You tell me dude you agreed to this. I would never agree to share my w with someone if I was married.
She told me a few months ago "I'm a single woman."
When they're wayward if doesn't matter what is said - she has the mindset where she could ruin everything for me and my kids. And she has plenty of friends egging her on.
One of her friends told her to ask me for an open marriage. I said no. The in-house separation allows us to co-parent while leading independent lives - and it only works if both parties cooperate.
I get you can’t control her but you certainly can protect yourself. Have you read up on boundaries?
How can she ruin everything for you and the kids?
I am going to start reading up on boundaries. She could sell the house, although she would need my permission to do so. She could threaten D. All sorts of things really. My kids would be devastated. They're having a hard time adjusting to the separation.
I get you can’t control her but you certainly can protect yourself. Have you read up on boundaries?
How can she ruin everything for you and the kids?
I had thought about selling the house (which she really loves) but listing it at a price no one would buy - consider it shock and awe. I'd have a couple of realtors come round and assess it while she is there.
Oh boy. Don’t bother with boundaries because you won’t set them anyway. Your acting out a fear and that is never going to end well. Once she finds your replacement she’s gonna D you anyway. Your best bet is to call her on her BS see a lawyer and figure out what your options are moving forward. Are you in a no fault state?
Your kids will be fine if they have a dad who is their rock and they will respect you for not compromising your values.
Oh boy. Don’t bother with boundaries because you won’t set them anyway. Your acting out a fear and that is never going to end well. Once she finds your replacement she’s gonna D you anyway. Your best bet is to call her on her BS see a lawyer and figure out what your options are moving forward. Are you in a no fault state?
Your kids will be fine if they have a dad who is their rock and they will respect you for not compromising your values.
The state I live in is both fault and no-fault. Yes, there is a certain fear there - mostly for what will become of my kids. I am going to get a consult.
We signed the agreement at the beginning of the year. It does allow dating but not bringing dates back to the house.
Oh OK, so this is an in-house separation agreement. I thought the two of you were living apart. I can certainly understand stipulating that you can't bring a date home, and wow, that's pretty crazy that she wants to. Seems that you are dealing with a full-blown wayward who could go GGW at any moment. You may be in for a very rough ride ahead.
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I'm going to stay out of her way - as it is I avoid being in the same room as her.
Good, keep that up.
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I can't control her behavior but I can only control my actions which are difficult when she is having "buyers remorse" over a document that she agreed and signed with me
WW's often behave like rebellious teens. You set boundaries and they immediately test them. You make agreements and they agree, then ignore and break them. So you've got to ask yourself what your end game is. How are you going to deal with this mess? The way I see it you have two options- 1. continue the in-house separation and treat her as nothing more than a roommate. Do this and you risk you and (worse) your kids being exposed to all kinds of awful behavior. 2. file for divorce and sell the house. There really isn't any in-between scenario, you simply can't negotiate with her because it's like negotiating with a terrorist. You can negotiate all you want but at the end of the day she is going to continue her reign of terror regardless, and it just makes you look weak and powerless to her.
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She told me a few months ago "I'm a single woman."
