Don- thank you, that’s a much better better explanation. And pretty accurate. I really actual can’t wait for the day until I slow down. I look forward to to the day I get to slow down. You have no idea. I am afraid that day might never come.
Being pretty much a single parent with no help for your child’s whole life is the most exhausting challenge one will ever take on. You sleep with one eye open, you worry about every thing 10 fold than parents with partners and a big support system.
I never, ever though I would be where I am right now at 40. Never. I’m burning out, honestly.
I got my nursing license in the mail yesterday. Which mean I can start my new job. And I want to cry. I do not want another job. I’m tired. But I have no choice. And it stinks. I took a week off in February from my full time job so I can do orientation at my weekend job. I need a real vacation!!! Hopefully I will have one in April. The plus is getting paid for 2 jobs in one week.
Did I see myself at 40 still single, still doing the solo parent thing, and working 2 jobs ? Absolutely not. It’s a tough pill to swallow for sure.
I dropped my car off at 7 am to be get my tires replaced. Ubered to work and my dad picked me up to get my car. The idiots did not do something important I reminded them about 4 times to do. I went off at the shop. Went out of my way to leave my car there all day to get everything done and they “forgot” after multiple reminders to do it. I literally went off my rocker. And I’ll be calling the manager tomorrow.
On a good note, my dad came and he did some stuff for me and he bought us new leather reclining sofas. The best part about him being anal is that he is so uncomfortable on my couches he wanted to buy me new ones . I must say, he’s been really good lately. I think he heard what I had to say. He’s less judge mental and more helpful. I’m grateful for that.
I’ve been chatting with 2 guys, but you can tell they are totally distracted by probably 10 other conversations they are having. I’m not really all that stimulated by these guys.
I did try to sign up for a cooking class! I had been looking into it but I found mostly couples cooking classes. But the. It popped up that a nice grocery store is hosting these cooking classes every Thursday. I tried to do in 2 Thursday’s a pierogis making class, but all spots are taken.
I really am trying to get out there. I am not hopeful I’ll meet anyone, but I just need to enjoy life as it is. A big part of life at my age is couples stuff.socializing is all about couples doing stuff together. And I get excluded from that. And it stinks. So I am trying to choose things that would be fun on my own. Because let’s be real, a lot of things are just not enjoyable on your own.
One day, I will be sitting on the porch with my man, just doing nothing and being totally contented. For now, I have to figure it out and in my position. I thought about a vision board. I feel like there is so much I am missing out on. I want to really enjoy life.
I have been reading more in this section of the forum since I am divorced now. I learn a lot from all of you here even if I haven't made my presence known.
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I feel like there is so much I am missing out on. I want to really enjoy life.
This is my fear too. You are not alone.
1st BD December 26, 2008 PA admitted to by XW December 29, 2008
2nd BD May 23, 2019 Daughter confirms EA Divorce Finalized July 18, 2019
I am completely at wits end today. I’m so fed up with pretty much everything. I won't get into the details, but I’m having a really hard time with the PMA and gratefulness. I see no end in sight and it is so overwhelming. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my daughter. Not related to OLD, but that is so dumb too. Not a person can carry a conversation.
I need a million dollars and a foot rub.
Honestly, if it wasn’t for my daughter, I would give a crap about much. I’d go off the grid, live in a trailer and just live until I died.
I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. One million dollars and a foot rub is an interesting request. OLD can be frustrating but you just jumped back into it and need to give it some time.
Thanks for the love. A million dollars would solve my financial difficulties and a foot rub would relax me and give me my fill for physical touch. God, how I miss physical touch.
I had an interesting day today. I was talking to our department administrative assistant. She is divorced after 30 years of marriage. She is 57. She is a heavier set woman. She told me her problem is she just can’t lose the weight because all she does is eat. She’s lonely, she has no friends because her only friend was her H and couple friends. So she just sits at home and eats. She says she just doesn’t know how to be alone. She just is so scared to get out there and do stuff like meetup groups. I told her I would be her buddy and go out with her and give them a try. I felt for her big time. She is depressed and I could tell. She used to love to ski and hike and now she wants someone to do these things with.
So another coworker overheard us taking and she confessed to me her husband just left her in August. She has a 19 year old and an 11 year old. She was in tears. She said it gives her hope to see me handing it all so well. I also offered to be there for her as well and if she ever wants to go out and get dinner and a drink and talk I would be there for her too. Its weird people look to me as something positive that comes out of a divorce and they come to me for advice.
Another noteworthy funny thing.
I was doing the bumble thing . A guy I used to do CrossFit with comes up. Super nice guy. I didn’t get to know him personally, but I knew he had kids and he is a mail man. I’m friends with him on FB though. His profile was good. He likes breweries and wineries and hiking and obviously CrossFit. He’s got this long beard which is kind of cute and you can tell him face is pretty cut under there too. He is a thin cut cross for guy. Well, I swiped right out of curiosity, and we matched, which means he swiped right on me. So o sent a message “i know you!” We will see if he responds. I would totally go on a date with him. I know he comes from a good family and is very close with his sister and parents ( his sister went to the same guy) he did say I’m his profile that he separated and he knows that doesn’t work for most, but he is not looking for “most” just one. I don’t know the story behind it. But if he were to ask me out, I would say yes.
I had dinner and drinks with my friends tonight and I have not gotten out of the house on a Friday night in so long. It was much needed although we were all so early.
One day off and then back to work. I’m just so overwhelmed with life. I feel like it will never slow down. Or become easier. And that I will be going at it alone for the rest of my life.
My ex came in my house yesterday when picking up D12. We were talking about my new couches and he did a “remember when we” referring to things we owned together when we were married. It irks me. I don’t know why. He actually hasn’t forgotten about our life together. But I don’t want to really remember it sometimes. Then his wife comes in my house while picking up D12. She decides to tell me about how hard she has been working lately and all the stuff she has to do and I have no sympathy for her. I can tell she is also looking for compliments on her weight loss. I think I’ve turned into a cold biotch. I just don’t want to engage. I listen, I validate. But roll my eyes in my head.
Tomorrow is cleaning and exercise day and I’m looking forward to it. And then a nice night with Netflix. Living it up!
Walking is a fabulous way to get out and exercise your head, heart and mind. I do suggest using a walking stick which gives you some extra stability, keeps fluid from pooling in your hands and you can poke at things with it (a guy thing perhaps).
You can also tell her that there are indeed single guys out there of her age who appreciate a woman with bonus curves. The same advice that we give everyone else applies. Find yourself first before you look for anyone else. And don't settle. Better to be alone with liking yourself than to be with someone who doesn't make you feel good.
Enjoy your domestic goddess day G!
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
