 180 for her.

But we´ll see. Feeling better today and more positive so just shows that cycling continues even when you´ve come far. I really appreciate you and LH commenting, it really helps.

[AnotherStander]

I´m wondering if she´ll want to recon. She´s just so proud and hates being wrong. But besides that, she tends to run away from things and avoid dealing with them. She´s always been like that. So for her to want to face what she´s done and deal with all that, that would be a HUGE 180 for her.

You've seen the story about my friend whose W left him and they split up the business and all that, she was one stubborn woman! I never would have thought she would reverse course like she did, but it does happen. Not every time, but you never know!

Feeling better today and more positive so just shows that cycling continues even when you´ve come far.

It does indeed but over time the "lows" are shorter and more shallow until they eventually fade away. You've come a really long way from where you started!

[BenB]

Thank you AS, with your help I´ve come far indeed

[Traveler]

Hi Ben,

Belated happy birthday. Glad you had some ups this month, sorry for the downs. May I ask how CouchSurfing has turned out? I'm both visiting one couch and hosting another this week. No dating intentions--just looking forward to meeting locals in the towns I visit, and fellow travelers when at home.

[BenB]

Hi CW,

Sorry, I have been here a few times reading and I´ve not seen that you posted. Didn´t mean to ignore you. I just opened my thread to journal a bit and saw this but first thank you for the birthday wishes

I haven´t hosted any more people lately, I wrote to one girl who replied that she´s only looking for female hosts(so clearly not in to dating haha) but other than that it´s just been men and couples. I feel bad declining their requests but I´m a busy man and don´t have time for both dating and hosting others. But there´s another reason why and I´ll write a separate post about it next. But I definitely recommend that you both host and meet locals, I still stay in touch with the girls from Ukraine and I hope to visit them someday. It´s fun to be able to travel almost anywhere in the world and have someone local guide you to all the cool spots or just hang out with. Due to my work, I sort of already have it like that when I travel but I think the more people you know the better.

How did your Couchsurfing experience go? I looked at your recent posts and haven´t seen you mention anything.

[BenB]

Journal -

So there´s this girl...we matched on Tinder right after Christmas and it was a slow start. I just assumed we probably won´t even meet like most other matches. But we´ve kept in touch and have been messaging each other every day. She knows about what has happened and the time period of it all but not details on how painful it was for me and what a nightmare 2019 was.

We were supposed to meet last week but she got sick. I immediately got suspicious but saw her instastory that she was home sick in bed for a few days. So the plan is that we´re going to meet tomorrow or Wednesday. A few days ago I kept looking at my phone, hoping she would message me and got an email from W with a screen shot from the local police warning dog owners in the area since one dog was poisoned and died. She wrote please be careful with pug. I hadn´t even thought of W in a while when I got it so I answered the following day and thanked her. I also added that the pug is doing fine and attached a recent photo of him. She responded almost immediately.

W: "Aww, my cute little boy. Omg that's adorable!!! Little fat munchkin ❤️

Have to have him soon, now I have more room, and live at xxx street"

I was surprised she would give me her address and that place is just 5 min walk from where I live. Also surprised she thinks she can have him. I still haven´t responded and probably won´t.

On Friday I had a get together at my house where some of my female friends(my W knows them very well and they used to get along) saw my pug for the first time. Three of them were cuddling with him at one point and I filmed that. Just a very cute video and part of me wanted to send it to W but I stopped myself since I had made it clear I don´t want to be her friend.

I keep thinking about this girl from Tinder. Not only is he beautiful but she´s so different from all the others I´ve been writing with. Anyway, too early to tell. I´ll let you know how it goes after I´ve met her.

On Feb 6 it´s the anniversary of my BD. Can´t believe it´s almost been a year. I look so different physically today.(AS has seen the pics so he knows ) I feel so different mentally. I´m proud of myself and feel thankful to everyone here for all your support. Thank you everyone!

[AnotherStander]

I was surprised she would give me her address and that place is just 5 min walk from where I live. Also surprised she thinks she can have him. I still haven´t responded and probably won´t.

Interesting that she's finding these excuses to temp check you. And what the heck, she lives a 5 minute walk from you??? That is a VERY strange move for someone that is supposedly done and moving on. She clearly knew the chances were good she might run into you being that close. Good job not responding, it's all just a little too soon for that I think.

Three of them were cuddling with him at one point and I filmed that. Just a very cute video and part of me wanted to send it to W but I stopped myself since I had made it clear I don´t want to be her friend.

So you had three mutual female friends over and filmed them and thought about sending it to W? LOL! Glad you didn't!

I keep thinking about this girl from Tinder. Not only is he beautiful but she´s so different from all the others I´ve been writing with. Anyway, too early to tell. I´ll let you know how it goes after I´ve met her.

You already know my feelings on this, but don't get too attached until you've met! Learn from my mistakes

I look so different physically today.(AS has seen the pics so he knows)

Yes, HUGE transformation! From dad bod to ripped male underwear model Nice work my friend!

[BenB]

Thanks AS,

I know how that sounds about the female friends but W knows them all and really wouldn´t mind, I have known them for close to 20 years. One of the girls husband can be heard in the video laughing at my pug being adored by them all. If W and I had been together still she would have loved seeing that video and would have shared it. But I´m still glad I didn´t of course, it would open the door to her contacting me every day.

You´re right, it´s not like me to think about someone this much that I haven´t even met yet. Hope this isn´t some side effect of being separated for a while. I´ll see how it feels after we´ve met.

Thanks

[LH19]

Benny B,

I just want to warn you in advance the first date never lives up to expectations. Even if you only end up liking her a little go out on a second date. On the second date expectations will be tempered and you will have a better evaluation.

[BenB]

Thanks LH,

I´ll update on everything shortly. Just need to start a new thread first