Had a good NYE with all my kids and their friends. Good food, pizza, loud music, movies, and video games until 3am. I had 5 kids at my house. It was hard knowing where WAH was but I tried to focus on the part where I had all my kids with me.
NY day was hard because WAH invited my 22 year old niece over to his house to see S19 and D14. I'm estranged from my family (8-20 years) so no, no, no, NO!!!! I have no idea what WAH was thinking letting her and my sister in his house. I was so ANGRY. I don't do this often but I pulled the "because I said so" parenting card. D14 and D17 are respecting my wishes but S19 is staying neutral. He's not on social media, doesn't text and lives with me. I don't think he will go out of his way to stay in contact with my family. He stood up for me telling them "Mom wants NOTHING to do with this".
Took a zanex to calm me down....
My sister had an actual conversation with my parents about how they were going to kill me so I don't give a flip about my 22 year old niece as long as my sister is in the picture.
My sister is a parasite and my only guess as to why WAH allowed this is because he got played. He likely thought my niece would come alone and yeah that's not how my family operates. I was happy to hear my sister's oldest daughter cut them all out. Smart girl.
WAH figured out he got played. He told D14 that he won’t do that again and he blocked her. D14 feels bad because she had to block her on Instagram too. My family is bad news and I’m grateful WAH saw it. I already feel bad so I don’t need the added drama.
There is a 50% chance he's just trying to be play the good guy in front of his kids. Upsetting me upsets them. There is a 50% chance he's just placating me so I don't ruin the cake eating situation he's got going on. He finally told S19 he got promoted feigning that he "forgot".
How are you doing? What are you planning to do this weekend?
kas, you are too focused on what he's doing, saying and with whom. Let it go. He's not living with you and he's out on his own right now. Whatever he's doing is of his own making and you need to be focusing on you and what you need to do to survive. You are attempting to mind read him and trust me, it is going to drive your anxiety up and drive you nuts. Let it go. Focus on what you are doing and can control.
I realize that you "want to hear" what's going on over there, but your kids are not helping you because it is keeping you churned up. At some point, you need to tell them that what goes on over there needs to stay over there. I also realize that they think that they are helping you...the info isn't helping you and it shows in your postings.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I need to talk about how I feel. I can't just flip a switch and not care about what he is doing. He talks to the kids about me in a similar manner. It is getting better but we are still somewhat tied together despite neither of us wanting to be. We both wish the other would be vaporized off the planet for different reasons of course but still.
After he left the kids and I adjusted to our new normal and he became irrelevant (he was never around). He's still irrelevant but now D14 lives with him. She no longer wants to live there (dinners at midnight are getting old) but it's going to take me some time to unwind this.
I need to talk about how I feel. I can't just flip a switch and not care about what he is doing. He talks to the kids about me in a similar manner. It is getting better but we are still somewhat tied together despite neither of us wanting to be. We both wish the other would be vaporized off the planet for different reasons of course but still.
After he left the kids and I adjusted to our new normal and he became irrelevant (he was never around). He's still irrelevant but now D14 lives with him. She no longer wants to live there (dinners at midnight are getting old) but it's going to take me some time to unwind this.
But you are keeping the ties there on your own doing. You don’t need the emotional ties or the ties of what is going on over there. You are keeping yourself attached through your kids and mind reading. And even if you mind read correctly, how does it change anything for you? It doesn’t.
You are the one who is keeping u healthy ties, and you are the one with the power to break them
S19 has stopped talking about WAH and yes it has helped. This thing with D14 is new. I went from seeing her every 2 weeks to pretty much every day. I have no idea what I’m doing.
WAHs house has cockroaches and when I dropped D14 off she called me in tears wanting S19 to kill one since WAH isn’t home. WAH got home at 11pm and was mad because D14 needed a new toothbrush (bug got on it). Yeah she shouldn’t have left it out but she’s a child.
This triggered memories of WAH getting mad over lots of inconvenient things. I’d try to calm him down before he broke something. Always serious, couldn’t laugh, upset when unexpected things happened. I don’t miss that.
