Thanks DS9. I am forming some great the thories and mindsets over the last 24hrs..I think Im going to start playing a little game with myself this new year. Every time I start thinking of the past and getting emotionally stuck at times. Im going to actually do something beneficial or new for myself and just keep adding to the list. Building and doing building and doing.
So last week was a bad week. Water pump broke on car. $500 bill. Credit card near max. Mom went into hospital one week ago for slight fever, shortness of breath, eventually had to be intubated, respiratory shut down, kidneys shut down, liver shut down. The hospital did everything they could with dialysis and treatment and I highly commend them for it. Mom unfortunately died yesterday. Im going to miss her. She was my confidant. My inspiration, my rock, and my best friend. Missed a boatload of work and $. Haven't slept in 5 days, have to settle funeral arrangements and estate. Wake for Thurs. Funeral for Friday. Snow coming Sat, S2 has minor ear surgery Friday early morning. Have to figure out with Brothers what to do with Moms house since its willed to my brother, but Im POA and Executor. Place is a $hithole so its going to take months if not a year to get it to market. XW was helpful with intentions. She started giving me advice on the estate stuff twice, so I politely said thanks for the advice, very useful and appreciate it. But you are overstepping your bounds. But she meant well and was just looking out for me and I get that. Got to see S2 briefly Sat and take him to the playground before I had to rush to the hospital. We had fun. Despite everything going on, and mediation possibly starting soon. I'm glad Mom is in a better place. For the life of me I can't figure out how or why I'm so calm through all of this. Im actually pretty good. I feel like the rock in the storm. It must be Jesus.
Oh man, so sorry to hear about your mom IH, that's terrible! At least she went quickly and with little pain, it's a small silver lining but it's something.
I was executor for my grandmother's estate. I was handling it from 250 miles away. Her place was also a mess. We spent a week going through everything and throwing stuff away, giving stuff away, determining what we wanted to keep and what would go in the estate sale. I hired a person that specializes in estate sales and let her handle that part of it. Her place needed a ton of work but we elected to sell it as-is. Of course we got less for it, but in my opinion it was well worth the loss to not have to deal with renovations for months. So you might consider that. Consult with a realtor and find out how much it's worth as-is, and how much it would be worth renovated. Evaluate that against the renovation costs to decide if it's worth messing with. Good luck!
Yeah AS I think Im going to go that route. Life's too busy and too short to be spending my time putting a silk hat on a pig. But its willed to my brother so? Ill see what he wants to do. He wants to start over and move south across the country. He's been holding the bag, paying all the taxes and helping Mom for the last 8 years. I'm considering the same. As long as I work out custody. Have a dilapidated house in a now prime area and prime market. [censored] it's a knock down.
Oh gee IH. I don't know what to say my friend. You and your family have my prayers, sympathies and deepest respect at the passing of your mother. I'm so sorry for all the sh*t you've been through mate.
Keep posting with your thoughts and feelings and know you've got DB kin everywhere in the world, and especially a virtual DB bro in Oz.
Have you thought about seeing a GP to maybe get some meds to help take the edge off and sleep?
Focus on getting through this, even if it's minute by minute.
If you need $ help to fix your car, let me know, ok.
Stay strong buddy. I'll have you and your mum in my prayers tonight.
With sympathy, DS
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
Thanks guys. Actually staying pretty strong, and handling it pretty well. Things are getting done in short and timely fashion. The estate affairs ate going to be a whole nother ball game. Almost handling things a little too well which scares me. No meds. No counciling. Getting a reasonable amount of sleep. Got me rethinking my whole life. Something about my personna where I overreact to the small annoying trivial things that trip me up, that add up to big things. But for some reason in crises I thrive, Im calm, and I get things done. Kind of telling myself, if I can get through D and parent passing, I can do anything in life. Been here before with my Father so?
Hi IHC. Admittedly, due to you getting good advice from others, I haven't kept up on your sitch. Can you give me a summary of where you are today, vs, say, 6 months ago?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
