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A Message from Michele
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The odd one out #2880465
01/13/20 10:35 PM
01/13/20 10:35 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,037
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Ginger1 Online OP
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Ginger1  Online OP
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Joined: Feb 2015
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Previous Thread:

Lost, but hoping to find myself

My title is fitting, because thatís the way I feel.

Job, thank you. This is actually the only place I feel comfortable venting in my life. Iím still here after all these years due to the unremarkable support and friendship. I hate being the miserable one all the time.

I had the day off. Went to the doctor, refilled my meds, went to return stuff at the mall, went to the grocery store, went to the gym, and went to TJís soon Iím going to cook the kid and I a steak dinner as per her request. First I have to ice my painful feet. I will tell you, I love those endorphins from hard exercise. Since Iím not getting them from chocolate anymore, exercise is the place.

If anyone read my last post, itís just really tough not having someone ( an adult) who comes home and asks about your day and kisses your forehead. For so many years now. Iíve just lost hope.

My area of growth, however, is even though I think I might be at the loneliest right now, I still know I would not settle for any less than I want or deserve. I will not act of desperation. Especially when I know that will only get me right back where I am now.

Funny OLD story of the day. I think I mentioned a guy on FB dating liked me who happens to the brother of twins that were in my class. When I mentioned that, I think he might have freaked. Then today we matched on bumble. It I didnít place him right away. First, I placed him as someone I talked to a while back on Bumble and I said he seemed really familiar. The. I really put it together! And I said, ďhey, itís you again! So and soís brother!!!l we keep finding each other on dating sites! I probably REALLY scared him away this time. But heís so freakiní cute. He graduated in 95í , my exís sister graduated in Ď94 and 96í, my ex graduated in 97í and i in 98í all from the same small high school.

There is this other guys I am talking to who seems so normal. Heís been divorced for 10 years, had a 7 year LTR in there and has been single for a year. He also had a 13 year old daughter. Heís got a little bit of my interest.

I told my D 13 she could have a sleepover this weekend. Itís fun for me to see her have fun, so why not? Itíll be a pizza and painting sleepover .

Last edited by job; 01/13/20 11:05 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
Re: The odd one out [Re: Ginger1] #2880466
01/13/20 10:42 PM
01/13/20 10:42 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,467
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DejaVu6 Offline
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DejaVu6  Offline
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Sounds like you have a few possibles in the mix Ginger. Please donít give up hope. It will happen!!! (((HUGS)))


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: The odd one out [Re: Ginger1] #2880488
01/14/20 03:58 AM
01/14/20 03:58 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,631
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Offline
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bttrfly  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2015
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Massachusetts
{{{{{hugs}}}}}
I think the guy who keeps popping up is an interesting possibility, if he's not scared.

xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

Take what you want and leave the rest. No harm, no foul.
Re: The odd one out [Re: Ginger1] #2880502
01/14/20 06:30 AM
01/14/20 06:30 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,802
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kml Offline
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Take your time shopping girlfriend.

Re: The odd one out [Re: Ginger1] #2880514
01/14/20 12:52 PM
01/14/20 12:52 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,037
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Ginger1 Online OP
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Iím sure taking my time. This guy has carried himself wonderfully so far. But I know nothing about him.

This week will be the worst at work. Just got the text that the joint commission is here to do their 4 day survey. If anyone is in healthcare, they know the joint commission showing up is like having FBI investigating a crime scene. If I get chosen for an interview Iíll probably just break and cry.

Of course they couldnít start day 1 yesterday when I wasnít there

Re: The odd one out [Re: Ginger1] #2880531
01/14/20 02:23 PM
01/14/20 02:23 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,467
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DejaVu6 Offline
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(((Ginger))). Hang in there girl... you are a strong and intelligent woman. You got this!!


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: The odd one out [Re: Ginger1] #2880534
01/14/20 02:32 PM
01/14/20 02:32 PM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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doodler Offline
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doodler  Offline
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
If I get chosen for an interview Iíll probably just break and cry.

Change your mindset. If you're chosen for an interview, one of your interviewers might be the Mr. Wonderful that you've been looking for all these years.

Re: The odd one out [Re: Ginger1] #2880671
01/14/20 11:38 PM
01/14/20 11:38 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,037
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Ginger1 Online OP
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Ginger1  Online OP
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We locked our selves into the closet of an office we have today. Of course we came out to see patients, otherwise we were locked away. Day 1 down. I fear the interview because itís a phobia. I do not do well on the spot with people asking me questions like an interrogation. I hate public speaking. I just become a stutterer. You should see what I do around really good looking guys, itís even worse! Today was just another crazy busy day where I got out late.

So this new guy only has his daughter every other weekend and we are on opposite weekends. I canít wrap my head around why a father would only see his kid every other weekend ( which my ex does with the exception of 4 extra nights on the month) I am not going to judge yet..... but I can barely get a date to happen with opposite weekends. Anyways, I told him my child schedule and that we are on opposite weekends and replied ď great! Guess thatís that!Ē Oh well.
I face plenty of challenges in this OLD world with majority custody . And Iím not willing to bend for anyone who doesnít bend for me anymore. So I guess thatís that.

And not to hijack anyoneís thread anymore. Iíll place this here. I mentioned on Jís thread that knew my R wasnít really all that good when I looked at the way J appreciated and treated the Dr. and how M did not appreciate me and treated me like an afterthought. I will never go back there anymore. I deserve to be treated like Jís doctor.

And dawn. About my feelings towards The exís wife. I know she must have stepparent struggles. I know they arenít one big happy family. But to look at the 3 of them plastered on FB..... the memory of how they came to be that kicks me in the gut sometimes. The truth behind those pictures I only know. And it is upsetting.

And to speak to the the thoughts on whether their ex is happy or not.... I knew I was totally over my ex when I didnít think or care anymore if he was happy or unhappy. I know many people soothe themselves by the thought of their exís being unhappy after their decision to divorce . That doesnít soothe me at all. And if he is very happy? That doesnít anger me anymore either. Because I know that I was not happy with him. Maybe the only thing I derive is that Iím not crazy. Because he hasnít changed. He treats me better than he ever did, honestly, but thatís because Iím not his wife. He treats his women very poorly. Iím not his anymore.

Iím still just lonely and overwhelmed as ever. Maybe I just need to hold out until D has graduated high school. Iíll have more freedom and flexibility then. Iím not counting on much happening until then.

Another day.

Re: The odd one out [Re: Ginger1] #2880674
01/14/20 11:59 PM
01/14/20 11:59 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,466
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Dawn70 Offline
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Originally Posted by Ginger1


And dawn. About my feelings towards The exís wife. I know she must have stepparent struggles. I know they arenít one big happy family. But to look at the 3 of them plastered on FB..... the memory of how they came to be that kicks me in the gut sometimes. The truth behind those pictures I only know. And it is upsetting.



Understood! I apologize if I offended you or hurt your feelings. That was absolutely not my intention. Iím sure it is a very difficult thing. Iím sorry you have to deal with it.


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
1 adult daughter and bonus daughter-in-law from current H's first marriage
Re: The odd one out [Re: Ginger1] #2880676
01/15/20 12:05 AM
01/15/20 12:05 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,037
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Ginger1 Online OP
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Joined: Feb 2015
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You never, ever hurt my feelings dawn! Ever! I also got a taste of the struggle of the stepparent being with M. I wasnít the stepparent, and I was lucky to have that kid love me. But M wasnít all for it. He had lots of rules, put lots of boundaries in place because of his insecurities. And it is HARD trying to tread that fine line. I would have really really struggled if we got married. Not because of the child. Not even because of the mother. But because of the guy I loved. I have the utmost respect for stepparents, the ones who came into the kids lives in a legit fashion. Living a kid that you didnít give birth to...... itís very powerful.

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